Chapter 19

Her eyes rolled over to Gopher, observing him. His gaze, smooth as glass marbles, deflected hers without revealing a single fragment of emotion.

I have no idea what he’s thinking.

After an awkward silence, he finally spoke.

“The Duke of Heaven was an expert hunter. When his late-born daughter expressed interest in visiting the hunting grounds, he confidently agreed. The entrance was rarely dangerous, and his swordsmanship was exceptional—he must have been sure he could protect her.”

“…Yes.“

“But then a beast appeared, and the child ran. The duke fought and won, but his daughter slipped off a cliff while fleeing. The drop was about nine meters. Water was below, but jagged rocks jutted out, and the current was swift. What are the odds that a child could survive that?”

Gopher moistened his dry throat with the cold tea before making his declaration.

“Bleria Heaven is dead.”

“…I know.“

“Then tell that to your nightmare. Tell her to get lost instead of taking it out on random things. She’s dead and can’t even speak for herself.”

That wasn’t something she could say. Bleria’s fingers twitched, but Gopher kept flipping through his newspaper indifferently.

“It’s not like the figure in your dream is a ghost. And even if it were, dead people have no right to argue. They can’t refute anything the living say. If they want to, they should’ve stayed alive.”

Because of the thoughts that had surfaced earlier, Bleria couldn’t tell if Gopher’s words were directed at the dead child or his own family.

Whenever she felt like this, she did what she always did: keep her mouth shut.

Whether her guesses were reasonable or mere delusions, in her mind, Gopher’s trauma had taken on a precise shape. She didn’t want to provoke him, especially not on a day like this.

Gopher turned the last page of his newspaper and stacked the sheets neatly on the table. Finally, their eyes met.

“But, Bleria.”

“Yes?”

“How long must I hint before you drop the formal speech? You seemed to be getting the hang of it last time.”

I can only speak comfortably in a relaxed atmosphere.

Bleria pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. As if punishing her, Gopher shifted right next to her. His previously expressionless face twisted into a mischievous smirk.

“You’re always so tense around me. If you don’t loosen up, you’ll stay scared forever. Are you going to let that show when we’re in public?”

She regretted the impulsive promise she’d made to speak casually with him. Why did he latch onto trivial things like this? How could she talk informally to a nobleman who knew her true identity? Especially when he didn’t even want her to treat him casually.

“Why are you so afraid of me? Even strangers at parties don’t seem uncomfortable around me.“

“…You smile at them.“

“I’m smiling now too.”

Did he really think the soft mask he wore for others was the same as how he was pressing her now?

Speechless, Bleria opened her mouth but couldn’t find the words to explain the difference. She wasn’t that comfortable around him.

Meanwhile, he treated her with almost unsettling ease. He casually mentioned things that would shock others, frowned, and got annoyed around her. And…

Even though he treasures his belongings, he lent me his coat…

Bleria fiddled with the coat draped over her lap. Fearing he might see through her thoughts, she quickly added, “You’re not kind, though.“

“Want me to be?”

He leaned his cheek against the sofa’s backrest, his languid voice clinging to her ears.

She always felt like this around him, but today, her chest felt incredibly tight. Worried that the heat might spread to her cheeks, she tried to imagine him being kind.

The answer came quickly. It was a heart-racing thought but not something she wanted. This time, she spoke the way he wanted her to.

“No, be honest with me.”

Treat me especially.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me. No matter what you do, I won’t tell anyone. So…”

Show me everything.

“Yeah, Bleria. Even I need a place to breathe.”

Give me somewhere to rest. Somewhere, I can hope. Somewhere, I can delude myself.

“…Okay.”

Gopher reached for the coat on her lap.

She thought he would take it back, but he spread it out and draped it over her shoulders.

The distance between them closed as if they were embracing. Although they had shared public displays of affection as part of their engagement, Bleria had never managed to stay composed.

Too close.

What if he heard her racing heartbeat? She needed to think of something unpleasant to cool her flushed face.

It doesn’t mean anything. He’s just teasing. Or maybe…

“I must keep up appearances with others, and it’s exhausting.”

Ah.

