Chapter 4.1 – Not Everything That Shines Is Gold

“Haah!”

Belnez, who had been lying on her bed, suddenly shot up with a gasp and heavy breathing. She couldn’t fall asleep. No matter how utterly exhausted her body was, as soon as she closed her eyes to try to sleep, Erpesto came to mind and woke her.

No matter how much she tried to forget, tossing and turning, his face appeared so vividly before her eyes that she simply couldn’t erase it. After panting for a while, Belnez clutched her head and groaned.

She had been like this ever since Erpesto disappeared. Not only could she not sleep, but whenever she tried to do anything, he kept coming to mind. It was to the point where she could hardly carry on with her daily life.

‘Wait for me, Belnez.’

Wait for what, exactly? All I wanted was an answer that he wasn’t a playboy, but did it really take a whole week just to tell me that? Why?

Perhaps it was just something he said. Maybe, once his playboy identity was discovered, he just blurted out anything and ran away. If that was the case, then no matter how long she waited, he wouldn’t come back.

Even so, Belnez was waiting for him. She kept ruminating on the words he left her with, unable to let go of the faint hope.

Also, just in case—if, by any chance, he really wasn’t a playboy—she even worried that he might have been hurt by the fact that she doubted his sincerity that day.

“Sigh……”

Belnez let out a long sigh and got down from the bed. It seemed she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again tonight. Rather than staying locked up in her room, brooding over gloomy thoughts, she figured it would be better to go outside and walk in the garden, breathing in the night air.

As she left her quarters and headed down the stairs, Belnez paused. There was a faint light coming from the drawing room on the first floor. 

Was someone there? 

As she walked a few more steps and listened closely, she heard quiet voices.

She didn’t even need to see their faces to know who they were. The Adraena couple—in other words, her parents.

“Belnez.”

As soon as she entered the drawing room, her mother, Linda, was the first to notice her. Linda looked a little surprised, then soon gave a bittersweet smile and spoke.

“Couldn’t sleep again?”

“Ah… yes.”

Belnez nodded instinctively, though she was inwardly puzzled. It had been a long time since she’d spoken like this with her mother. Ever since she returned home and they had that fight, things had been cold. She certainly hadn’t mentioned lately that she couldn’t sleep. So, how did she know? Belnez had thought her mother had lost all interest in her by now.

“It’s good you came. There’s something we want to talk about—come sit down.”

Her father, Derek, who was sitting across from her, also gestured for her to sit. 

Why were they acting like this all of a sudden? 

Still feeling awkward, Belnez hesitantly made her way over.

As she sat between the two of them, she unconsciously shrank back. The stares directed at her were a little scary. She worried that she might get scolded again or have to listen to another lecture. Her heart thumped nervously.

But when Derek finally opened his mouth, the words he spoke were nothing like what she expected.

“I’m sorry.”

“…What?”

Belnez, surprised by the unexpected words, looked at her parents with a puzzled expression. The Adraena couple, gazing at her with softened expressions, made it clear that their words were sincere.

Derek let out a deep sigh and spoke again.

“We wanted to send you to the city, of course partly because we hoped our family would form ties with the capital’s nobility… but more than that, we really wanted you to go out and live your own life.”

Linda, sighing as if in agreement, added from beside him.

“You’ve always been interested in culture and the arts since you were little. But here, there isn’t even a small theater, so you never had a chance to experience those things. Girls your age in the city get to choose fancy dresses, attend all sorts of balls, mingle with sophisticated noble children, and enjoy so many cultural and artistic opportunities. If you stayed here, you’d spend your whole life in this rural corner, only knowing such things through books. That thought made us so sad.”

“We worried that maybe we were stifling your potential by keeping you trapped in this small place. We don’t mind living here, but we wanted you, at least, to go out into the world and experience a bigger life. That’s why we thought it would be best if you married a noble from the capital…”

“In the end, I think we got carried away with that wish and forced it on you, without considering how you felt. We’re truly sorry, Belnez.”

“Oh…”

Belnez, flustered by the apology she never expected, just stared blankly at her parents. She never imagined they’d been thinking this way. She’d always thought they only wanted to use her to gain connections with the capital’s nobility.

It wasn’t unreasonable that she’d thought that way until now. Both her parents were so reserved and awkward with their emotions that they rarely even said “I love you” to their children. When they sent her to the capital, they never explained their true intentions. For a daughter who was never sure she was loved, it was only natural to coldly weigh her own value.

Even after she returned home and rebelled, her parents remained silent for half a month. She never imagined they would be the first to apologize and open up about their feelings like this. This was so unlike them. 

What kind of emotional change had they gone through to make them act this way…?

Just as Belnez thought that, Derek suddenly grabbed her hand. He looked at her with such a pained expression that it was almost unsettling.

“Poor thing. You must have been suffering so much that you can’t even sleep these days.”

Linda also clasped Belnez’s other hand, and with her free hand, gently stroked her daughter’s cheek. Her expression was just as sorrowful as her husband’s.

“Look how hollow your cheeks have gotten. You must have been in so much pain, growing thinner every day…”

Belnez, flustered by her parents’ concern, mumbled awkwardly.

“No, that’s….”

No, that was actually for another reason…

But now, with both of them dabbing at their moist eyes with handkerchiefs and even starting to sob, Belnez couldn’t bring herself to explain. She simply bit her lip.

