Since my arm was injured, I haven’t done anything in the sword lessons. I just sit on a chair under the training hall. Actually, it’s not just this class. In most of the classes that require the use of my arm, I’m just an observer. Anyway, the reason I’m at the Academy is to pass the time until the Crown Prince is chosen. Although I could feel the occasional glance from others, it wasn’t anything to worry about.

“Are you okay?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you perhaps having unnecessary thoughts… No, never mind. It’s nothing.”

Zetak has been asking me this a lot since I suddenly started crying. He probably thinks I’m thinking strange thoughts when I’m silent.

“Give me your hand.”

He looked at me in confusion at the unexpected words, but held out his hand anyway. I took it and sat down beside him. I could feel the eyes of the nobles swinging their swords in the training hall on me. There were murmurs about my placing the guard beside me, but no one seemed particularly puzzled. It seemed that the fact that Zetak and I were lovers was already taken for granted.

Once Zetak was seated beside me, I silently looked down at my hand. The growth of the monster. Monsters don’t grow as fast as humans. Still, I couldn’t just sit back and watch. I had to send him to the Demon Realm as soon as possible.

The gate itself would probably be scattered here and there, so getting there wouldn’t be a problem. But how would I tell him? Well, talking wouldn’t be difficult. All I had to do was tell him the truth about the Gate. So that wasn’t the reason I couldn’t talk.

“You don’t want me to get angry, do you?”

If he knew the truth I had been hiding, he would be angry. And I didn’t want that. He hated me enough already. The idea that love coexists with hate means that hate and resentment are also part of the equation. I didn’t want him to hate me any more than he already did. The feeling I had once experienced was now clearly settled in my heart.

“I don’t want you to hate me anymore, because ….”

“That’s enough.”

Zetak cut me off with a frown.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but stop it. You’re making me cry again.”

Crying… What kind of pathetic person do you think I am?

Don’t insult a poor person.

“…….”

What the hell, something makes me want to hit him. What the hell is this feeling? Zetak looks at me and lets out a small sigh.

I have a vague idea what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me something you’ve been keeping from me.

“…….”

“I don’t know what big secret you’re crying about, but …….”

“I won’t be angry.”

He murmured, his voice sounding somewhat helpless.

You can’t pay, not like this.

I don’t understand what he means. It’s his freedom to be angry, so why can’t he? Still, he’s assured me that he won’t be angry, and that’s a good thing.

I touch his hand. Cool snake scales. I stroke past them to his burned, distorted palm. These hands were evidence of his attempts to protect me. The hand that had pushed his face into the charcoal, the hand that had twisted itself to protect me.

“Your Majesty! Stay back! It’s dangerous!”

When the embers spilled and hit me, I grabbed them with my bare hands. The actions that encouraged me to trample him even more. I didn’t understand why he was so devoted to me then. Do I care for this child? I couldn’t answer that question then. But now I think I can.

I brushed his hair. I could see some of the nobles who had been watching us frown when they saw Zetak’s face. Zetak didn’t care about them. I care about him. I care enough that I don’t want him to die.

Emotion. No doubt I was beginning to develop emotions, much like the butterfly boy I had seen in my past life. I still couldn’t define what it was I felt for Zetak. Lust. Desire. Obsession. The desire to keep him by my side even if he was broken. None of these were soft feelings. Even though we pretended to be lovers because of the rumours, I knew it wasn’t the kind of love people talked about. But that didn’t mean I wanted to destroy it.

A feeling I still couldn’t define. Maybe Zetak will leave before I understand what it is, and maybe after he dies somewhere in the demon realm, I’ll realise what I really feel. What will I feel then? Guilt? Longing? Or maybe regret that I didn’t stop him from leaving?

“I have something to tell you. The choice will be yours.

“……”

“Whatever decision you make, I will support you.”

I said it, but there was little I could really do. The most I could offer was to take him to the nearest gate. Zetak waited silently for my next words. Drop. The gate. Growth. If he didn’t go, the distortion of his body would happen. As soon as I opened my mouth to explain all this, an interrupter intervened.

