***

” Selection for the Crown Princess?”

A time of trial had come for the once innocent Zetak. It became a major turning point that changed his personality and deeply distorted his desires. In truth, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary – only for Zetak was it a monumental event.

The choice of the Crown Princess. Jaibid was young, but he was the Crown Prince. There was nothing unusual about choosing a Crown Princess in advance. Zetak had already prepared for this inevitability. One day Jaibid would marry and have children. Zetak had decided to sit back and watch it all unfold. But when the reality hit him, he couldn’t stop the tears.

‘Why must I be a servant? Why must he be the Crown Prince?’

He had learned that even two men could be together.

‘I could give myself to His Highness. I could make him scream and tremble.’

He cried as he imagined the impossible.

When someone asked why he was crying, Zetak said it was nothing. He said he wasn’t crying, but Jaibid didn’t believe him. Of course he didn’t. Zetak’s red, watery eyes trembled as they filled with tears. Who would believe him when he said he wasn’t crying?

“You really are a child who cries a lot.”

‘Only for His Highness. Only for His Highness.’

Silently, Zetak swallowed his tears, repeating the words over and over in his mind.

‘Who will be chosen as the Crown Princess?’

He found himself resenting someone who hadn’t even been chosen yet. A position he could never achieve, no matter how much he wanted it. He resented the person who would take it simply because she was a noble. Zetak knew that the feeling was twisted. But knowing it didn’t change anything. Just as not everyone makes the right choices all the time, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling something wrong, even if he recognised it as such.

Jealousy. For the first time, Zetak realised that what he was feeling was jealousy.

‘I wish His Highness could be mine alone.’

The intense emotion consumed him. But no matter how much he wished it, he knew that reality would never change.

“I hope His Highness doesn’t take a Crown Princess.”

The muttered wish slipped from Zetak’s lips without him noticing. Of course, it was uttered in a barely audible voice just before he left the room. It was just a muttered thought to himself. Surely Jaibid wouldn’t have heard it. At least that’s what Zetak believed. He didn’t know that Jaibid was silently watching him from behind.

Even after Zetak had left, Jaibid remained silent for a long time. He walked over to the table where a list of noble families sent by the Empress was laid out. With an expressionless face, he looked down at the papers. His face showed no emotion, no hint of what he was thinking. Jaibid felt nothing. He was aware of that about himself, and he never considered it sad. After all, the emotion of sadness didn’t even exist for him.

Zetak’s words seemed to echo in his ears: the wish for him not to take a crown princess. The image of the boy’s tearful face also remained in his mind.

“What a strange boy. Why would he wish for such a thing?”

A small question, but one that didn’t matter much – just that much. Jaibid had little interest in his surroundings. Even when Zetak said strange things or blushed while talking, Jaibid paid no attention.

‘Ah, he’s just a child whose expressions change easily and who smiles a lot.’

What he didn’t know was that if he really didn’t care, he wouldn’t have noticed the changes at all.

Jaibid took the paper with the list of noble families and tore it up.

‘If he doesn’t like it so much, there’s no need to rush into choosing a crown princess.’

Although he didn’t quite understand why he had come to this conclusion. Whenever Zetak cried, Jaibid granted him almost everything he asked for. And when he saw Zetak’s beaming smile, he couldn’t help but notice. Maybe Zetak was someone special to Jaibid.

Whether Jaibid was aware of it or not, it was obvious to others.

‘His Highness seems to appreciate this servant boy.’

They all thought. But Jaibid, unaware of it himself, let time pass without realising the truth.

***

The life-changing event that reshaped Zetak’s personality came without a sound. It crept in silently, tormented him silently, and without a word, deeply affected his character.

It had been six months. Zetak clenched his fist.

‘For Jaibid, I would throw myself into the fire without hesitation.’

That thought had never wavered, not then and not now. He would do anything for him. But that was that, and that was this. He looked at the boy holding the teacup. His hope. His salvation. But at that moment he was nothing less than a mortal enemy. No other enemy could compare. Zetak took a step back and stared at the liquid swirling in the cup.

