When he visited the cabin out of some inexplicable yearning, he found only scattered dried herbs, as if she had left without tidying up. After about a week passed like this, Dade began to get angry.

He called his attendant in a low voice. Though reluctant, he wrote a note and gave orders, causing the attendant to look at him in surprise before hurriedly leaving the Main Palace.

* * *

“Em-Empress!”

Had she fallen into a light sleep? In a somewhat dazed state, Nian raised her head and sat up at the flustered voice. Azel, who had rushed in before Nian could grant permission, spoke with unusually excited tones.

“They sent this from the Main Palace! Empress!”

At Azel’s words, Nian’s expression noticeably hardened, but Azel didn’t notice and placed the note in her hand.

Though she didn’t want to check it at all, urged by the oblivious Azel, Nian sighed and carefully unfolded the note.

[Among your people, there is a sinner. Select them and present them tonight.]

A brief note without even a simple greeting. Her hand holding the note unconsciously tightened. She had hoped and prayed to just pass by like this, to be completely forgotten by him as one of many Ilenas.

Her futile wish, as always, was uprooted and lay trampled at his feet.

“I need to go to the herb garden today.”

Nian’s voice trembled precariously.

As the day faded, the night became more beautiful than daytime. Time flowed without the slightest error, contrary to Nian’s wishes, and amid the cruel passage of time, Nian walked along the path leading to the herb garden.

In the deep night, at the end of that quite desolate and quiet path, the cabin was already brightly lit even before its owner arrived.

At that sight, Nian’s steps grew even slower.

‘Now it’s my turn to decline, Dade.’

Though she neither knew nor wanted to know what his sudden appearance meant, he had said he was looking for a sinner, so he would likely punish her.

She just wanted to pay for her crime quickly and end this exhausting encounter with him. So she could return to her quiet, peaceful daily life again.

With her heart growing infinitely heavier and her steps even slower, she inevitably arrived in front of the cabin. Nian couldn’t bring herself to open the familiar door from which herb scents wafted, and after staring at it precariously for a long time, she finally opened it.

“You’re late.”

As soon as she entered the cabin, Dade spoke arrogantly, looking up at Nian while seated in a chair as if he were the owner.

Nian looked at him with a bored heart and slightly lowered her head. Then she closed her eyes slightly.

Creak.

With the sound of the wooden floor creaking, Dade stood up and strode toward Nian.

“You said you would gladly take responsibility, but it seems you got scared after all?”

Dade grabbed Nian’s chin and lifted it as she kept her head down, avoiding him. When Nian opened her eyes, he was looking down at her.

“It seems you’re not very pleased to see me this time either.”

Nian’s voice came out mixed with a sigh.

“What exactly is your reason for doing this?”

“Have you forgotten? If you thought I would just let it go if you pretended not to know, you’re mistaken.”

“Command me. I’ll pay for it.”

Nian was tired, feeling all of this was unnecessary.

“I quite like the herb scent. Do you remember saying you would gladly give me herbal tea if that’s all I wanted?”

“……”

Taking Nian’s silence as affirmation, Dade spoke somewhat playfully.

“I’m quite merciful, you know. I thought I’d forgive your wrongdoing with a cup of herbal tea every night.”

Dade looked at Nian with a smile in his eyes, like a child seeking praise. In fact, it was surprising that someone with his cold personality would forgive so simply.

He had forgiven her somewhat lightly, and partly desperately, worried that she might get scared and hide again.

Of course, she had also done something deserving of punishment.

Despite his extraordinary offer, the woman before him didn’t seem pleased at all, just staring with an expressionless face. She even slightly furrowed her brow when he said “every night.”

‘Tsk. Not even a speck of cuteness.’

Dade finally approached Nian, urging her answer.

“I thought you’d be grateful?”

“What if I refuse……”

One of Dade’s eyebrows twitched. His blue eyes suddenly became quite sharp.

“Well, I hadn’t thought about it because I didn’t expect you would dare refuse, but what do you think I would do?”

“……”

“Above all, even without the excuse of punishment, I have plenty of ways to see you every day.”

Dade cupped Nian’s cheek with one hand and caressed it. He stepped back, waiting for her answer.

“Now, the choice is yours, Ilena.”

Dade smiled dangerously.

“Asking me to choose when there’s no real choice, how merciful of you.”

“Well then, hurry and make me a cup of tea. I’ve been missing the aroma of herbs.”

Nian looked at Dade sitting in his chair with a tired face and eventually approached the brazier as he wished. Further argument would be pointless.

