“Don’t sing this time.” 

I suddenly remembered what the second gift had been. 

“What song are you talking about?” 

“Last year you made up a song using your birthday date and sang it. I didn’t say anything at the time, but honestly, you’re completely tone deaf.” 

I could see Zetak’s grimacing face in my mind. 

“Did you know that every time you sang, the nanny pinched her own thigh behind you to stop herself laughing?”

Yes, that’s how it was. He was hopelessly tone deaf, which is why his birthday date was etched in my mind. Without realising it, I looked down at him. A shameless child who had sung a song, almost demanding that his birthday be remembered. Now, as his birthday approached, he didn’t say a word about it. If he hadn’t mentioned Karial’s birthday, I probably wouldn’t have remembered and let the day pass unnoticed. 

“Is there anything you want on your birthday?” 

“Nothing.”

His response was quick, a clear departure from the past. Five years ago, he always asked for something special for his birthday. After the handkerchief, was it the fountain pen he wanted? Although it’s now broken and lying in a drawer, it was no ordinary object. It was a fountain pen once used by royalty, anything but cheap – gold-plated and decorated with tiny sapphires. Yet this child, a mere servant, had asked for it without the slightest hesitation.

“Give me that. The pen Your Highness cherished.”

I hadn’t particularly treasured it. It was just familiar to my hand, so I used it often.

“This pen is broken and doesn’t write anymore. I can get you a new one of the same kind…”

“The pen Your Highness used.”

He had held out his hand confidently, as if claiming something that was rightfully his. Did this child consider me his master? Despite this thought, I gave him the pen. I knew that as soon as I handed it to him, he’d smile foolishly, grinning from ear to ear. Suddenly I wondered if I had been lenient with him because I liked seeing that smile.

“It’s broken. Is this pen so special to you? If so, I’ll buy you another one.”

“No, this one’s fine.”

‘I remembered how he’d said those words. What use could he have for a pen that didn’t even produce ink?’

“Do you still have that pen?”

Although my question was abrupt and without context, he seemed to know exactly what I was referring to and answered immediately. “No.” His reply was short and firm. For a moment my thoughts stopped, leaving me momentarily stunned. I couldn’t help but feel ridiculous. What had I expected? An answer that he still had it? How foolish. 

It was I who had cast him out. He was sent away empty-handed, with nothing to hold on to – what could he have kept? Even if he could have taken something, he wouldn’t have taken what I had given him. 

Unconsciously, I pressed a hand to my chest. Once he had shamelessly demanded everything he wanted from me. Why was he asking for nothing now? Was it because he no longer wanted anything from me? Was it his way of saying that he no longer wanted to accept anything I offered?

“Is there really nothing you want? Just say the word – anything”.

“I said it’s fine. Why insist?” 

“…” 

“I don’t want anything. It’s fine.”    

His reaction was exactly what I had expected, but it left a strange feeling in my chest. Of course, no matter how much affection remained, things would never be the same. Even I wouldn’t want to accept anything from someone who had cast me aside. As these thoughts crossed my mind, Zetak clicked his tongue softly. 

“What is this? Are you sulking or something?” 

What are you talking about?” 

“I’m saying stop sitting there looking so glum and expressionless.” 

Glum? 

“I didn’t do that.” 

Zetak muttered a low curse. What had I done to deserve such a curse? Where had he been, and what had he been doing in the five years since I had cast him out, that his language had become so coarse? He looked at me and let out a small sigh. 

“You don’t have to do this anymore.”

He murmured softly, his words filled with genuine sincerity. It seemed he wanted nothing more from me, not even gifts. 

How insolent. How dare he refuse a gift from royalty? 

“Then I’ll prepare something myself. You’ll just have to keep it.” 

If he doesn’t accept it willingly, I’ll make it an order. He had no choice but to accept. Zetak gave me a slightly incredulous look before nodding briefly. 

“Well, if that’s what you want, then go ahead.” 

