Chapter 12: The Masquerade Ball(2)

“Alicia, come quickly.”

There she was.

“Abigail, have you been well?”

She tucked the golden strands that brushed her shoulder behind her ear, smiling brightly.

“I’ve been busy, thanks to you. I’ve decided to establish a welfare institution for the poor.”

A welfare institution for the poor? Back when I was the Saintess, the prince’s policy for aiding the poor was to provide financial support.

“…Not just financial support, but an actual welfare institution?” 

At my words, Abigail’s smile stiffened slightly.

“Yes, Father Revencio stormed into the palace, insisting that an institution should be established in my name. It was quite a scene.”

A welfare institution named after Abigail—it was thrilling just to think about it. Though in reality, it would just be another institution under the control of the Central Church.

“…But what’s this about financial support?”

I was momentarily at a loss for words at Abigail’s question. As I hesitated, she broke the brief silence and continued speaking.

“It’s really strange. The Crown Prince said something similar. He mentioned that instead of incurring massive costs to establish a welfare institution, it might be better to distribute the funds as support payments,” Abigail said.

I couldn’t come up with a fitting response to her words.

“…Licia, the more I get to know you, the more mysterious you become.”

I forced a smile and quickly changed the subject.

“…How is the Crown Prince doing?” I asked for the first time.

Abigail’s eyes curved into a crescent shape as she replied.

“He’s doing well, I suppose. But he growls at me whenever we meet, so I’ve been keeping my distance.”

I recalled Victor’s face from under the collapsed bridge. The Victor who, before the appearance of the dark-haired Saintess, should have been endlessly devoted to the Saintess, but instead wore a cold, bitter smile.

“He must be displeased that I didn’t immediately become the Crown Princess. But I guess it’s better than pretending to be overly sweet.”

The idea that Victor didn’t love the Saintess—it was a notion I had never considered, one that I found hard to imagine. Whether the Saintess had golden hair or black, Victor had always been willing to devote his life to the woman who would make him the Emperor of the Empire.

“Oh, are you coming to the masquerade ball next week, Alicia?”

The masquerade ball. Her voice made me recall the invitation hidden away in a drawer that I had almost forgotten about.

“I did receive an invitation, but since I’ve become a nun, I don’t plan on stepping back into society anymore.”

“It will definitely be fun. Aren’t you tired of secretly meeting on the terrace to talk? If we wear masks, we can talk as much as we want.”

Abigail clasped my hand with an excited voice.

“You came to the coming-of-age ceremony that day, remember? You have no idea how comforting the words you said to me on the terrace were. So please come to the masquerade ball.”

Despite her earnest plea, I could only manage an awkward smile.

Even after her long persuasion, I couldn’t bring myself to give a positive response, and Abigail’s eyes narrowed sharply.

“Perhaps if you come to the ball, you’ll see for yourself… whether it’s the crown prince or the first prince who finds me first…”

Was she still holding on to the words I had said about making the first prince the emperor?

To think she would use the names of the crown prince and the first prince to weigh her options. I couldn’t decide whether to call it clever or cunning.

* * *

“What wind blew in today to make him act like this…?”

Father Edwin had come in carrying party decorations that looked like they belonged at a fair. Outdated glittering garlands, and utterly shabby artificial flowers—there was no telling where he had even managed to find such things.

“Father Edwin, where did you get all of this?” 

I took a step closer and asked, and he replied with a nonchalant expression.

“I borrowed them from the storage rooms of some church members who run shops. They might look shabby, but if you dig through, you’ll find some decent ones.”

His long breath swept over the dusty box. As he blew on it, the thick layer of dust scattered like mist.

“We’ll bake a big cake, roast a turkey, and serve it all.”

He silently began wiping the dusty decorations with a cloth. I sat down beside him and started cleaning the decorations too.

“…Are you really planning to throw a party?” 

I had thought he was joking. Of course, I knew he wasn’t the type to joke around.

“A party or a ball doesn’t have to be extravagant. If there are people, food, and drinks, isn’t that a party?” 

“…Are you planning to serve alcohol as well?”

According to the doctrine, the only alcohol clergy were allowed to drink was white wine made from the first harvest of grapes in that year. For the amount needed to serve all the clergy at the monastery, even a year’s worth of funding might not suffice.

“Homemade special lemonade will do just fine.”

Father Edwin’s special homemade lemonade? Somehow, it seemed like it would taste overwhelmingly sour.

“If you’re curious, I’ll give you a special chance to taste it before the party.”

He raised his chin confidently, seeming somewhat excited about the preparations. It made me hesitant to hand him the outing request form I had been hiding behind my back.

“…Um, Father.”

“What is it, Sister Alicia?”

His curt response made me cautiously extend the outing request form toward him.

“It’ll only take a few hours. I’ll be back quickly, so there won’t be anything to worry about.”

The hands that had been busily cleaning the party decorations suddenly stilled.

“…My advice didn’t seem to help.”

“You were right, Father. As a nun of the monastery, I shouldn’t be involved with those people anymore… So, just for a moment, it will be quick.”

