“Take it off. And don’t prepare any more in the future.”

Nian threw cold water on the excited Azel.

“Your Majesty……”

Azel called her with a resentful look. Nian lightly pressed her temple with her hand as another headache surged.

“That’s enough.”

At Nian’s voice, clearly showing signs of fatigue, Azel finally closed her mouth. With a dejected face and pouting lips, Azel spoke in a noticeably gloomy voice.

“The Empress Dowager was looking for you. She asked you to come to the West Palace as soon as you arrive.”

The Empress Dowager? What could it be?

“You’re telling me quite early.”

Nian hurriedly left her seat.

* * *

“Tomorrow, you say?”

“Yes, Empress. It’s been five years that I’ve waited, hoping for an heir from the body of the official wife.”

“……”

As much as rumors had been rampant, she had expected that a concubine would be brought in soon, but she hadn’t expected it to be decided so hastily. To think they would decide at tomorrow’s ball.

“Perhaps, do you resent it?”

At the Empress Dowager’s question, Nian hesitated for a moment before bowing her head in resignation. Even if she felt resentful or hurt, it would be useless anyway.

No one cared about her feelings, not even herself anymore.

“Do as you wish.”

“Then, I hope the Empress will also attend the ball tomorrow.”

At the Empress Dowager’s words, Nian looked at her weakly, as if she had no energy left to feel hurt.

“It’s a matter of pleasing His Majesty, not me. If it’s someone His Majesty chooses, I will gladly accept anyone, so please don’t worry about my feelings.”

Despite her wounded heart, Nian’s voice was infinitely calm. Seeing her like this, the Empress Dowager looked at Nian as if she were dumbfounded.

‘No wonder His Majesty keeps his distance, being so cold.’

Although she was a daughter-in-law not loved by her son, she had at least expected her to show jealousy as a woman. She had expected her to plead for a little more time, saying she would try harder.

But she answered as if it had nothing to do with her, or rather as if she had been waiting for it.

‘Gladly accept anyone’? It was truly exasperating.

Displeased with Nian’s reaction, the Empress Dowager spoke with a sterner face.

“This is about choosing a new member of the imperial family, so of course the lady of the house should participate. I will speak to His Majesty, so make sure to attend the ball tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

Finally, Nian answered as if she had lost.

Afterward, Nian silently endured the Empress Dowager’s familiar reproaches that continued endlessly, and only after a long while was she able to leave the room.

With an expressionless face, she stood up, bowed her head, and left the room. Nian almost stumbled and fell with a distant feeling, but she barely managed to hold on by putting strength into her toes.

She quickly left the West Palace without showing that she was about to collapse.

‘Cruel people.’

Her already empty heart, dry and without moisture, turned to ashes and scattered. Azel, who had been waiting outside, came trotting up and asked with an innocent expression.

“Your Majesty? Are you alright?”

Nian walked past Azel and trudged ahead. Azel called out to her again from behind, but she didn’t hear. This time too, Nian, who had finally resigned herself, quietly said to Azel, who was following with concern.

“I’ll attend the ball tomorrow, so could you prepare for me?”

“My goodness! Your Majesty, really? Oh, I’m so happy. Yes! I’ll make you look most beautiful. Ah! Look at me. Please go ahead. I’ll just gather some accessories from the dressing room!”

Azel was so happy that she didn’t notice Nian’s reddening eyes and hurriedly ran off. As soon as Azel was gone, Nian finally collapsed.

* * *

“Starting again, Mother.”

Dade let out a sigh-filled reproach toward the Empress Dowager who had come late at night and was again saying tiresome things. Having suffered from insomnia recently, he found it difficult to endure his mother’s nagging today of all days.

“So, Your Majesty. I plan to choose a concubine tomorrow.”

At the conversation flowing exactly like a set repertoire, Dade sighed. The word “concubine” briefly reminded him of Ilena, but he soon shook his head.

A person who suddenly appeared several times a day. Who visited like a fever in his dreams every night, making him sick all night, and then vanished hazily with the sun. A damnably beautiful person.

Even if he offered her not the position of a concubine but the Empress’s seat, that proud woman would refuse. Moreover, her black eyes that looked at him were always dry, without emotion, and bored.

