Chapter 60

Gopher’s fingertips slipped between Bleria’s fingers. The sensation of her fingers spreading, his knobby ones intertwining with hers, was so vivid it sent a shiver down her spine.

Her mouth went dry. Bleria tried to pull her hand away and escape, but he effortlessly turned his hand over, palm to palm, and pressed her against the armrest.

“I’m quite fond of you.”

Ah.

Bleria inhaled sharply. She doubted whether this moment, hearing words that felt sinful even to imagine, was reality. She had never even heard such words in her dreams.

Gopher continued.

“I wouldn’t call it love, but I’d like you to stay by my side. I don’t like the idea of you marrying someone else. That’s my honest feeling.”

“……“

“So, be honest with me too.”

He extended his free hand, tucking her fallen hair behind her ear and gently rubbing her earlobe with his thumb.

Bleria’s face burned as she pressed herself against the backrest, her body drawn taut. The position left her with no choice but to meet his eyes, and his narrowed gaze curved slightly.

“Tell me what you truly want, Bleria.”

What I truly want…

The immediate answer that sprang to mind was a surface-level wish.

She wanted to continue living as a noble under the guise of Bleria for the rest of her life. But was that all? No. There was something she couldn’t even dare to wish for, something almost impossible to conceive.

Don’t abandon me.

In truth, she didn’t want to leave. Whether Eos was real or fake, she wanted to remain here, pretending to know nothing.

She wanted to share joys and sorrows with him for a lifetime. To wake up each morning to his face, send him off as he left, welcome him home, eat meals at the same table, and carry coffee to his study when she missed him, pretending she had something to say. That was how she wanted to live.

She wanted to marry Gopher.

Do you like me? How wonderful it would be if those words carried the same weight as her feelings. How wonderful it would be if she could even dare to hope.

Only now did Bleria understand. Some wishes could only be spoken when one had given up all hope.

Having let go of even the slightest expectation, she could now bear the weight of her feelings. At last, her lips parted.

“You…”

Her voice trembled uncontrollably.

What do I look like now? Could I at least appear decent? If only I had put in more effort before coming here. If only I had known, I’d say something like this a little more.

“I want you to love me.”

If only she could tie up the dark, murky emotions at the end of her words and release them with her confession. But her feelings, rotting and tormenting her from within, were as unruly as their owner.

Bleria gasped for breath.

Unwilling to see Gopher’s expression, she lowered her head and closed her eyes. After a long silence, a chuckle reached her ears. It sounded satisfied, yet oddly awkward.

“I’ll try.”

A hand touched her cheek. The moment Bleria opened her eyes, their lips met.

The sensation of lips pressing and tongues intertwining was hot and dizzying. Though it wasn’t her first time, her eyes instinctively closed, and the subtle movements consumed her every sense.

The hand cradling her face slid downward. It brushed her ear and stroked her neck, finally reaching the buttons on her collar. The soft button pop startled Bleria, prompting her to pull away. But Gopher followed, his lips still pressed to hers.

Her head pressed against the sofa backrest, her body sinking deep into the cushions.

He gazed at her with narrowed eyes, his fingers toying with the buttons at her collar as if to ask, Should I stop?

Bleria met his gaze briefly before closing her eyes again.

It wasn’t until her heavy eyelids forced themselves open that Bleria realized she had fallen asleep. An unfamiliar room filled her vision.

It seemed to be a bedroom in the Allnight Estate.

Bleria tried to rise from the bed, but a dull ache stopped her. Taking a deep breath, she gripped the ornate headboard and slowly pushed herself up. Only then could she take in her surroundings.

Where is Gopher…

The spot beside her was empty, marked only by traces of someone who had been there. Her eyes moved to the side table, where two glass bottles rested. One was empty, but the other contained a pinkish liquid. A contraceptive.

She stared at the bottles. The liquid in one seemed to symbolize the presence or absence of love.

Gopher had said as much.

“I’m quite fond of you.”

“I wouldn’t call it love, but I’d like you to stay by my side.”

But what about in reality? With their wedding less than a month away, how was she supposed to interpret the actions of such a meticulous man?