“May I request a sparring match with Your Highness?”

Zetak’s expression hardened at the sudden voice. Perhaps it wasn’t so much because of the interruption, but because he simply didn’t like the owner of the voice.

Turning my head, I saw Karial, dressed in training clothes, standing with a sword in her hand. Now that I think about it, shouldn’t she be in class at the same time? She looked me straight in the eye. Her demeanour was so confident and uninhibited that it was hard to believe she had been avoiding me until now.

“Although I use my left hand, I’m not very good with a sword. I hope you’ll consider my request and teach me just one move.”

I could feel the nobles looking over here and there. The unfortunate genius with the broken arm. The nobles seemed eager to see if I would accept the sparring.

Karial has no intention of sparring. Nor does she intend to trample me in front of many nobles, as Bapharos did to Riog. She likes swords, but by her own admission she has no talent. Even if it’s her left hand, it’s still a man’s strength. Even without using Ki, if she relies on sheer strength, she is likely to lose her sword.

So it wasn’t a formal challenge. As Merianne once said, it was merely an invitation to talk. When I stood up and took the sword that had been lying on the chair, Karial smiled as if pleased. As we ascended to the training hall, the nobles, pretending not to look, subtly moved aside to form a circle of space. Would the fallen prince’s left hand, with its broken arm, be able to wield a sword? Their eyes were filled with such curiosity.

“Nice to meet you.”

Karial bowed slightly before raising her sword. Her stance was good, but it felt like swordsmanship for show. However, her strength was surprisingly good for something like that. She swung harder than I had expected.

I had never swung a sword with my left hand before. It felt a little awkward, but not so much that I couldn’t do it. She wielded the sword more seriously than I had expected. I had mistakenly assumed that she would be more focused on the conversation, just lightly clashing swords.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you. Did you get there safely?”

She remembered when she lost consciousness and was carried by Zetak’s spider legs and thrown outside. When she awoke, she probably felt more shame and humiliation than fear. Nobles passing by must have looked at her at least once.

Karial swung her sword several times before she stepped back, gasping for breath. In a way, this was to be expected. I hadn’t moved a single step, but she had. She kept swinging her sword, moving around, trying to find an opening, so it was no surprise that she got tired.

“Do you mean the day I fainted from anaemia? If so, it’s all right.”

Anaemia. It seems to be strong in social matters. How could fainting in the corridor with her skirt up and the maid lying there be dismissed as just anaemia? She took a sharp breath and swung her sword again. I parried the diagonal blow with the flat of my blade and spoke.

“Let’s not beat around the bush. What’s the reason you were avoiding me and now you’re facing me?”

“Ah, yes, you’re right. Then let me be direct. My birthday is coming up. I’m sure you’ve heard from that child.”

After her words, I looked down at the training hall and saw a strange sight. There were many seats for the nobles below the training hall, but all the waiting nobles were standing. Around Zetak, the seats were filled, but no one sat down. Perhaps it was because they were avoiding someone who had been tainted by a monster. It was as if an invisible barrier surrounded Zetak.

“Even when you’re with me, do you still look at that child?”

As I instinctively blocked the sword coming straight at me, I looked at Karial.

“Why? Why do you keep looking at him? I met you first. You mean more to me.”

No. It was Zetak who met me first. It was also Zetak who cared more for me. He even risked his own life to see me.

“I am far more worthy, far more than a mere servant like him. I want you much more.”

“Enough to keep me as a trophy?”

Karial bit her lip. It wasn’t me she really liked. Maybe it was my hair or my eyes. Through me she saw someone else – probably Liri, the doll, her mother. With a determined scream, Karial lunged forward and the heavy sound of clashing swords echoed.

She tried with all her strength to push my sword back, but just as in the beginning, I didn’t move from my position. Frustrated, she tightened her grip on the sword.

“Even if I tell you how I feel, I know you won’t understand, will you? The reason I wanted to see you was to personally ask you to attend the upcoming banquet. I was afraid that if I just sent a card like before, you’d ignore it again.”