As he said, even if not for punishment, if he, the Emperor and master of the palace, came to visit every day, there would be no way to stop him.

Soon Nian served him fragrant tea. While Dade drank his tea, she tidied up the workbench that had become disorganized from being vacant for so long.

“How long have you been in the palace?”

“About 8 years.”

“Have you been in the Eastern Palace the whole time?”

“Yes.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

Nian answered his questions mechanically while keeping her hands busy. Dade opened his mouth again, grumbling a little at her monotone voice and extremely blunt attitude.

“Aren’t you curious about me?”

“Are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

“I’m asking if you always treat women so lightly.”

Nian’s tone was utterly calm, but the content of her words was quite impertinent. Dade once again responded with a smile.

“Well, I suppose I can’t resist when I’m curious.”

Indeed, among the women who entered the palace, which one could he not take as he pleased? Especially a mere maid. At Dade’s playful answer, Nian recalled a question she had always wanted to ask deep in her heart.

Perhaps because it was a doubt she had harbored for so long, the question she had only thought about unexpectedly came out of her mouth.

“Then, why are you so indifferent to the Empress?”

She was surprised by her own words that came out without thinking, but Nian didn’t take them back and anxiously waited for his answer.

Dade unusually took his time and sipped his tea. For a moment, a golden-haired woman came to his mind. That pitiful woman he had never spoken of to anyone. It wasn’t exactly a secret. He just never had the opportunity to speak about it.

“Because she killed my lover.”

“What do you mean?”

Nian was so surprised by his words that she almost dropped the teacup she was cleaning.

Killed? Who? Me?

“As soon as I told the Empress about her existence, which I had never told anyone about, she died. The Empress readily accepted breaking off our engagement in front of me, but that’s what she did. If she had said she couldn’t give up, we could have lived an ordinary and plausible life like any royal arranged marriage, but she pretended to be a benevolent woman to me while coveting the position of Empress. How detestable.”

Dade continued with a few more cursed words after that, but Nian couldn’t listen anymore. At first, she almost shouted “No” without thinking.

In reality, she had never once mentioned breaking off their engagement, nor was the position of Empress so desperate to her that she would kill someone for it. Rather, she had even felt fear in a corner of her heart.

How could someone like her have killed anyone? It was utterly absurd, but the more she listened to his words, the more she realized this wasn’t a misunderstanding that could be resolved with an explanation, so she couldn’t say anything.

At his words filled with conviction, Nian felt something inside her heart shatter into pieces. If only he had asked me once,

Ah, if only he had given me a chance to explain.

Perhaps she wouldn’t hate him this much.

Clang. Without realizing it, she gripped the teacup so tightly that her knuckles turned white, and eventually the cup cracked and broke.

She cut her index finger on the sharp edge, but Nian didn’t even notice. Rather, it was Dade who approached in surprise.

“You seem to lack caution.”

Dade lightly scolded Nian’s bleeding index finger, then took her hand and licked it with his tongue.

Nian, who had been staring blankly into space, finally looked at Dade. With a choked voice, she forced out words and asked him.

“Did you… ever confirm with the Empress?”

“?”

“Or did you have someone investigate it more thoroughly? If not… why didn’t you just banish the Empress? If you wanted her to waste away, you’ve half succeeded.”

Nian’s small, trembling voice grew louder with surging emotions and eventually became quite a shout. Dade initially looked at her with a puzzled face, which gradually hardened into coldness.

“That’s quite presumptuous meddling for loyalty to the Empress.”

Nian asked again with a still somewhat agitated voice.

“Just once…… In five years, couldn’t you have checked directly with the Empress just once?”

Dade answered as if it were obvious.

“If I had asked, would the Empress have told the truth? I don’t think so. I didn’t ask because I felt I might not be able to control myself and might strangle her neck if I saw her lying shamelessly with my own eyes. And I won’t ask in the future either.”

“……”

Ha, it’s all pointless.

‘No, perhaps it doesn’t matter anymore.’

Nian couldn’t respond further due to a sense of helplessness. She never imagined that was the reason. It was definitely a terrible twist of fate.

Dade stared a little longer at Nian’s precariously wavering eyes and then silently left the cottage.

He somewhat regretted unconsciously telling an old story he had never told anyone, unlike his usual self. She always made him do unexpected things.

After Dade left, Nian collapsed where she stood. How could she express her current feelings? Her heart felt like it would crumble at any moment, like a dried herb leaf.

You might be able to endure by blaming me for ages to come, but what can I endure with now?

Ah, Dade. I hate you.

In the end, Nian silently shed tears.