Side Story 1: The Duchess Is On The Balcony (Part 6)

When Bieren heard of Lizbeth’s indebtedness to Doctor Dale, he reinstated him as the ducal physician.

Of course, it was exceedingly unpleasant to acknowledge that he had inadvertently aided Lizbeth’s escape. However, Bieren eventually had to acknowledge their kindness and reinstate them, given that the couple had provided Lizbeth with a job.

The couple, upon seeing Lizbeth as the Duchess, were greatly surprised but congratulated her on finding love through marriage.

“She’s pregnant. The Lady is expecting her second child.”

The physician brought yet another piece of happy news.

Lizbeth, who had sought Doctor Dale out due to nausea just from the smell of food, was stunned by the news, as was Bieren, who had been at her side throughout her visit.

Lizbeth blinked, clutching her lower belly in disbelief. Bieren overlapped his hands over her stomach.

“Aaah….”

The news of Lizbeth’s first pregnancy had been clouded with misunderstandings and jealousy due to her escape. Therefore, he hadn’t expected this feeling upon hearing that his beloved had his child. His heart swelled with emotions, unable to contain itself.

Seeing Bieren struggling to express his feelings, Lizbeth called him again,

“Bieren?”

“You…”

Bieren couldn’t finish his sentence, choked with emotion. He deeply regretted the past moments. Even in such a moment of joy, he had driven Lizbeth away. He couldn’t forgive himself.

Yet, as he almost voiced this regret, Lizbeth, always gentle, smiled as if to say it was alright. Therefore, Bieren had to bring up another topic.

“I’m so glad you’re having my child.”

Lizbeth laughed as she heard Bieren’s words, tears brimming in her eyes. Her face contorted as if she was about to cry, but she held back a smile with her lips.

Those were the words she’d wanted to hear when she’d had the child of the man she loved, and now Bieren was finally able to say it, and Lizbeth was finally able to hear them.

***

“Ugh….”

Lizbeth had severe morning sickness. Bieren tirelessly brought all sorts of fresh ingredients from the upper town and instructed the chef to prepare all kinds of delicacies. 

However, Lizbeth vomited everything. Bieren’s heart ached as he watched Lizbeth unable to eat properly day by day.

Seeing her unable to eat much despite her small body made him feel sick with worry. Lizbeth’s idea of “light food” was things that didn’t properly nourish her. At worst, she survived on just a few pomegranate seeds a day.

Bieren became determined to find food that Lizbeth could stomach, even if she vomited later. Only when Lizbeth was completely pale did she mention something she wanted to eat.

“Potato soup, not with butter, but with oil.”

“Oil?”

“I used to have it often at the orphanage…”

Lizbeth’s words trailed off, embarrassed. It felt awkward to admit that her desired food amidst all the delicacies was a simple potato soup. It was as if she were admitting that no matter how much she learned to be polite, she was still a commoner with no sense of decency in her bones.

Butter was a luxury reserved for the nobility while oil was a common ingredient available to anyone. However, Bieren immediately responded to Lizbeth’s request as if it were something precious.

“I’ll have the potato soup brought right away, and if there’s anything else you’d like, let me know. There are people here who are willing to do anything for you whenever you want.”

Bieren spoke with an eager look in his eyes, as if he would do anything to put something in Lizbeth’s mouth. Seeing her gentle husband’s expression, Lizbeth revisited the time she had misunderstood him and left him.

Perhaps, at that time, if she had simply told him about her pregnancy, she wouldn’t have had to endure all those hardships. Lizbeth couldn’t help but feel the depth of his love as she watched him so desperately and earnestly in response to the news of her pregnancy.

“Let me cool it down for you.”

Bieren said, blowing gently on the potato soup he had brought from the kitchen. He continuously blew on the hot soup to cool it down.

How could I have left such a devoted man? 

Watching him cool the soup with such care, Lizbeth wondered how he had spent his time without her.

The man who had returned from the harsh battles in the remote frontlines must have been met with a desolate mansion devoid of her presence.

“Bieren.”

Lizbeth called out to him with a weak voice. At that time, she was consumed only by her own sadness and anguish. She hadn’t fully understood Bieren’s pain. She had simply been engulfed by anxiety that she might lose her child, so she had left him.

But Bieren had come to find her, who had abandoned him while he was away at war. Lizbeth was grateful that Bieren hadn’t given up on her.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s an honor for me to be able to help you like this.”

Bieren put the back of the soup spoon to his lips, checking the temperature. The way he said it, like it was something he was supposed to do, made her heart tighten even more.

Lizbeth couldn’t imagine what he must have felt when he came to her after hearing about her pregnancy. 

She hadn’t fled to hurt him intentionally, but ultimately, she couldn’t avoid causing him pain.

With a heavy heart, Lizbeth spoke, pouring out her regrets.

“…I wish I hadn’t left you, Bieren. I should have trusted you more.”

“It’s my fault. I have caused you pain, and it is not for you to feel guilty and blame yourself.”

Bieren tried to console Lizbeth.

Seeing her blame herself, despite being on the verge of death, was unbearable for him. Her gentle and forgiving nature, despite her own suffering, hurt him terribly.

Bieren spoke to Lizbeth once again, hoping to convey his feelings clearly.

“I’m just grateful I can take care of you now. To think you suffered so much in my absence, unable to even eat properly…”

Thinking of the suffering she endured in his absence made him feel as if his vision was darkening.

At that time, Bieren had been plunged into despair at being abandoned by Lizbeth. He hadn’t considered that she was also suffering in his absence, harboring resentment toward him.

No, if only Bieren had realized his love for Lizbeth in advance, she wouldn’t have been in such a desperate situation where she had to flee with their child in her womb.