Dade bit his lip and shook off his thoughts.

“Every year around this time, you come with useless suggestions. I’ll decline, so please go back and rest, Mother.”

At his irritable and annoyed response, the Empress Dowager displayed her anger and replied.

“Both the Empress and Your Majesty are so indifferent that I’m dying of frustration. Since the Empress has agreed, please don’t say anything more and follow along, Your Majesty.”

He didn’t understand what the Empress’s agreement had to do with anything, but hearing that, he scoffed.

As if that greedy woman would.

The Empress Dowager, who should have retreated by now, stared at him without moving. She seemed determined to stay up all night if he didn’t give the answer she wanted. Finally, Dade sighed in surrender.

“I’ll think about it, so please leave now.”

It wasn’t a complete affirmation, but at Dade’s words, the Empress Dowager finally left her seat.

* * *

The day of the ball dawned. From early morning, the palace servants were busy moving about. Nian had come early to the largest hall in the Main Palace where the ball would be held and was doing a final check.

After carefully inspecting everything with her eyes, Nian sighed, feeling exhausted.

The Empress’s duties were actually quite numerous and varied. This was because she personally oversaw all large and small social events that took place within the imperial family and even managed the imperial family’s household affairs.

Thanks to this, Nian had spent the past years busy during the day without time to feel lonely. Add to that working at the herb garden at night. And Nian had endured countless days without a moment’s rest.

Was that why she could endure it, or had she endured it despite that?

Unfortunately, contrary to Nian’s wishes, the ball preparations were proceeding without any problems. Nian anxiously watched the nobles’ carriages entering the palace one by one. Her eyes, which hadn’t slept a wink the night before, felt as if sand had gotten into them.

The headaches that had been continuously tormenting Nian since that day had now worsened as if they would devour her, and with the addition of flu-like symptoms, her body felt light and dazed.

“Your Majesty, you need to prepare now too.”

Azel pulled at Nian’s skirt. Nian felt like running away immediately if she could. She couldn’t even imagine his expression when he discovered her identity.

No, more than that, she didn’t know what expression she should make. Although she had dismissed it as not mattering, she was endlessly afraid that his hatred might increase.

When Nian hesitated and didn’t move, Azel, who didn’t understand and was excited, urged her.

“Your Majesty. You’ll be late at this rate.”

‘Right…… Let’s go. I must go.’

Nian moved her reluctant feet. Whether it was her poor condition or his blue eyes that made her tremble just thinking about them, there was no way to avoid it.

Nian resigned herself, as she was accustomed to doing.

Azel had prepared thoroughly, only letting Nian go when she was completely exhausted. At the end, she even tried to apply a deep color to her lips, but Nian didn’t allow that.

Although the deep rose color would have suited her fair skin well, Nian thought it would look too awkward on her.

Despite having finished preparations, Nian couldn’t bring herself to leave the East Palace and dawdled for a long time. Although Azel urged her anxiously, she couldn’t move, and it was only when the ball was almost over that she finally headed to the Main Palace.

And so, for the first time, she faced Dade as “Nian.”

Contrary to her worries and fears, he seemed surprised for a moment, but that was all. After a cold exchange of glances, he thoroughly ignored her.

As he always had.

It was customary for a lady’s first dance to be with her partner, but Dade didn’t even ask her to dance. Nian also sat beside him, calmly gazing only at what was in front of her.

Of course, despite this, all her nerves were directed toward him, and her heart sank with his slightest movement. It was surprising even to herself that she could maintain such a peaceful face while her heart was in turmoil.

She wasn’t foolish enough not to understand the feelings in his gaze when he looked at “Ilena” all this time. Regrettably, it was closer to burning desire than the warm affection she had hoped for.

Perhaps that’s why she had some expectations. Had she hoped that he would accept even someone like her?

‘After enduring for so long, how foolish.’

Nian smiled with a face that looked like she might cry.

Finally, Nian rose from her seat. Being next to him was suffocating as always, so she intended to go out to the terrace for some air.

At that moment,

“My goodness. Ile-, I mean, Empress, is that you?”

When Nian instinctively turned at the sound of her name, a familiar man approached with a broad smile.

“Cain?”