You always give me hope.

Though she knew she shouldn’t, her lips curled into a faint smile. Bleria uncorked the bottle and swallowed its contents. The bitterness lingered.

As she stumbled to her feet, something caught her toes.

Bleria slowly picked up the sepia-toned stack of papers.

And then, you crush it with despair.

“Who is Bleria Heaven? The subject of rumors finally speaks out.

On [date], Eos Lichet requested the use of a sacred relic from the temple. Eos claimed to have fully regained childhood memories and insisted that her real name was Bleria Heaven. Verification seems inevitable to prevent any misunderstandings. They have requested a sacred relic to confirm lineage, and the temple has…”

She understood Gopher. She could foresee his conclusion. She could let go of her last lingering attachment.

That, at least, was a relief.

***

“You’re here, My Lady.”

Lucy greeted Bleria while cautiously gauging her reaction. Even when rumors had been swirling, Lucy had never shown a hint of discomfort, but it seemed the weight of this latest article was something else entirely.

Without a word, Bleria allowed Lucy to help her change. As Lucy moved to tie her hair neatly, she paused and then untied the ribbon again. Bleria realized what had caught her maid’s attention but didn’t feel embarrassed. Her heart remained calm.

Lucy finished her duties earlier than usual and quietly left the room. Once the door closed, Bleria ran her hand over her neck.

I don’t regret it.

Even if the explosive situation erupted, she was faithful to her emotions. Sometimes, only by reaching the end could one truly let go.

And now, with such an article circulating, there was no room for idle thoughts or wasted time.

Bleria went straight to her drawer. She opened the jewelry box and swept the items from the top layer into a velvet pouch. Her hand froze as she scattered the remaining jewels to cover the emptiness.

I thought I’d discarded this.

There lay Norma’s keepsake. The worn pearl ring stood out in a box filled with expensive items for an entirely different reason. Why hadn’t she noticed this ring the last time she rummaged through the jewelry box?

Perhaps it’s time to return to Mel Slopey.

After reading Dewey’s journal, meeting Baron Totten, and now finding Norma’s ring, it felt like a sign that her life as Bleria was nearing its conclusion.

She chuckled slightly before adding the modest keepsake to the pouch. At that moment, the door burst open.

“My Lady, I have something to tell you…”

Lucy, gripping the door handle, froze in place. Though she quickly lowered her gaze, the act proved that she had seen something.

Bleria asked, with surprising composure, “What is it?“

“I-I apologize, My Lady. I forgot to knock. A message came from Kanna’s boutique. The dress they planned to deliver tomorrow was delayed because they received some fine fabric. They’d like to know if pushing back the schedule by a few days is alright.“

“Tell them that’s fine.“

“Understood, My Lady.”

The maid bowed deeply and left the room.

Should I worry she might report what she saw? Should I return the jewels to their original place? After some deliberation, Bleria simply tightened the pouch’s drawstring.

If her escape plan was discovered, the location of a few jewels would hardly matter. She’d undoubtedly be placed under strict surveillance immediately.

Bleria hoped Lucy would take her time contemplating whether to report what she’d seen. But barely an hour later, Damian summoned her.

Standing in Damian Heaven’s office, Bleria prepared excuses about the jewels as she stepped inside. The man she hadn’t seen in some time looked utterly drained—so much so that one could believe he was ready for his coffin. He looked no less worn than when they had first met.

Come to think of it, he likely wasn’t at ease either. The duke had collapsed and recovered, and the rumors were deafening. Even though there was good news, he’d had to give up smoking because of it, leaving him no outlet for stress relief.

She had even ordered tea to help ease his nerves, but it would likely remain untouched in the kitchen. Thinking of the tea that would go to waste, Bleria sighed inwardly, realizing her effort had been pointless.

“You’ve seen the article, haven’t you?”

“Yes.“

“At least we won’t waste time explaining.”

Damian muttered with an expression that betrayed no joy. However, he didn’t appear angry at her either.

So Lucy didn’t say anything?

“The temple won’t hand over their holy relics. So, Heaven will be taking a firm stance. You’d better act accordingly.”