His indifferent reply sent an inexplicable wave of frustration through me. At this point, I found myself determined to prepare something truly spectacular, something that would leave him speechless. But what did Zetak really want? In the past, he had asked for a handkerchief and a pen. What had he asked for after that? Ah, it was something rather unusual… 

“My hair?” 

Without realising it, I reached out to touch my hair. The memory came back. He had asked for a lock of my hair. As a child, I had kept my hair quite long, the nanny styling it as she pleased – at one point it might even have come down to my waist. I’d assumed he’d only cut off a small piece from the ends, but Zetak had instead cut off everything from the back of my neck. 

“…aren’t you angry?”

Clutching the hair he had just cut off, Zetak had looked up at me with a frightened expression on his face. Although I had given him permission, I hadn’t expected him to cut it so drastically. If he was so scared, why had he taken so much in the first place? 

I rubbed the now exposed back of my neck and looked at him. Seeing him fidgeting like a nervous animal, my lips instinctively parted to speak. 

“It’s all right. I wasn’t going to let it grow out anyway.” 

I had just left it there because the nanny was looking after it. I didn’t have any particular attachment to it, so even after it was cut I didn’t feel much of anything. Zetak, however, looked down at the strands of hair in his hands with an expression that seemed on the verge of tears. 

“Whenever Your Highness acts this way… it makes me wish I were mistaken.”

He murmured these cryptic words, his tone unreadable. I remained silent, unsure of what he meant, and Zetak smiled. 

“Since you are so kind, may I ask in advance for my next gift?” 

The child was completely unashamed. When I asked what he wanted, Zetak replied with a calm expression. He was smiling, but somehow it seemed strained, as if it cost him something. 

“Your hair…Please don’t let it grow any longer.” 

What he asked was something I could never have expected. 

“Promise me you won’t let it grow out. That will be my next gift.”

It was a strange request, whoever heard it. At the time I didn’t bother to ask why, although I was puzzled. He wanted it, so I just nodded without question. I didn’t understand it then, but now, looking back, I think I know why he made such a request.

“…Karial.”

Her name slipped out instinctively. Could it be that Zetak had already figured out why Karial was so fixated on me and decided to cut my hair because of it? Karial once looked at me and said that her beloved Liri had come back to life. 

“Ah, if only your hair was longer, you’d be perfect.” 

I remembered her muttering those words as she looked at me. Without thinking, my hand brushed the back of my neck. I had never grown my hair longer than Zetak had cut it. I’d promised him I wouldn’t. After exorcising him, I got used to it and kept it at that length. 

“You…” 

Were you trying to protect me from Karial? I wanted to ask, but I stopped myself. What’s the point of asking something so obvious? Cutting my hair was his clear attempt to get me out of Karial’s sight.

Five years ago, he was just an ordinary servant with no power – a child in a lowly position who had to endure every injustice the nobles inflicted on him in silence. Cutting my hair was probably the boldest and most significant action he could take as a servant.

The more I understand him, the more I feel indebted to him. A debt so immense that I couldn’t repay it in a lifetime. It’s not just because Zetak tried to protect me. In truth, his efforts failed – Karial’s interest in me didn’t wane. So perhaps cutting my hair was a futile attempt. But even so… 

“What can I do for you?”

“…”

“What can I do to make you…”

“How can I make you feel comfortable?”

I couldn’t finish the sentence. How could he ever be comfortable? It was impossible. If I really cared about his well-being, I should send him to the demon realm. Or maybe it would be better if I went with him. The thought crossed my mind for a moment, but I quickly realised how foolish it was. It would be nothing short of a death sentence. Who better than I to know that the demon realm is no place for humans?

Maybe I wouldn’t die from the demons’ oppressive energy, but the scent of a human would attract monsters from every direction. I looked down at my right arm. If it had been intact, it might have been worth the risk. But in my current state, even if I managed to get into the demon realm, I wouldn’t last long looking for a way out.