Gopher’s words shattered whatever illusions she had. Like something breaking apart, her pulse plummeted.

Ah…

Gopher treating her comfortably was no different from someone not minding what they say in front of a pet.

It wasn’t anything special.

His large hand returned, fastening the coat up to her neck. He smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~+++~~~~~~~~~~

That beautiful yet infuriating face morphed into Bleria Heaven’s. She blinked, and she saw herself in the tea’s reflection.

She became the child swept away by the current when she blinked again.

They never found Bleria’s body.

Nothing was certain.

When circumstances changed, so would Gopher’s thoughts.

She had already experienced the disappointment of baseless hope many times. Waiting had emptied her heart and allowed her to grow cold.

What would he do when the truth came out?

He wouldn’t take my side, would he?

Feigning ignorance, she would extract a suitable price from Heaven and seek a different marriage prospect. Perhaps that would be the real Bleria returning to her rightful place.

Bleria downed the cold tea and rose from her seat. As she stepped outside, an attendant followed closely behind.

“My Lady?“

“I’ll come back another time. Please convey my regards to Her Grace and Lord Gopher.”

Her lethargic steps led her toward the main gate, but she stopped as soon as she exited the mansion. Across the street, someone was approaching with a maid.

“I can manage on my own. You don’t need to keep following me—it makes me feel bad.“

“I can’t leave you alone, Lady Eos. Please don’t feel burdened.”

On bright, sunny days, the lake’s shimmering surface would glimmer in color just like that. A warm, silvery hair color so different from her own. The gentle curve of her eyes and the soft, full under-eye skin made her look adorable, and her smile was radiant.

The first time she saw this woman’s face, she looked exactly like that.

Eos Liche.

A period was put on any lingering attachments in Bleria’s heart. As Eos drew closer, the sunlight overhead grew stronger. Despite it being late autumn, the sun’s heat felt scorching, as if it were burning her entire body.

Sensing someone’s gaze, the woman turned her head. A gust of wind blew both their hair in the same direction, and just before their eyes met—

“Sorry, I’m late.”

A tilted parasol blocked Bleria’s view. As always, a man’s face appeared a moment later, with a relaxed smile and a single bead of sweat trickling down.

“Did you wait long, Bleria?“

“…No.“

“Let’s go inside and talk.”

Gopher escorted Bleria back toward the mansion. The distance between them and Eos Liche grew once again. But even if the parasol blocked the sun, it couldn’t make the sun itself disappear from where it stood.

This time, Bleria was led to Gopher’s private study instead of the drawing room. As she waited for him to change out of his hunting clothes, she thought quietly to herself.

Why had he prevented her from meeting Eos? Was it because he still wasn’t sure if that person was real? The pendant hidden in her pocket felt heavier than ever.

It doesn’t matter.

She thought she would tremble with fear when meeting Gopher, but her heart felt no different from when she left the drawing room.

Had she accepted reality after seeing Eos Liche? Or was she, perhaps, still denying it?

Her scattered thoughts were interrupted when Gopher returned.

“I forgot to have them bring tea.“

“I’m fine. I just had some.“

“Then I won’t have any either.”

He sat across from her.

“What brings you here? Coming so urgently means you must have a reason.”

The mention of having a purpose made Bleria belatedly recall Harriet. Out of consideration for the advice she’d received, she felt compelled to say something, anything.

But as she opened her mouth, nothing came to mind.

What should I say?

Is Eos Liche the real Bleria? Are you trying to find out? And if you confirm it, what will you do with me?

If Gopher knew the truth, he wouldn’t answer honestly. If he didn’t know, asking would only stir up unnecessary trouble. The only question she could muster was something trivial.

“Do you have feelings for Eos Liche?“

“Do I seem like someone caught up in a love triangle?”

He gave a dry laugh and shook his head.

“No, not at all.”

His voice was as indifferent as if he were discussing his preference for objects. Bleria responded in the same tone.

“Then that’s fine.“

“…Alright, Bleria. I understand it takes time for you to be honest.”

He rested his clasped hands on his crossed leg.

“It seems you’re struggling to find the right words. Should I speak instead? I’m curious why your hands are empty.”