Epilogue (Part 3)

Anthus, always praised as an arrogant genius, was asking about ‘the feeling of wanting to see more,’ sounding just like a typical fifteen-year-old boy in love.

“Yan, are you saying you want to keep looking even when you’re already looking?”

“Yes.”

“Do you keep thinking about them? Before you sleep, in your dreams, and when you wake up?”

“Yes.”

Cloud, suppressing his surprise, continued slowly.

“Do you feel mentally troubled if they’re not around, and does your concentration drop, sometimes feeling like arrhythmia?”

Anthus widened his eyes in astonishment at Cloud’s accurate diagnosis.

“How did you know?”

“If you want a more accurate diagnosis, you should tell me about that person. Aren’t we close comrades despite the age difference?”

Cloud leaned slightly towards Anthus, showing a trustworthy smile. Anthus, thinking he might find relief from his various pains by understanding their cause, began telling Cloud about the symptoms caused by Yuliana.

“Do you know Lady Loengrin?”

“Of course. Isn’t she the daughter of Earl Loengrin who summons spirits? And also the daughter of Saint Rosaline.”

Cloud’s smile turned bittersweet. He was glad Anthus was interested in a woman, but thinking of Rosaline made him feel guilty.

“Yes. I thought it was fascinating to see a spirit summoner for the first time, but the more I see her, the stranger I feel.”

Cloud pursed his lips and listened intently.

Anthus, who always lived in his own brilliance, talking about a woman! It was a story Cloud couldn’t miss.

“My heart hurts. And I get irritated…”

“Do you feel depressed and nervous too?”

“Yes.”

“If it’s that severe, you might have stuttered in front of Lady Loengrin.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“But even if you’re annoyed, seeing Lady Loengrin calms your mind, right?”

“That’s also correct.”

“Just seeing or thinking about her makes her face appear like a vision in front of you, right?”

“Exactly.”

Anthus nodded repeatedly, looking at Cloud, who had guessed everything perfectly. The accuracy of his diagnosis sent shivers down his spine.

“You’re starting to scare me, Your Highness.”

Anthus nodded. It felt like Cloud could solve all the worries he had been agonizing over for days.

“Can this condition improve?”

“Unfortunately, you’ll continue to feel that pain every time you see Lady Loengrin… until the day you die!”

“What do you mean, Your Highness?”

Anthus, looking pale, desperately asked Cloud.

“Your Highness, it’s a serious situation. I can’t focus on anything. Is there no way to heal?”

“In fact, those symptoms are exactly the same as what I experienced.”

“What do you mean, Your Highness?”

“I feel that way every time I see Monica.”

“Suddenly mentioning Lady Monica, your lover…”

Anthus’s eyes began to widen.

“I used to think the unfamiliar feelings and fluttering were just arrhythmia.”

Cloud’s words were like a sudden thunderbolt, leaving Anthus blinking in shock.

“Later, when I realized it wasn’t arrhythmia but symptoms of lovesickness from loving Monica, the stifling feelings disappeared instantly. Just like a thick fog lifting before my eyes.”

Anthus pondered Cloud’s words to understand. Summarizing what Cloud said, it meant he loved Yuliana, and this pain would never end.

“Congratulations, Anthus Rockbellion.”

“What are you congratulating me for?”

“Of course, for starting your first love.”

Hearing Cloud’s confirmation, Anthus felt like his heart had dropped to the floor. He couldn’t accept that it was love. No, he didn’t even know what love felt like.

“Is it true that I’m experiencing first love? If I’ve started my first love, is there no way to end it?”

“Ending love?”

“Yes, I don’t want to.”

“If Lady Loengrin smiles brightly at you.”

Cloud spoke to the confused Anthus.

“You won’t be able to live without that bright smile.”

“I haven’t seen her smile at me yet, so maybe I can give up now.”

“First love doesn’t stop just because you don’t see them. Even if that person dies, you can never let go.”

“Maybe it’ll get better if I don’t see her?”

“Unless you cut out the memory entirely. In this world, there’s no one who can rationally explain the overwhelming desire to give everything just from looking at and hearing the voice of the one they love.”

Cloud explained to Anthus the moment he felt love for Monica.

“I heard she has a fiancé. Since then, the pain in my chest has worsened. It’s so painful even with painkillers.”

“It won’t help. I thought it was arrhythmia and took medicine, but it didn’t work.”

“Do I have to live with this pain forever?”

Cloud had never seen Anthus show such a variety of expressions before.

“What’s the problem?”

“Loving a woman who has a fiancé.”

