As we were finishing our meal, soldiers at the next table who had been playing poker approached us with a proposal.

“Excuse us, comrades. If you’ve finished eating, why not join us? Poker is always more fun with more people.”

“Forgive us, but we were just about to leave.”

Jurgen declined politely, then took hold of my hand. Following his lead, I rose, and we left the restaurant together.

Once inside his car, I asked the question I had been holding back.

“Are you not going to use protection from now on either?”

When no answer came, unease stirred in me.

“There are these things called condoms. You can buy them from soldiers, and what they are is—”

“Svyeta.”

“Yes?”

“Why would I use a condom?”

With one hand on the wheel, he clasped my hand with the other, his fingers brushing against the ring on my finger. A ring identical to mine gleamed on his hand as well.

“Do I look as though I’m playing games with you?”

My hands shook as I pulled out a cigarette. Only a few remained. Lighting one steadied the panic rising in me, if only slightly.

Amid all the confusion, the only thing clear was that Jurgen wasn’t toying with me. He was serious. Terrifyingly so.

“Your brothers—I had them released from the camp yesterday. You’ll be able to see them soon. Keep that in mind.”

✹✹ ✹✹ ✹✹ ✹✹ ✹✹

When we arrived home, Jürgen demanded s*x straight away.

I couldn’t refuse. The pressure I had been feeling had finally reached its peak. I had no choice but to kneel and submit completely. There was no way I could defy him.

He gripped my thighs and pressed his mouth against me. Consumed by fear, I thought he might tear me apart, bite down and ruin me. He felt that threateningly close.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he licked gently, circled, teased, stroked and probed, playing with me in a cruel yet tender way. As his tongue flicked over my cl*toris, he looked up at me. His grey eyes were unfocused and obscene. My toes curled of their own accord and my whole body twisted. I can’t take it anymore…

And then—he bit. Not hard, but lightly enough to jolt me as though it were more intense than pain. My body shot upwards and a flood spilled out of me.

“Uhh…!”

I moaned, clutching at the sheets.

He climbed over me, breathing heavily. I caught a glimpse of his *rect p*nis: red, shiny and wet. Its swollen tip rubbed insistently against me, sliding between my thighs.

“Haa…”

His face was taut with *rousal; he seemed ready to thrust into me at any moment. The relentless stimulation built and built until I felt I was on the brink of madness.

When it was finally over, I lit a cigarette. The hand that held it trembled uncontrollably. It wasn’t just my hand that shook — my whole body quivered. I had no strength left at all.

From behind, he embraced me. His touch was surprisingly tender. Perhaps satisfied from having just had s*x, he didn’t protest my smoking. Instead, he stroked my thigh and rested his face against my shoulder.

✹✹ ✹✹ ✹✹ ✹✹ ✹✹

A few days later, I received a call from Mr. Smirnov.

“Yes, Mr. Smirnov. Of course, I’ve been well. By the way, how’s the new hire? Any good?”

—” He’s like you were at first. Clumsy, awkward.”

While I exchanged small talk with him, Jurgen stepped out of the bathroom, freshly shaved. I was n*ked, and he wore only a robe.

“Mr. Smirnov, something just came up. I’ll call you again later.”

— “All right. Let’s meet once before I leave for Hildenbech.”

“Yes. Goodbye.”

I set the receiver down, bowing my head. Just meeting Jurgen’s eyes filled me with shame. I crawled back beneath the covers, hiding myself.

“Still tired?”

I shook my head. He asked something else.

“Are you crying?”

“I’m not.”

I answered curtly, touching my cheek. Thankfully, the bruises that had marred my face had all faded by then. The marks on my neck had disappeared long ago.

“Get up, Svyeta. Time to wash and prepare to go out, isn’t it?”

“…All right.”

I dragged my heavy body into the bathroom. Today was an important day. It was the day I would be reunited with my brothers, who had been imprisoned the entire time.

It was a decisive day: I would finally discover whether Jürgen had rescued them from the camp. With firm resolve, I began to shower.

