“How could I do such things?”

“Even if he passed away, the fact that I was sold as collateral hasn’t changed.”

“I didn’t want to be like him.”

There was force in Jürgen’s voice as he said this. If it were a lie made up for convenience, he could never speak with such a voice.

“You wouldn’t want that either, would you?”

“That’s why I don’t hate you.”

“But just for such a reason……”

“I told you. I was in a situation where I couldn’t even expect that level of treatment.”

Jürgen closed his mouth. Facing him, who still seemed unconvinced, Diez continued,

“My life changed a lot after you came.”

“……”

“That’s why I ran out even knowing it was pouring rain. I was worried. Afraid that if something happened to you, I would return to my previous life…… Afraid of what hell I would fall into if the person I depended on disappeared.”

The person I depend on. Frozen at such an expression, Jürgen clenched his interlocked hands. He felt unbearably pained yet simultaneously numb.

“You hold my life in your hands. I thought I was fortunate that a kind person inherited me.”

“……”

“I don’t want to lose the hope I’ve barely grasped. I will never do anything to trouble you…… Please don’t be cold to me. I’ll live quietly, so please don’t throw me out. Please……”

Sensing something was wrong, Jürgen belatedly turned his head. Diez was crying, her face flushed with emotion. His heart seemed to sink, yet he hurriedly reached out to wipe away her tears.

“Don’t cry.”

Even in this situation, Diez was worried that he would find her tears unpleasant. That fact pushed Jürgen’s soul toward the abyss.

“I have no intention of throwing you out. I’ll provide the mansion for you until you ask to leave, so don’t worry.”

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

“You have no reason to apologize. Rather, I……”

I’m sorry for saying hurtful things and being cold to you. The apology that should have been conveyed rose to the tip of his tongue, but Jürgen couldn’t bring himself to say it.

The sins I’ve committed against you aren’t just those things.

I stroked my c*ck while calling your name, and imagined doing the same things as my father while picturing your face.

Even though your life was barely hanging by my fingertips.

Nausea rose from self-loathing.

“……Please calm down now and go back to sleep. I think I’ve heard enough.”

Diez, who had barely swallowed her tears, nodded and curled up again, wrapped in her blanket. The only thing Jürgen could do was leave her bedroom. Hoping that she would be able to fall asleep safely.

He left the bedroom without even saying goodnight. Crossing the darkened hallway to return to his room, Jürgen couldn’t bring himself to do anything. Far from lying in bed, he felt like strangling himself.

He picked up a silver case that had been left in the corner of the table. Inside were several cigarettes that the servants always kept freshly stocked.

He had meant to tell them to remove them since he had no intention of touching cigarettes.

Jürgen took out one and lit it. But it wasn’t to smoke.

He burned his forearm with the glowing red tip of the cigarette. Even as he gritted his teeth at the pain of his flesh burning, he simply couldn’t stop.

He found himself so disgusting that he couldn’t bear it.

* * *

When morning came, a servant soon reported to him.

“Fortunately, the high fever has subsided.”

Jürgen, sitting with his usual neat appearance, nodded as he always did. Seated at the tea table, he had returned to being the authoritative Duke Klaus of usual.

Although his complexion had deteriorated compared to before, there was no servant in the mansion bold enough to mention that fact.

“Should we continue to call the doctor?”

“Until Miss Schleicher is completely recovered.”

“Understood, Your Grace.”

The servant didn’t linger by his side. Left alone again, Jürgen stared blankly at the teacup in front of him with thoughtful eyes.

He didn’t dare visit Diez. In fact, it was somewhat comforting to know that she would be confined to bed for a while. At least there would be no chance of unexpectedly running into her in the mansion.

He couldn’t possibly act natural in front of her.

It was giving him a headache, not knowing what to say to her or even what expression to show.

Being cold to Diez was the easiest option available to him. But after her tearful plea last night, he couldn’t bring himself to do that anymore.

“Damn it.”

The more he thought about it, the more complicated everything became. It had been a long time since he lost the luxury of enjoying teatime.

Rising from his seat and stepping outside, Jürgen briefly told a servant who was waiting nearby,

“I’m going to the company, so tell them to prepare.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

He knew that nothing would be resolved by fleeing the mansion.

But staying here would be just the same.

At least outside the mansion, he could escape the unpleasant illusion of his dead father’s gaze clinging to him.