So that’s what it was. They’d misunderstood her sleepless, tormented nights over Erpesto as being caused by their argument that day…

She felt sorry for the misunderstanding she couldn’t correct, but honestly, she was happy. She was glad to realize that she was, in truth, a beloved daughter who was so cared for and worried about.

“I’m the one who should apologize… I’m sorry for making you worry. Thank you for understanding.”

When Belnez finally managed to say that, her parents, having dried their tears, smiled warmly.

“We won’t force anything on you anymore. Your life is yours, so from now on, live as you wish.”

“Whether you go to the city or stay here, do whatever you want. Just make the choices that will make you happy.”

“Whatever you choose, we’ll support you.”

“Belnez, what do you want to do from now on? Tell us.”

“I…”

Belnez, about to answer that question, paused.

What she wanted to do from now on. The choice that would make her happy.

In front of Lotte, she’d said she wanted to find a kind, honest country man here, fall in love peacefully, get married, and build a happy family. It was a resolve she’d made ever since breaking up with Ramon, so she’d been able to say it easily.

But now, those words wouldn’t come out.

Was that really the choice I wanted?

When she asked herself that, the Belnez inside her heart shook her head. No. She’d only thought that was the only path given to her.

She’d always decided things first and tried not to hope. Because she was afraid of being hurt.

She’d never confirmed her parents’ true feelings until now. She wanted to work in opera, but gave up in advance, thinking it was impossible, and never even tried. She’d drawn a line with Erpesto, thinking of him as a playboy. She’d assumed she would never be loved, and didn’t even allow herself a shred of hope.

But now…

“I… For now, I’m going to go back to Kraem.”

Belnez said that, then suddenly stood up.

She didn’t want to just wait here any longer.

For now, she wanted to go to Kraem right away and meet Erpesto again. She wanted to make her feelings clear to him. She wanted to hear his words again. She wanted to stop doubting and try believing in him. Not the rumors, but his appearance right in front of her.

Along with that, she wanted to find a way to work in something related to opera, no matter what it took, and challenge herself.

Even if it was only a one-tenth, or no, even a one-hundredth chance, that would be enough. She wanted to throw herself into it with all her might and see what would happen.

Even if she ended up falling down again, even if she got hurt again, it didn’t matter. She could just cry as much as she wanted and get back up. She wouldn’t regret making that choice.

As soon as the sun rose, she would set out for Kraem.

With that decision made, Belnez ran straight to her room and began packing her things with fierce determination. She also ordered a servant to prepare the carriage. So, the next day, in front of the Adraena Family’s mansion, a carriage was waiting from dawn to take the young lady away.

But that carriage never left for the capital. It was because of an unexpected and sudden visitor.

* * *

Early in the morning, as Belnez was saying goodbye to the Adraena couple and about to get into the carriage, she stopped. She had spotted another carriage racing toward them from far away. Even from a distance, it was so large and splendid that it stood out at a glance. Carriages like this were rare in the countryside, so Belnez tilted her head in curiosity, but soon a sense of foreboding made her frown.

It really did seem like the carriage was heading for this place. No, it was certain. The carriage was approaching with such speed that its size seemed to grow larger and larger before her very eyes.

The moment she could clearly see the shape of the carriage as it drew closer, Belnez felt dizzy. Derek, surely feeling the same, spoke up beside her.

“Why would the Imperial Family’s carriage be here…?”

It was just as he said. The carriage itself was enormous, trimmed with gold at every corner, and bore the Imperial Family’s crest in the center, radiating an overwhelming presence. Only someone of the Imperial Family could dare ride in such a magnificent carriage. There was no doubt—this was the Imperial Family’s carriage.

Belnez watched as the carriage stopped right in front of them and muttered under her breath, almost in a groan.

“Erpesto…?”

As if in response, a young man with blond hair appeared through the open carriage door. Moving with quick yet elegant motions, he stepped down from the carriage and looked at Belnez with a twisted expression. More precisely, he was glaring at her packed luggage and the carriage.

Erpesto strode up and grabbed Belnez’s wrist, pulling her sharply toward him.

“Are you trying to run away again?”

Belnez, caught off guard and pulled close, blinked her wide eyes in surprise. Erpesto, with a serious look on his face, gritted his teeth.

“I told you to wait for me.”

“No, this is…”

“Er.”

Just as Belnez was about to say it wasn’t what he thought, another voice overlapped hers. It was a voice similar to Erpesto’s, but lower and deeper. Belnez instinctively turned her head in that direction, then quickly bowed in shock.

“Your Highness the Crown Prince.”

A young man with the same blond hair and features as Erpesto, but with a stronger, more commanding presence—Orlando Hasmin Bechenia. The First Prince of the Bechenia Empire and the current heir to the throne stood there.

Why was he here, in this remote corner of the Empire…?

The Adraena couple seemed to be thinking the same thing, their faces turning deathly pale as they bowed their heads. Whether he noticed or not, Orlando stood before them and gently scolded his younger brother in a soft voice.

“Er, you shouldn’t do that. You’re frightening the lady.”

“But, brother…”

“Let go of her.”

Erpesto hesitated as if he had more to say, but reluctantly released her wrist. Orlando let out a small sigh, smiled, and then spoke to Belnez.

“It’s good to meet you, Miss Belnez Adraena. May we have a word?”