Chapter 22

Edward forbade Lirie from attending the banquet.

At his words, Lirie lowered her head, clearly wounded.

Whether she was holding back tears or not, the area around her eyes quickly flushed red.

Watching her like that irritated him again, but he didn’t let it show.

“If you go limping around and make a scene, you’ll just disgrace the dignity of Winderton.”

He spoke the words he’d only ever thought in his heart, hoping to make her give up.

He’d said it out of anger, too.

Even after that, Lirie continued to plead with him, but Edward refused to yield.

‘It feels like something is stuck inside me.’

After ending the conversation with her in his cold tone and leaving the bedroom, he couldn’t shake the tightness in his chest.

It was all the more uncomfortable because he couldn’t figure out the reason.

‘She’s the vulgar blood of Scarlett. That’s a fact I can’t deny.’

If not for the emperor and the Duke of Scarlett, Edward’s life would have been completely different.

The Winderton estate he was so proud of would never have been tainted by a Scarlett’s presence.

‘I would have married someone worthy of Winderton’s status.’

Just thinking about the future he’d lost sent his blood boiling all over again.

Raised with the love of the Duke of Scarlett, she could still shamelessly lie to his face—and even try to drug him—yet, here he was, thinking about her.

‘This is driving me insane.’

Edward irritably ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair, mussing it up.

Even when he attended the banquet alone, leaving Lirie behind at Winderton Manor, the suffocating feeling didn’t go away.

He was the guest of honor, yet he felt no joy.

Not even seeing Sasha again for the first time in a while stirred any emotion in him.

‘Sasha is the perfect business partner.’

That was exactly what Sasha was.

She knew Edward better than anyone and understood his actions and decisions.

That was why he kept her by his side—there was nothing more to it. If not for that, Sasha would’ve been no different from all the other young ladies.

“I wonder if her foot is all right…”

On the carriage ride home to Winderton Manor after the banquet, Edward muttered to himself.

When had it started, he wondered.

Without even realizing it, Edward had begun to worry about Lirie.

Of course, it wasn’t love.

That’s what Edward told himself.

‘There’s no way I’d ever care about that woman.’

Edward straightened his mind as he checked over the documents prepared in the carriage.

‘She’s a woman I’ll divorce soon anyway.’

Once the divorce was finalized, she’d vanish from his mind.

He was tired of seeing Lirie’s constantly tearful face, sick of hearing her shameless lies.

The champagne at the banquet had left him slightly tipsy, but his mind was still clear.

‘I need to move the divorce forward as soon as possible.’

Edward resolved.

***

Edward soon left for the provinces again on business—probably accompanied by Sasha as always.

But there was a bit of good news.

‘…I’ve finally decided.’

After so much deliberation, I had finally chosen the day I would die.

I would end my life the day Edward returned to Winderton after his work—so he would be the one to find me.

How strange, I thought.

Once I picked the date, my heart felt at peace.

It was as if I was already entering eternal rest; I even found myself smiling.

“The weather’s lovely today, isn’t it, Betty?”

“Yes, my lady. The weather really has been nice these days.”

Ever since I decided on my death, I spent most of my time perched by the window, gazing outside.

Strangely, Madam Eteil had stopped tormenting me.

Considering how furious she’d been about the garden, I’d expected her to come for me again, but Betty told me she hadn’t left her room.

‘Is God showing mercy at the end of my days?’

Not that I needed it.

Maybe it was just a faint relief—proof that I hadn’t been entirely abandoned by heaven.

“My lady! What do you want to do today?”

“Hm… Ah, right! Could you bring me some paper and a pen?”

At Betty’s question, I finally acted on the thought that crossed my mind.

‘Writing my will might not be such a bad idea.’

Of course, I had no intention of writing it the way Kion wanted.

With the paper and pen Betty brought, I calmly began to write my final letter.

“My lady, what are you writing?”

Betty peeked over curiously, tilting her head as she asked.

“Hm? A letter… I’m just writing a letter.”

I paused my writing for a moment.

Come to think of it, tomorrow was my mother’s memorial day.

No matter the circumstances, how could I have forgotten my mother’s memorial day?

I felt deeply ashamed.

Back when I lived at the Scarlett estate, I’d never once been able to observe my mother’s memorial day because of my father’s objections.

He never offered even the smallest gesture of respect for the woman who had borne him three children.

Of course, Kion would sometimes defy Father’s wishes and secretly honor her, but I never had the courage.

I needed my father’s permission just to leave my room, so even visiting her grave had always been out of the question.

‘I promised myself I’d visit Mother once I escaped Scarlett by marrying…’

But, swept away by my own suffering, I’d forgotten even the vows I’d once made.

“Maybe I’ll go, just this once—for the first and last time.”

I wanted to see my mother at least once and offer her my respects.

With my mind made up, I called for Betty.

“Betty.”

“Yes, my lady?”

“I’m going to visit my mother tomorrow. Please make the preparations.”

“You mean the late Duchess Scarlett? Now that I think about it… yes, tomorrow is her memorial day, isn’t it?”

Betty had never met my mother in person.

But having served the Scarlett family all her life, she knew my mother well.

“That’s right. It’s the first time I’ll be visiting her since she passed. I want to go looking my best.”

Betty nodded vigorously.

“Leave it to me, my lady!”

“Thank you, Betty.”

I was relieved that Edward was away from Winderton Manor.

‘Edward would hate the idea of me visiting my mother’s grave—he loathes anything Scarlett.’

Edward wouldn’t be home for at least another four days; business trips to the provinces were never brief, and the journey back to the capital would take time as well.

So tomorrow, I would visit my mother’s grave, and until Edward returned, I’d use the quiet time to sort out my chaotic thoughts.

‘If I spend the days like that, Edward will be back before I know it.’

***

The next morning, just after dawn.

With only Betty in tow, I slipped out of Winderton Manor.

After a brief ride to the outskirts of the capital, we arrived at the Scarlett family’s burial grounds.

“There’s no one here at all…”

The only people around were the caretakers.

No visitors.

‘Of course—Father always hated this place.’

As soon as I stepped out of the carriage, Betty and I both shivered, startled by the chilly wind sweeping across the lonely outskirts.

But compared to the bustling capital, this empty, silent place felt almost peaceful.

We walked deeper inside, and soon the Scarlett family crest came into view.

Everyone buried here was either a head or matron of the family, or a direct blood relative who’d died young.

My mother, Duchess Scarlett, was also buried here.

Even in the family grave, she was left alone—her children never came to visit.

‘Maybe my mother’s is the saddest grave of all.’

Betty and I made our way through the cemetery, stopping at last before one particular grave.

“So this is it… This is where Mother rests.”

On the headstone, beneath my mother’s name, was a single line of beautiful, simple prose.

“I’m here, Mother…”

Saying it out loud felt incredibly awkward.

Maybe it was because I’d never once visited my mother’s grave before; my every movement felt stiff and unnatural as I knelt down and placed a bouquet of white flowers before her tombstone.

“I’m sorry I’m only coming to see you now.”

My mother had died when I was still a child.

The fact that I’d only come to visit after deciding to end my own life made it hard to even look straight at her headstone.

If she had still been alive, maybe—just maybe—there would have been someone in the Scarlett estate who truly cherished me.

“Did the late Duchess really care for you, my lady?”

“…She did. Even if it was only for a brief moment in my childhood, in my memories, my mother always loved me.”

Even now, when I closed my eyes, I felt as if I could still hear her gentle, affectionate voice, and see the faint image of her kind face.