* * *

Diez blinked her eyes in a half-dazed state. The first thing that caught her attention was the sweet sound of chamber music. As she listened to the music, her surroundings gradually became clearer.

She was standing at the edge of a familiar hall. It was strange. Surely she had been sick and lying in bed……

That wasn’t all. Well-dressed people filled the hall, engaged in conversation with one another. Diez also noticed that instead of her sweat-soaked nightclothes, a beautiful dress wrapped around her body.

As if she had returned to those happy times, when she knew nothing of pain and sorrow.

Is this a dream?

Just as that thought occurred to her, a lady nearby approached and spoke to her.

“What are you thinking about so deeply? Miss Schleicher.”

Diez’s eyes widened as she immediately recognized the lady with flowing red hair. She was a friend with whom Diez had been quite close when she was a young lady.

“Bernadette.”

Now Diez could be certain. I’m having a good dream right now. The moment she fully realized this was a dream, Diez unconsciously forgot everything else.

Instantly returning to her former self as a young lady, she responded in a casual tone.

“I’m not thinking about anything. Just taking a moment alone.”

“That’s why I’m asking why you’re standing here so awkwardly. If you act like this, what are the real ‘wallflowers’ supposed to do?”

“Don’t say that.”

Undeterred by the scolding, Bernadette handed Diez a glass of drink. Though the sweet aroma was tempting, Diez felt something suspicious, sniffed the glass, and asked,

“Is it okay for me to drink this?”

“Surely you don’t think I’d give you a poisoned glass?”

“It’s not that, but it smells like alcohol……”

“What’s wrong with alcohol? They’ve provided it for everyone to drink. We can’t be exceptions, can we?”

Diez watched Bernadette sip the sweet drink, then said,

“I can’t drink this.”

“Why?”

“Father told me not to touch alcohol until I become an adult.”

“Everyone calls us ladies already.”

“We’re only sixteen!”

“I don’t know about you, but I think I’m no different from adults. Look, there’s no problem with drinking. I’ve already had three sips and I’m fine.”

“Still……”

“Some girls already have their marriage partners decided, yet your father won’t even let you have a glass of wine. He’s quite strict.”

Eventually, Bernadette took back Diez’s glass and burst into giggles.

“My father wishes he had a daughter like you. Will you marry whoever your father chooses for you?”

Momentarily speechless at a question she had never considered before, Diez answered,

“There’s no particular reason to marry anyone else.”

“What if you don’t like the groom your father chooses?”

“He would make a wiser choice than if I were to choose my own marriage partner. Father’s choices have never been wrong.”

“But it seems unfair to marry someone you don’t care for. You might find someone else you like.”

“I don’t have such a person yet.”

After a brief silence, Bernadette suddenly whispered in Diez’s ear.

“Do you know something? The young duke has been glancing your way repeatedly.”

What young duke……? Diez thought, meeting Bernadette’s gaze questioningly. Bernadette then discreetly indicated a direction with her eyes, trying not to be too obvious.

“Young Duke Klaus. He definitely seems interested in you.”

Diez turned her head in the direction Bernadette had indicated. Finding the young duke was easy. Standing alone, separated from the other nobles, he was looking somewhere with thoughtful eyes.

She too had heard much about Young Duke Klaus. The man who would inherit the dukedom in time. Surprisingly, despite his natural good looks and guaranteed future, he reportedly had no marriage prospects yet.

Such stories had reached Diez’s ears, but she had never found them particularly enticing. Perhaps because she hadn’t yet taken marriage seriously.

Jürgen Klaus was, to use a metaphor, like a burning sunset. One might be momentarily captivated by his radiant glow and beauty, but would soon forget after turning away. Diez felt this way, regardless of what other girls might think.

“Why would the young duke be interested in me?”

“Are you saying that because you genuinely don’t know, or are you determined to tease me?”

“You must be mistaken.”

“It’s true. He’s been glancing at you occasionally. Standing alone over there as if telling everyone to stay away.”

Bernadette didn’t seem to be lying. Although Diez had never harbored personal feelings for Jürgen, she became curious whether her friend’s words were true and looked towards him again.

Young Duke Klaus’s blue eyes met hers. Startled and frozen, Diez saw his gaze waver before he revealed a clear emotion. Displeasure.

With a sharp, disconcertingly intense look, the young duke soon disappeared into the shadows.

He doesn’t seem to like me very much.