“I mean exactly what I said, Your Majesty. I sent someone to find the deposed Empress, but they haven’t returned for several days now. No word either.”

“……”

“I thought she would be with Count Cain, but that doesn’t seem to be the case either.”

The Empress Dowager, who had been looking at the silent Dade as if he were pathetic, soon stood up.

“How long do you intend to be like this? Don’t you feel sorry for Rachel who is by your side? Is this an emotion that can be hidden by hiding it?”

“Mother.”

“Ha. If you cannot love her, reject her coldly. That will hurt less.”

Dade bit his lip tightly, unable to either spit out or swallow his painful feelings.

‘I thought you were quite clever, but now I see you’re nothing but a fool.’

The Empress Dowager clicked her tongue.

“Do as you please. If you continue to leave the empress’s position vacant like this, soon this old mother will collapse from overwork. Either bring her back or appoint someone new.”

After speaking sternly, the Empress Dowager left the Main Palace.

As the Empress Dowager left, Dade covered his face with his hands.

* * *

“Lady Ilena! I really can’t believe you! Why are you like this, seriously!”

Azel rushed out and spoke to Nian, who was peeling apples. Having completely ignored Nian’s repeated requests to return, she continued to serve her, who was no longer an Empress or a noble.

“But what’s with these apples? We didn’t have them when we went shopping yesterday.”

“From next door. Mrs. Teril gave them to me. Though they look like this, they’re quite sweet apparently.”

“Hmm…… During pregnancy, you should only eat pretty things.”

Nian chuckled. Though she didn’t show it, she had become much more comfortable since Azel arrived. Thanks to Azel, who constantly chattered and followed her around, the always quiet house had become lively.

Finally, Nian lost to Azel again and gave up the kitchen, sitting at the table in front of the living room window. Looking at the potted plant placed beside the small window, she saw that an unknown plant had already grown quite a thick stem.

Though it was disappointing that it hadn’t formed buds yet, as expected, Nian thought of him, wondering what color it would be and what fragrance it would have.

One side of her heart ached, but that too was fine in its own way. Though he came to mind from time to time, it was fortunate that he was still beautiful.

It would continue to be so in the future. And me who was by his side. And us too.

Looking back, we were like a fleeting moment then, but perhaps that’s why we were even more beautiful. It was a love I couldn’t bring myself to speak of, but perhaps that’s why it was more sorrowful.

Your feelings, which I didn’t know then because you didn’t tell me, are conveyed more clearly here where they can never be heard.

Ah, so you did love me. With those blue eyes that looked at me, with that hot breath you blew into my ear, and with those warm lips that touched me, that’s how you loved me.

‘Me too, Your Majesty.’

Nian finally answered him who would never hear it.

“Empress. I’ve cut it as prettily as I could. Please eat it quickly.”

Azel held out an apple she had shaped with great care. Nian smiled faintly, gently stroked the leaf of the unknown plant, and then took the apple.

* * *

In a not-so-large but quite lively village.

Several years ago, there had been a big fire at the Baron’s mansion here.

The territory without an owner was temporarily annexed to the imperial palace, and normally someone else would receive the title and come down, but this place had been managed by temporary administrators for quite a long time.

A mansion was built there again.

This mansion, built larger and taller than before, was finally completed after several supplementary works, as the client seemed to be quite picky.

“How is it?”

Dade asked, feeling awkward like someone giving a gift.

“What do you think?”

Rachel asked back with a slight smile.

“Of course it’s perfect. Who built it?”

“Anyone would think Your Majesty carried the bricks yourself.”

“Hey, who selected each and every one of those bricks?”

“Of course you did.”

Dade chuckled, and Rachel laughed along. It had been a very long time since she had conversed with him like this. For a moment, she felt sad, but she hid it and continued to look around the mansion, holding his hand.

It seemed he had put in quite a lot of effort.

The spacing between the bricks was even and solid. It would never burn down again.

The walls surrounding the mansion were large and tall. Now no one would dare to trespass.

What had he prepared this large, tall mansion for?

Rachel smiled bitterly.

“Rachel.”

He who had stubbornly maintained silence finally spoke. Though she felt she knew what he would say without hearing it, Rachel answered with a smile despite the aching pain.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“I’m sorry.”

Rachel laughed as if sighing. After all, you were going to do this.

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

He finally confessed his true feelings, which he had always hesitated to admit. The truth she had heard with difficulty was, as expected, not hers.

“You’re finally telling me those words. Your Majesty.”

Rachel smiled.

Yes, she had already known. That he would eventually leave her.

That’s why she had asked him to rebuild the mansion. Thinking that if she had a place to return to, it might ease his guilt a little. Hoping he might fly to her more lightly.

The only reason she hadn’t spoken first was out of a final greed. Though she knew he painfully longed for his departed lover, she still wanted to be with him a little longer. She hoped he would endure that much…… at least.

All this time, she too had cried alone during the long, long nights, but still hoped to remain like this a little longer.

“I’m sorry.”

Yes, saying sorry means I’m sorry but I can’t turn back. They say first love never works out, and it seems that’s true.

Rachel smiled.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“……”

“Both love and heartbreak are my choices, my lot.”

Yes, even if he were a god rather than an Emperor, he couldn’t substitute for that. It was entirely her choice, her share.

My love, shining all the more because it was entirely mine—something I would never undo, even if I could go back. My heartbreak.

“How clumsy you are, both then and now. Our dear Emperor.”

“……”

“We shouldn’t have been like this from the beginning. We shouldn’t have.”

“Yes.”

No matter how beautiful a broken glass was, it could never be put back together. The more one tried to piece it together, the more the delicate fingers would be cut and pricked. Lingering attachment made one hold onto the glass pieces without letting go, even while bleeding.

Rachel continued to smile. Though her eyes soon filled with tears, she smiled regardless, concerned that Dade might worry as he left.

“What will you do now?”

“I’ll bring her back.”

Dade smiled in return.

As he still radiated light, Rachel closed her eyes as if dazzled. The tears that had gathered in her green eyes soon fell. Dade raised his hand and moistened it with those sorrowful tears.

Dade finally told her about the farewell he had been contemplating for a long time.

Though his apologetic feelings made him hesitate, for both him and Rachel, love was not something they could choose.

How wonderful it would have been if he could have loved Rachel again. How wonderful it would have been if she could have stopped loving Dade.

But human hearts, as always, don’t go as planned. Rather, they flow to unexpected places, thoroughly soaking the other person, while leaving nothing for themselves.

So he decided to coldly reject her because he couldn’t bring himself to love her. Because they said that would hurt less. All this time, he had acted uncharacteristically indecisively, making everyone unhappy.

When one must stab the heart with a knife, how could there be no blood? He had only hesitated because it was Rachel’s heart. Though his apologetic feelings were as vast as a mountain, he couldn’t stab his own heart instead.

Love was this selfish and ugly, and just as beautiful.

Dade embraced Rachel with a heart full of comfort.

Though tears still glistened in Rachel’s eyes, she smiled warmly in return.

‘Farewell, my love. Please don’t regret your departing steps, and go far, far away.’

And so he left Rachel.

She thought she had nothing more to lose, but after sending away even what little she had been holding onto, Rachel was once again left empty-handed.

Though she regretted her love that had left only dust behind, Rachel smiled and dusted off her empty hands.