“A fiancé forced upon her? What’s the problem? Is this the Yan I know? Are you going to let her be taken away like this, being scared?”

Cloud’s words made Anthus’s mind more complicated. No, he was tempted.

“What food does Lady Loengrin like? What tea does she like? What color does she like? What does she like? What does she dislike? As time goes on, Yan, you’ll become curious about everything about Lady Loengrin. That curiosity will drive you crazy and make you feel suffocated.”

“Is that your experience, Your Highness?”

Until now, Anthus had never cared about anyone else. But Cloud’s words seemed to cast a spell, making him really start to care and become curious about everything related to Yuliana.

“No. I can endure it. Thanks to you, Your Highness, I know the symptoms are from love, so I’ll overcome it.”

“Love isn’t something you overcome by fighting it. It’s a bigger pain if you act prideful.”

“Thank you for the advice, Your Highness.”

Anthus couldn’t accept retreating without even trying to endure love.

He couldn’t accept the word love either. Even if it was love, he thought he could overcome it by setting his mind and facing it. Anthus spent his days busily to avoid thinking about Yuliana.

He didn’t even look at the tent where Yuliana was. But that resolve didn’t last long. His mood was spiraling into the worst.

He planned tactics and won as usual. But strangely, instead of feeling a sense of achievement, he didn’t feel good at all. He felt like he was going crazy from missing Yuliana.

Every time he blinked, he saw Yuliana vividly in a panorama, and tears welled up before he fell asleep.

“What’s so special about love…”

Anthus had never shed tears for anyone in his life. But without crying, there was no way to soothe this frustrating, painful, and maddening feeling.

Cloud was right. These symptoms didn’t subside and continued to torment him. The only way to escape this agony and pain was to see Yuliana.

In his mind, Cloud’s voice saying, ‘What’s the problem? Take her’ and thoughts like ‘It’s a forced engagement, so it’s okay to force a breakup’ kept ringing. The thought that it might really be okay began to dominate his mind.

“Endure till the end, Anthus Rockbellion.”

Anthus, enduring without seeing Yuliana, began to lose the confidence that had always surged in him.

All day, the thirst to see Yuliana only grew more intense. It was so painful he wanted to pull out all his hair.

“He said, ‘to escape the pain, you have to see’…”

And he did.

Unable to endure any longer, Anthus deliberately injured his hand. Then he went to Yuliana’s tent. Just as Cloud said, the torment and pain disappeared like a lie as soon as he saw her.

His heart fluttered pleasantly.

Yuliana finished the treatment quickly as usual. Pressing his calm heart, Anthus left the tent feeling at ease. The heart pain that started again was worse than before seeing Yuliana.

On a night when Anthus’s stress reached its peak due to the daily battles and thoughts of Yuliana, Cloud came secretly.

“Did you come because you’re hungry again?”

“No.”

His atmosphere was quite different from usual. There was even a sense of solemnity.

“What happened, Your Highness?”

“My mother passed away.”

“The Empress passed away?”

“The noble faction will point to me as the one who killed her.”

Anthus frowned. Even if he asked coldly, Cloud had no reason to kill the Empress.

“I don’t have time to grieve, and I can’t just sit still anymore. I’m going to persuade Duke Rockbellion.”

“Are you planning to become Emperor?”

Cloud nodded.

“If you ascend the throne, Crown Prince Cloud, maybe Young Lord Beonar and Lady Yuliana, who were forced into engagement by Emperor Rezeph, will break off their engagement.”

“Do you finally admit that you’ve started your first love, as I said?”

Seeing Anthus speaking as if hoping for Yuliana and Beonar’s breakup, Cloud smiled and asked.

“Time flies too quickly when I see her. When I don’t see her, time drags on endlessly. I don’t know how to explain this feeling, but all I think about is wanting to see her. It was painful enough to make me cry.”

“So, have you made a plan?”

“When you say to make a plan, do you mean to help you, Your Highness?”

“I came to persuade Rockbellion. You’re included in that.”

“I can help as much as you need. But can you promise me one thing?”

“Speak.”

“I only want one thing. Yuliana Loengrin.”

“Alright. But I can’t guarantee that the engagement between the Fedeurus family and the Loengrin family will break off just because I become Emperor.”

“I understand.”

Anthus thought that if Rezeph disappeared, the imperial Loengrin family and the noble Fedeurus family would break off the engagement immediately.

“If they don’t break off the engagement, I’ll make efforts to ensure it happens.”

Anthus picked up the teacup, inhaling its aroma and smiling.