***

Hailla stood in front of the worn wooden door for a long time. The grain of the wood was barely visible due to age and wear. Lian watched her for a moment before letting out a faint, almost inaudible sigh and heading up to the attic.

Glancing gloomily at the spot she had just left, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There was no reply from inside, but she slowly opened the door, which creaked as she entered. Immediately, a dry, sharp voice rang out. It was Hailla’s older sister, Rethe.

“Where were you?”

“To the temple. We ran out of medicine.”

“I also stopped by the market and bought some of your favourite fruit.”

Hailla spoke cheerfully as she placed a small tray by the bed. It was Rethe’s meal. It contained soup that had simmered for a long time and mashed potatoes that were easy on the stomach.

“Hmph.”

Rethe merely snorted and picked up her spoon. She stirred the rich soup, took a mouthful and chewed slowly. Its smooth, nutty texture filled her mouth.

“How is it? It tastes OK, right?”

Hailla kept chattering. It was a familiar scene: The younger sister tending to her elder, always speaking cheerfully and observing her mood. Hailla believed it was her role to bring the outside world into her sister’s life, given her own frustration at her inability to walk.

“You seem happy?”

“Of course I am. I’m with you.”

Hailla gently stroked Rethe’s hand. Rethe looked down blankly, comparing her own bony hand with her sister’s: Sturdy pink nails and soft, healthy skin. Plump skin. Rethe withdrew her hand from her sister’s as if it were a brittle twig breaking off a tree.

“… “

Are you not working anymore?”

Until a few days ago, Hailla worked in the kitchen of a fairly large restaurant. Because of her roughly cut fringe and shabby clothes, her employer had never allowed her to serve customers. Instead, she cooked quietly in the back kitchen.

Although the pay was absurdly low and she was treated worse than an animal, she actually liked the job. The restaurant owner was lazy and exploitative, which meant that he rarely noticed if a few ingredients went missing. Sometimes she’d get caught and beaten badly, but Hailla was still grateful for the job because it enabled her to feed her sister.

But now, she no longer went out to work. Hailla hesitated slightly, then nodded. In exchange for staying in their home, Lian gave them a sizeable sum of money. Although it made her uneasy, she needed the money, and Lian had simply told her to consider it payment for lodging.

By saving that money, she calculated that they could get by for a few months. She had quit her job a few months ago.

More importantly, Rethe needed a caregiver.

All of Hailla’s decisions and way of life revolved around Rethe. This came before any sense of indebtedness to Lian. Hailla was constantly afraid that Rethe might die alone if she wasn’t there.

Then, suddenly, Rethe’s expression changed.

“Are you sleeping with that bastard for money?”

It wasn’t just mockery. Rethe’s face was expressionless but composed. Hailla instantly froze. She tried to process what she had just heard, her complexion growing paler as she did so. Her eyes were full of disbelief. A strange tension hung between them. The air, which had once felt tepid, now felt feverish, as if it were shimmering before her eyes.

“What…?”

“I’m asking if you’re sleeping with men for money.”

“Stop it, sis…”

“Take off your clothes.”

Hailla hesitated, then took a step back. Seeing her sister’s golden eyes gleaming like that made her skin crawl. Despite her protests, Rethe shouted at her to take her clothes off. She wouldn’t stop until she had seen it with her own eyes. Moments like this were terrifying. First, she felt cold and sorrowful, and then she was immediately worried that her sister might collapse. It was something she was used to.

“Take them off!”

A plate of stew hit her round head and smashed to the floor. The yellow liquid ran down her fine blonde hair. Luckily, she had allowed it to cool down slightly before serving it.

Momentarily off balance, Hailla staggered before regaining her footing and looking directly at her sister. Rethe was still filled with rage. The trembling of her hand on the bed was probably due to her trying to suppress it. Hailla parted her lips, but gave up trying to reason with her. It was learned helplessness.

“Okay.”

She slowly began to undress. Her hands shook as she unbuttoned her top. Even she couldn’t fully understand her own feelings. She recalled the times when they used to bathe together as children, when Rethe would undress her and wash her hair. She didn’t know why that memory had come to mind.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, mingling with the stew and dripping onto the floor. She wiped them away with her foot as she approached her sister. Rethe grabbed her arm firmly and examined her body thoroughly. She checked every part — her nape, chest, back, hips and gr*in — before shoving her away.