Lizbeth choked up, trying to comfort the man who had stopped speaking.

“Bieren.”

“I love you.”

Bieren confessed sincerely. His love, previously expressed only through anxiety and jealousy, now emerged as a rough but sincere declaration, devoid of any pretense.

He just wanted to say he loved her as naturally as breathing. He wanted to say everything he couldn’t say back then when Lizbeth fled in anxiety with their child in her arms.

He wanted to reassure Lizbeth that she wouldn’t have to feel anxious and run away because of him in the future.

“I want to be able to love you forever.”

Bieren wanted to seek Lizbeth’s permission to be with her through every moment of her life. Marriage or the wedding ring she wore on her fourth finger didn’t guarantee eternal commitment.

Even if Lizbeth said she loved him forever, there was no guarantee she wouldn’t leave.

Lizbeth loved Bieren, but for the sake of their child and his household, she left. 

Through this, Bieren learned that loving someone and being together with them were different. Just like his father, who tolerated his beloved wife’s affairs with a stable man.

“I wish I were someone familiar to you. I wish you’d become so accustomed to me that your life would feel empty without me, and you’d come searching for me.”

Bieren said, pressing his thumb gently against Lizbeth’s lower lip, allowing the spoon to slip in. The taste of the soft, savory potato soup filled her mouth, warmed just right by Bieren’s careful cooling. 

For the first time in a long while, Lizbeth could enjoy a simple meal without feeling the urge to vomit. After swallowing the soup, she finally spoke.

“I already can’t imagine life without you.”

For Bieren, it wasn’t just about not being able to imagine a life without Lizbeth; he was sure he wouldn’t survive. If Lizbeth died, he had no reason to live. Even with their child left behind, he wouldn’t be able to endure.

He was following in his father’s footsteps, who couldn’t bring himself to be angry with his mother, and just like his father, he prioritized Lizbeth over any child and couldn’t love anyone more than her.

“Then allow me to stay by your side, to support you as your husband, even in such mundane matters.”

Bieren replied, swallowing his apprehension towards Lizbeth. Unlike the days when he poured out only his lustful desires, Bieren now knew how to conceal the darker side of love. 

He wanted to show Lizbeth only the beautifully crafted jewel-like affection.

***

In the weeks that followed, Lizbeth finally reached the end of her severe morning sickness with Bieren’s care, but her growing belly made it increasingly difficult for her to move around.

Every time she struggled to move, Bieren was anxious to pick her up and carry her. Lizbeth would smile brightly, as if unaffected by the heaviness of her body.

“Doesn’t it feel like my belly is getting bigger?”

Seeing her smiling despite the growing discomfort brought both joy and a pang of helplessness to his heart.

Lizbeth expressed joy in seeing the baby grow. She adored the child immensely, showing such affection that she even went to see Erik with her swollen belly.

Lizbeth turned to Bieren, her eyes widened.

“The baby kicked. Did you feel it?”

“I’ll have to try feeling it.”

Bieren listened to Lizbeth’s words and bent down, pressing his ear against her belly. Thump, a rough sound resonated as if someone was kicking through the water.

Bieren loved the child in her belly because it was Lizbeth’s and his. But because Lizbeth had once been on the brink of death during pregnancy, he couldn’t love the baby as much as Lizbeth did.

However, he found himself suddenly becoming attentive to every movement of the child.

“How is it?”

Lizbeth asked, her eyes shining as she turned to face Bieren, who had his ear pressed against her lower belly. Normally, Bieren would have given Lizbeth the answer she was looking for with a loud purr.

But now, Bieren couldn’t think of anything to say. A wave similar to when he first saw Erik, with his hair like his and eyes like Lizbeth’s, surged in his chest. His heart fluttered as if he was meeting Erik for the first time.

“It’s our child.”

Bieren finally accepted the overwhelming truth. In the end, he couldn’t help but love the baby in Lizbeth’s belly, which he hadn’t even seen.

Once, Bieren had detested everything Lizbeth’s affection touched. When it was a person, he couldn’t tolerate it. But now, he found himself loving everything she loved.

“So adorable.”

She smiled at the man confessing his love for their child.

Once Lizbeth safely gave birth to their child, Bieren shone his tears over Lizbeth’s cold face, afraid that something might go wrong.

He insisted to the chief physician that she couldn’t bear any more children now that she had given birth to the second. Dr. Dale finally resisted the harassment.

“No one will buy a drug that makes it impossible to conceive again, even if it is commercialized.”

“I’ll make it and use it myself. I’ll help you develop it.”

Bieren was truly resolute. Even though having many children like rabbits might be good, he couldn’t bear to see Lizbeth’s body deteriorate any further.

Dr. Dale reluctantly acquiesced to the imperial pharmacists at the behest of his master.

The flimsy contraceptive tea that had lowered her chances of conception was later replaced by the contraceptive pill that Bieren had introduced.

While popular among couples who did not plan on having children, ironically, the man who made the pill, Bieren, was neglecting his own wife.

“They say the Duke made it?”

The news about the Duke and Duchess spread like wildfire through social circles. While many were surprised by the unexpected news, a few who knew the details passed on the information.

“The Duke made it because he didn’t want his wife to suffer from pregnancy.”

“Seems like the Duke is quite passionate about his wife if he made something to prevent her from getting pregnant.”

“I never thought I’d see that the Duke of Etterland acts like such a romanticist of the century. It’s quite a sight to behold.”

He was a young bachelor who rejected many young ladies’ handkerchiefs at the hunting contests each season. Hearing that this arrogant man, who seemed to live a lifetime without knowing love, was behaving as if he knew nothing but love, everyone burst into laughter.