But with one arm crippled, even that was difficult. Despite my best efforts, I was clumsy and did a half-hearted job.

When I came out, Jürgen immediately handed me a shopping bag.

“Wear this.”

Inside were clothes: a silk dress, a dazzlingly white fur coat and shapka, and a pair of boots. They were expensive by any measure, yet I disliked them.

I was afraid that people might think I had lived a life of luxury in fine clothes all this time while my brothers suffered in the camp.

Nevertheless, I got dressed without complaint.

At the agreed time, I drove to the station. Jürgen did not accompany me.

As I waited at the station for my brothers, I lost myself in thought. Seryozha was gone, but at least the others had been freed.

I had done my duty. My brothers were free, and so was I.

That thought alone brought me immense peace.

And truly—truly—my brothers arrived at the station. Gaunt, sunburnt, yet unmistakably them. Georgi and Roman.

‘Why did my brothers have to suffer like this?’

The moment I faced them, the question pierced me.

My father had spent his entire life as a rural landowner, never once leaving the provinces. He firmly believed that the Tsar should be served like God. His limited education prevented him from realising how misguided this belief was.

Yes, our family had ruled over serfs for generations. However, my father had never treated them cruelly. He cared for them as though they were his own children. He believed that, just as the serfs obeyed him, he too must obey the Tsar. Even after the war, when we were in dire straits ourselves, he opened the storehouses to them.

Although he was a provincial landowner, he was still a nobleman. When war broke out, therefore, my father and my brother Seryozha went off to fight as officers. Without any protective connections, they were sent straight to the front line. They returned home alive, but with nothing else.

Then came the Revolution. The new government branded them ‘capitalists’ and ‘nobles’, dragged them away, and passed sentence.

Father had been ignorant, but he was undeniably guilty. Yet my brothers were no more than students. Even Seryozha, the eldest, was only twenty and still studying at university. How could they be dealt such a brutal punishment?

My teeth clenched as I pulled my coat tighter around me. Fury welled up inside me, layer upon layer, reaching its peak as I faced my now broken, crushed and devastated brothers.

“How have you been, Svyeta? You’ve grown into quite a young lady since we last saw you.”

However, Roman’s gentle, tender and fond voice made anger impossible.

“Mm.”

With tears in my eyes, I embraced my frail brothers. Georgi, Roman and I stood together, holding each other tightly for a long time.

“Seryozha is dead.”

Seryozha was so distant now. Everything about him, who was always kind to me, now feels distant and faint. Yet my grief remained vivid. I could never accept the thought that my bright, beautiful Seryozha had died alone in that hellish camp.

I quickened my pace. I couldn’t take my brothers back to Jürgen’s house, so I had booked a hotel nearby. We would spend a few days together there, and then go our separate ways again.

“Svyeta.”

Georgi caught hold of my hand. I stopped, drawing a deep breath.

“I never even had the chance to see Seryozha one last time. I didn’t know he was dying. Not a single telegram ever came.”

I clenched my teeth, forcing myself to stop the storm inside me from breaking loose.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I really wanted to see you at the camp, Roman. But I just didn’t have the courage. I just couldn’t bring myself to go.”

“As I’ve told you countless times, Svyeta, you have nothing to apologise for.”

But I shook my head and the words spilled out, jagged and heavy.

“No, Roman — you don’t understand. I failed. I failed to protect anyone or anything. Mother… she’s gone too. All I could do was stand there and watch. First Father died, then Mother, and now even Seryozha is gone! They all slipped away, one by one, and I couldn’t stop any of it!”

My voice cracked under the weight of every loss, each one feeling like it was going to break my chest.

My vision blurred to white and tears streamed down my face unchecked. I had no idea what I could possibly do. I didn’t know how to ease my brothers’ suffering or how to comfort them. I didn’t know how to endure this suffocating despair, nor how to find a way through it.

“Svyeta—what about your arm? How did you get hurt?”

“This… I fell from my bicycle…”

“Still the same. Well, you never did go a day without getting into trouble.”

Roman laughed and offered me his handkerchief. I wiped my tears and forced a smile.