* * *

“Lily, a man is not defined by his appearance.”

Lily’s gaze turned towards me as I spoke, sitting at the table after taking a bath. I twirled the pen in my hand and continued talking.

“Being well-mannered and kind-hearted is what matters most for a man. Especially when it comes to a potential spouse.”

It seems like women in this world, in general, have no eye for men. What’s so good about that rude and uncouth Diart that like Roeni and Adelia likes so much?

Seeing innocent Lily, I worried that she might meet a man with a beastly nature and suffer. Don’t become like me in the future.

“Good-looking and eloquent men are like attractive cookies. They’re made of the same ingredients and essentially the same cookies, just more expensive. It’s better to have men who may not be good-looking but have genuine character. You should definitely marry someone like that in the future.”

After a moment of contemplating my words mixed with a sigh, Lily spoke up.

“But, ma’am, wouldn’t good-looking cookies also taste good?”

“Yeah?”

“People say that we eat food with our eyes first. That’s why we use pretty dishes and decorations.”

“That’s true.”

“My grandmother used to say if someone is good-looking, they have value, but if someone is ugly, they are worthless. Even if you do the same things, it’s easier to be forgiven if you’re good-looking, right? I’d like to meet a handsome man, even if their personality is a bit quirky.”

Lily giggled like a well-behaved maltese dog. I stayed silent for a moment, then asked slowly.

“What about someone like Diart, then?”

Lily’s hand, which was serving tea with a smile, paused slightly before resuming its movements. After briefly considering her words, Lily finally turned the conversation around.

“Who are you writing the letter to?”

Lily glanced at me with an unfamiliar expression as I held the pen.

‘That’s right, you’re not going to live like me.’

As I looked at Lily, who suddenly looked like a broken record, I lowered my gaze to the blank piece of paper that hadn’t been written on yet.

“My father.”

“If it’s the Madam’s father, it’s Duke Feischer, right?”

“Yeah.”

I had planned to send a letter asking for permission to divorce Diart. But I had no idea how to start, so I hadn’t written a single letter since earlier.

‘I should have written a letter to my family.’

I quickly shook my head to dispel thoughts of my family from my previous life, who were essentially my enemies.

‘Did Roeni have a good relationship with her family?’

I didn’t have much interest in Roeni in the first place, so nothing came to mind. Lily was a member of the Wheaton family, so she probably wouldn’t know much either…

Finally, after contemplating, I moved the pen.

[Dear Father.]

Most of Roeni’s story in the original work was mostly related to Diart and didn’t have much significance. A mere extra who dies in the beginning wouldn’t been given a complex background story, so I should be able to send a simple letter.

‘But how should I do it normally?’

I chewed on the pen thoughtfully. Then, suddenly, I became curious about Diart’s family relationship.

Based on my long experience as a reader, male protagonists in such novels usually had at least one emotional scar.

Helping to uplift and overcome that would be the responsibility of the female leads, but now it wasn’t a bad idea for me to dig into that weak spot and try to improve my relationship with Diart.

“Lily, father and mother, what were they like?”

Isn’t the eternal cliché the secret of your birth? That you were actually raised by your stepfather or stepmother, ignored and abused…….

“They were really wonderful people. They were also very good at drinking alcohol.”

“By any chance, were they remarried?”

“What?”

Lily’s eyes widened. It was an expression that seemed to ask what I was saying.

“No, a few days ago, my friend received a letter saying that her stepfather had a hidden child, and it turned the household upside down. I just thought of that and asked.”

I explained to Lily, feeling the need to justify my question. Her strange look made me feel uncomfortable and suspicious, as if she knew something about my secret friend. I quickly averted my gaze.

“That couldn’t happen. The lord is still looking for the late mistress’s grave every day.”

“I see…”

“That’s very strange.”

Lily furrowed her gentle forehead slightly.

“Well, what’s wrong?”

“You know more about them than I do. You’ve been coming to the Duke’s house even before I was born.”

“Well… Lily, I’m only telling you this, so keep it a secret. I actually… lost my memories.”

“What?!”

“A few days ago, I slipped in the hallway and hit my head on a statue, and since then, my memory has been fading away intermittently. Do you know the horse head statue in front of the room?”

“Ma-Ma’am!”

Oh my goodness! Lily was shocked that she covered her mouth with both hands. I couldn’t let it pass as a mere excuse, so I blurted out whatever came to mind, and it seemed to work well. Looking into her innocent eyes, I felt a twinge of guilt, but there was no other choice.

“I’ll call a doctor right away!”

“No! No, Lily! I’m fine.”

“But…”

Lily’s eyes wavered as if she could burst into tears at any moment. It was as if she had heard that I was seriously ill.

“Don’t worry, aside from some memory loss, I’m perfectly fine. But as I mentioned earlier, can we keep this a secret? I don’t want others to know about my weakness.”