“I don’t care who you roll around with.”

“…”

“But you’re not allowed to become a wh*re. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Rethe hated her. Or at least, that’s how it felt to Hailla. She acted as if she wanted her little sister to be consumed by despair, just as she had been. But, at the same time, she was terrified that Hailla would fall completely apart. She was consumed by the fear that Hailla would turn out to be just like her. Sometimes, Hailla couldn’t tell what Rethe truly wanted. Her face was unreadable.

Drip.

Clear droplets clung to her lashes and began to fall. Following Rethe’s outburst, an awkward silence fell between them. Hailla’s gaze turned to her sister. Wisps of hair clung to her sweaty forehead; her cheeks were hollow from prolonged illness; her hair was dry and brittle; and reddish patches were visible even through her clothing.

Hailla brought her hand to her sister’s cheek and gently brushed it with her thumb. She stroked her forehead, the skin beside her eyes and her hair, all with a soft touch. It was the same way Rethe used to soothe her when she was a restless child. Hailla had been a mischievous child, and even though Rethe would click her tongue in annoyance, she would always look after her. There was a time like that.

“I know.”

But those days would never return. Hailla had survived by slowly destroying Rethe’s life. And yet, she still loved her sister and could never leave her.

Breathing heavily to calm herself, Rethe slowly scanned her sister, who was touching her. Then she slapped her hand away sharply.

“Clean that up.”

Hailla’s gaze immediately dropped to the mess on the floor. In this old house, leaving it like that would surely attract mice or bugs. After quickly tidying her clothes and wiping her face, she picked up a dry rag from the corner of the room.

“Just a second. I’ll clean it up right away.”

She carefully checked to see if the hot soup had burned her sister or got on her clothes. After confirming that it hadn’t, she said nothing more. Then she crouched down and began wiping the floor.

“You want me to die, don’t you?”

It was a thin voice. Hailla’s hands froze mid-motion. She slowly raised her head and looked at her sister. Her expression showed that she couldn’t believe the self-deprecating words Rethe had just spoken.

“If I died, you and that bastard could live together forever.”

“What are you talking about? Why…?”

“I don’t know.”

Rethe lifted the corners of her mouth into a faint smile. Hailla hadn’t seen that expression in a long time. It was a faint trace of the smile she used to show when their little world was intact, a few years ago, when she would tease her gentle, soft-hearted sister about her naivety.

“Rethe. My sister.”

Hailla stopped wiping and knelt beside the bed where her sister lay. She took her sister’s bony hand and pressed her forehead against it.

“You are the person I love most in the world.”

“…”

“Leaving you would be like leaving myself.”

There wasn’t an ounce of falsehood in her words. Even if God Himself were standing before her, Hailla would have sworn the same. Rethe was her entire world. He was her only blood relative left, her hope — and her sin.

Her tearful face seemed almost vibrant. Rethe looked at Hailla calmly before slowly pulling her hand away. Then she lifted it again and gently brushed her pale cheek. Tears transferred from her face to her fingertips, leaving them damp.

“… Okay.”

And with that, the conversation ended.

***

“I didn’t think my sister would say something like that.”

Hailla muttered as they walked towards the lake to wash up. Lian, keeping an eye out to make sure she didn’t trip on the dark path, subtly furrowed his brow at the unwelcome topic.

“Why?”

“She asked if I wanted her dead. And then… if I’d live with you after that…”

She mentioned Rethe’s illusions, but her voice trailed off shyly. Lian appeared indifferent.

“She probably got scared after being that ill.”

Hailla just nodded. Like Rethe, it seemed that Lian didn’t enjoy conversations about her sister. A warm hand reached out and grasped her wrist — Lian’s way of bringing her back to the present.

“The one who probably wants to die the most is Rethe herself.”

“I told you not to say things like that.”

Her tone was one of gentle guidance rather than anger. By now, Hailla understood what was missing in Lian. He had no interest in or empathy for familial affection — not even a hint of it.

It was almost a miracle that someone so emotionally distant had become attached to her. In situations like this, anger was unhelpful — what he needed was guidance. Hailla knew how to talk to Lian.

But what he said next took her completely by surprise.

“You’re going to live with me forever anyway.”