“Your Highness, please. Just this once, please…”

His voice was pleading, his expression utterly desperate. But the boy looking back at him – Jaibid – didn’t even flinch.

“Drink it.”

Jaibid commanded firmly. Zetak knew only too well what the liquid swirling in the teacup was. Six months. It had already been half a year. For six months he had been forced to take this drug. At this rate, he was sure he would wither away into nothing.

‘Damn you, Your Highness!’

Zetak cursed silently in his mind. He, who had once been almost fanatically devoted to Jaibid, had now inwardly uttered such words. But he felt no regret. The feelings he had for Jaibid now were ones he could never have imagined a few months ago.

‘I hate him. I resent him. If I could beat him just once, I wouldn’t want anything else in the world.’

 And yet he liked him. What was he to do with these conflicting feelings?

Old Zetak thought only of Jaibid with blind devotion. He was infinitely pure, and his feelings were untainted, so much so that they could be described as loyalty. But those feelings began to change. The lewd book shown by the other servant boys was only a small catalyst. The real catalyst was the liquid in that teacup.

After drinking it, his body began to rebel. The innocent dreams of holding Jaibid’s hand and running around with him became dreams of a different kind – dreams filled with white liquid. In these dreams, Jaibid…

‘Ah, Your Highness.’

Zetak looked at Jaibid with resentment. His long golden hair, down to his waist, was impossibly beautiful. His bright eyes sparkled like jewels. Moments ago, Zetak had wanted nothing more than to strike him, but now his heart was beating wildly. To Zetak, already hopelessly in love, Jaibid seemed like an angel from heaven… no, not an angel. An *phrodisiac. That’s what he was. Even without the drug, he was already in turmoil, his body betraying him with desire at such a young age. To be forced to take a stimulant on top of that – what kind of torture was that?

“Your Highness, please. I will do whatever you want. This is unbearable.”

“Unbearable, you say? Hmm. I suppose it smells bad. And it probably doesn’t taste good either.”

That wasn’t the point, but Zetak nodded eagerly. Any excuse to avoid it would do. Jaibid, however, raised his other hand. In it was something small, round and red.

“A… candy?”

What kind of torture is this? Tonight, he would have to endure the long night with the lingering sensation on his lips.

‘Damned Empress’s medicine. The effects are insane.’

A curse slipped out of Zetak’s mouth without him meaning to. The once innocent boy Zetak was no more. In the six months since he began taking the medicine, his speech had become coarse.

It wasn’t uncommon for servants to develop foul language, usually due to the sheer difficulty of their work. It wasn’t physical exhaustion but mental torment that often led them to curse, especially when they were assigned to cruel and unreasonable masters. Zetak had followed the same path. Although in his case his master wasn’t cruel, tyrannical or someone who tortured his servants.

‘What can I do? This medicine is the price for His Highness not taking a Crown Princess. It’s all my fate.’

Zetak tried to console himself with these thoughts. But there was no way to really comfort himself. Something inside him was boiling and bubbling, threatening to overflow.

‘If only I could land a punch in that face, how satisfying it would be.’

With that thought, Zetak closed his eyes, tears of blood welling up in his frustration. He did this to keep from forgetting the sensation of those fingers from earlier.

‘Your Highness, even his fingers are so beautiful. So soft.’

And so began Zetak’s fantasies.

When Jaibid turned his back, Zetak felt a pang in his chest. Jaibid was royalty – more than that, he was the Crown Prince. The selection of the Crown Princess had been postponed on the absurd excuse that he was impotent. But one day he would inevitably marry. The leniency and kindness Jaibid now showed Zetak would probably be shown to the Empress, to his children. The very thought was enough to make Zetak’s heart ache.

To Zetak, Jaibid was everything. It hurt to know that this wasn’t the case for Jaibid. It hurt, but knowing there was nothing he could do about it, he lowered his gaze.

‘Well, just meeting him again like this is something.’

He consoled himself with this thought.

But it was Jaibid’s next words that pulled Zetak out of his reverie and into despair.

“Stop helping me with my baths.”

The torture had begun.