“Yes. I’ll do as you say, madam. I won’t tell anyone, absolutely.”

Lily nodded her head with a sniffle.

“You’re not really hurt somewhere else, are you?”

“No, I’m perfectly fine.”

“You’ll recover your memory soon. I’ll do my best to help you. Ask me anything.”

Lily thumped her chest with a clenched fist as if to say, ‘Trust me.’

“Okay, I’ll trust you too. Then, Lily, did Diart ever… um, I mean… suffer a lot from his parents when he was young?”

Unable to ask directly if there was outright abuse, I skirted around the question. But the perceptive Lily understood immediately.

“Although the master was a bit strict, nothing like that happened. The mistress also adored the duke. My mother always says they were the ideal family, she will always be missed.”

“I see….”

Then why is his personality so twisted? By now, I’m really curious.

“Perhaps his relationships with fellow students at the academy weren’t harmonious? For example, maybe he was bullied…”

“Madam.”

“Yes?”

“Does Master look like the kind of person who gets bullied?”

“Ah…”

Yeah, I guess it’s unlikely that a twenty-four-year-old war veteran who achieved a duke’s status solely based on his abilities would have been beaten up by anyone. Ah, right, the war!

“Then does Diart sleep well at night?”

Could it be that he’s suffering from war-related trauma…

“Yes. He goes to bed on time every day.”

“Is that so? It’s a relief that he sleeps well…”

Well, if that crazy guy is suffering from trauma, it would be even worse.

“Ah, right. What about the girl he liked? Is she no longer around?”

Well, they say that men have a nostalgic memory of their unfulfilled first love.

“Madam is here, so there can’t possibly be another woman in Master’s life. Madam… um, I mean…”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to say it.”

Lily’s expression visibly relaxed.

Well, with me, no, no, with Roeni watching intently, there would never have been a chance for Diart to have another woman.

Growing up in an ideal household, having (presumably) harmonious relationships, no trauma from the war, and no first love. Diart’s life was smooth sailing without obstacles. What a fortunate guy.

Is that arrogance innate?

‘Ah, I don’t know. Let’s just write a letter.’

I looked down at the letter paper and then quickly turned my gaze back to Lily.

“How is the relationship between my household and the Wheaton family? I mean, between my father and his father.”

I asked, wondering if the reason Diart destroyed the Feischer family is due to discord between the two families.

“They have been close friends for a long time. I heard they still meet each other often.”

“So, is Diart on good terms with my family?”

“Well… The master hasn’t had much interaction with your family for a long time.”

So, it seems that there have been no major issues between the two families so far. It seems likely that the one pulling the strings is Duke Wheaton, who is also my father.

After a moment of contemplation, I began to write the letter.

* * *

Now I was crawling through the grass, feeling like a crocodile crossing a swamp.

“Ah!”

In response to Lily’s small scream behind me, I quickly turned my head and pressed a finger to my lips. Shh!

“Do we really have to go this far, ma’am?”

Lily wiped the mud off her cheeks with teary eyes.

“So I told you not to follow.”

“But I’m worried that Madam will get lost again and come back in a mess like yesterday.”

“Lily…”

“But why are you hiding and sneaking around like this?”

“Well, I don’t want to be caught by Diart.”

“Why?!”

Lily tilted her head, as if she didn’t understand. After all, it would seem strange to suddenly do this secretly, especially when I had been openly stalking him.

But I wasn’t chasing after Diart right now. My goal was the Knights of Wheaton.

I thought about it all night, and I couldn’t just trust Diart. There’s a thing called an emergency room in hospitals for when you need urgent care, so I had to have some contingency plan in case of an emergency.

When I saw Diart’s behavior yesterday, I felt like he wouldn’t even give a finger, let alone a toe, until the relationship gets a little worse.

‘It would seem crazy to just grab any man and ask him to hold my hand. And it’s too embarrassing to cheat on someone.’

So, the only ones left were the servants in the mansion. They occasionally had the task of escorting, so I thought I would seize that opportunity.

Especially the Knights of Wheaton! They always gathered in the training field, so it’s perfect to run to them in case of emergency.

I was going to search for them and go see them, but I ran into Diart. If I went to the training ground, he would surely think I came to find him, and that would definitely have a negative impact on our relationship.

So, I was currently sneaking around like this.

“He’ll hate it if I go to find him.”

Lily’s eyes were saying, ‘What now?’

“I don’t want to do anything that Diart would dislike from now on.”

“But won’t he also dislike you sneaking like this?”

Lily asked cautiously.

“That’s why I have to be careful not to get caught.”

I shrugged my shoulders. Will you help?

“Yes. I’ll be careful.”

Lily had a puzzled look on her face, but she nodded obediently.

Turning my head, I used my hands to push aside the bushes that obstructed my view and crawled forward diligently. Soon enough, I reached my destination.