Unable to bear Father Edwin’s cold gaze, I lowered my head as I spoke. All I did was hand over a simple outing request, but it felt as if I had committed a grave sin, making my heart tremble.

“…Is it not allowed?”

I cautiously sought his approval, glancing up at him. A trace of sorrow flickered in his icy golden eyes.

“You don’t need to ask for my permission. According to the rules, a member of the clergy in the monastery is allowed one outing per month.”

Despite his blunt tone, his expression was bitter as he took the outing request form from my hand.

“Oh, where do you plan to hang this?”

Trying to break the gloomy atmosphere, I picked up a garland from the box. The garland was colorful, though slightly garish in appearance.

“Wouldn’t it look nice wrapped around the World Tree? Don’t you think so, Father?”

“…Alicia.”

He murmured my name. Amidst the bustling afternoon in the monastery, his voice was the only sound that seemed clear.

“Let me say this one last time: I don’t want you to go to the masquerade ball.”

In the fleeting silence that lingered on his lips, I could sense a myriad of emotions passing through.

“Being at the palace will only bring back bad memories. If you end up facing the Crown Prince again, and act recklessly like last time, who will stop you?”

“…Reckless behavior?”

“Yes, like throwing yourself into the fountain as if your life depended on it, or sitting there dazed in front of the Crown Prince… If I’m not there, who will stop you?”

Despite the sharp, cold tone in his voice, there was a hint of tenderness.

“Father, thank you for always worrying about me.”

I fumbled with the garland, unable to continue speaking right away. After a moment of hesitation, I finally lifted my gaze and spoke again.

“…But even if there’s no one by my side to watch over me, I can manage on my own.”

It would have been better if I had just agreed with him. If I had chosen to skip the masquerade ball and simply enjoyed a quiet party at the monastery.

“…Ha.”

A hollow chuckle escaped his lips. Though I had spoken boldly, I couldn’t muster the courage to meet his gaze, so I fled the scene.

Back in my room, I took out a blank sheet of paper to calm my restless mind. I didn’t forget to bring out the quill and ink that Father had given me as a birthday present.

‘Father, how have you been? I truly appreciate you sending the carriage to the monastery last time. Thanks to that, I was able to complete the relief work without much difficulty.‘

Each time I tried to continue writing the letter, Father Edwin’s voice kept echoing in my mind.

‘Let me say this one last time: I don’t want you to go to the masquerade ball.’

Why was I feeling so anxious, as if I had stolen something I shouldn’t have?

‘The reason I’m writing this letter is to ask for a dress and a mask that won’t stand out too much for the masquerade ball. I’ll stop by the estate before the party begins. Thank you in advance.‘

Even after finally placing the period, the anxiety that tightened my chest showed no signs of fading.

* * *

“I’ll be back before it’s too late. I should be able to return by the end of the party.”

With the sisters seeing me off, I stepped outside the monastery. Ever since I handed in the leave request, Father Edwin had been avoiding me quite blatantly.

Even when I tried to continue our conversations naturally, making eye contact as usual, he would just turn away indifferently.

‘Let me say this one last time: I don’t want you to go to the masquerade ball.’

Should I have answered gently, so as not to hurt him, when he offered his advice? No, sometimes it’s better to be clear. Lately, he’s been overly protective, almost like a father.

As I breathed in the fresh air outside the monastery, I looked around.

“Miss, I’ve been waiting for you.”

Butler Brian had come to meet me in front of the monastery.

“…Thank you for coming to get me.”

I offered a curt thank you and got into the carriage.

“Next time, please wait for me at the shop near the monastery. It’s not exactly pleasant for the congregation to see me, a nun, boarding the duke’s carriage in my habit.”

When the Bridge of Salvation collapsed, borrowing the carriage had already led to rumors among the local merchants that a wealthy noble was sponsoring the Archelio Monastery.

Rumors tend to be embellished to suit people’s tastes. I didn’t want filthy gossip tarnishing the reputation of either the monastery or the duke’s family.

“Yes, I’ll do as you wish,” Brian replied.

I gazed out the window, lost in thought as the carriage rattled along.

“It feels like it’s been a while since I last saw you.”

I lifted my head at the sound of Brian’s voice, which had grown noticeably weaker.

“A while? What do you mean?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you truly be yourself, Miss. When you visited the duke’s estate last time, you acted so unlike yourself, almost like a mischievous child, that it caught me off guard.”

Should I have been pleased by Brian’s comment? What exactly does it mean to be “myself”? Quietly, I sifted through my memories of the past.

Yes, there were plenty of ways to describe me. For instance, being shy, indifferent to most things, or being so reserved that people often called me rude.

“…If an old man’s words have caused offense, I apologize.”

Brian apologized when I remained silent, lost in thought, my lips pressed together.

“There’s no need to apologize.”

I gave a curt response, then turned my gaze back out the window. What was certain was that a lot had happened since I last saw him.

The unstoppable grief of Sarah’s death, the conflict with Abigail, and the inevitable meeting with Victor.