Chapter 1.7

• You’re so small and chubby, like a little pig.

Of course, she hadn’t liked him since the days he made such teasing remarks.

When her parents suddenly passed away, and her young, inexperienced brother was her only support, the position of the fiancée of the most noble boy in the country might have been advantageous for her family, but not for young Carnier.

Everyone told her she mustn’t make mistakes. If the engagement fell apart, it would spell disaster for her, her brother, and their family.

At first, she found the boy intimidating.

Perhaps sensing this, he brought her small gifts whenever he visited. Sometimes it was a brooch adorned with jewels; other times, flowers from the Imperial garden.

• Why are you so scared? Do you think I’ll eat you or something? I keep calling your a pig, so I thought you actually believed it.

• That’s not it… sniff.

• Why, why are you crying? What did I even say…? Shh. Stop! If your brother sees this, he’ll throw a fit…

• Ugh, this is driving me crazy…

Grumbling all the while, he comforted her, slowly breaking down her defenses.

• I’ll be attending Durendal Academy soon. I won’t be able to visit for a while.

• …How long?

• Three years.

By then, she no longer felt fear but rather a sense of emptiness when he wasn’t around.

At that time, her feelings were akin to the fondness one feels for an older brother.

Her emotions deepened three years later, during the winter she debuted in society at age fourteen.

It was the day she met him again, now twenty-one and freshly graduated from the Empire’s academy with top honors. He had grown taller and seemed unfamiliar, yet his expression remained unchanged as he extended his hand to her.

That was the day Carnier’s world turned upside down.

After listening quietly, Aisha suddenly asked, 

“Now I’m curious—what do you like about him? He’s an impressive man, but he’s also not the easiest person to approach…”

“…”

When no answer came to her lighthearted question, Aisha tilted her head in confusion. After a moment of deep thought, Carnier looked up with a pained expression.

“Can I keep that a secret…?”

“…?”

Aisha likely expected answers like his strikingly masculine features, his dignified voice, his unshakable composure in any situation, or his impeccable manners.

While all those qualities were appealing, the reason Carnier fell for him was…

• It’s been a while, Little Pig.

“Ah…”

“Carnier…?”

She couldn’t bring herself to admit it. That she had been utterly charmed by him calling her “little pig.”

‘That’s just unfair. Keeping a cold face and then suddenly saying something like that…’

It had been her first official appearance in society, escorted by her fiancé. She had been tense, determined not to embarrass herself in front of him.

But then, away from prying eyes, he had smiled secretly and whispered those words.

“…They say when a man looks cute to you, there’s no turning back…”

“Cute…?”

The Crown Prince, cute? 

Aisha couldn’t fathom it, but wisely chose to stay silent. Arguing about what constitutes “cute” with someone in love was a losing battle.

That wasn’t the point here.

“Anyway… I’ll try to let go of my feelings again. As political and strategic partners… so that I can be okay if he ever looks at someone else…”

“That’s not it.”

“What?”

“You’ve tried to let go before, but it didn’t work, did it? Do you think it’ll work now?”

“…”

It felt as though an arrow had struck her heart.

Seeing Carnier at a loss for words, Aisha spoke again.

“If you truly want to move on, tell His Highness the same thing you told me, Carnier.”

“What…?”

Aisha wore the same expression she had when she said earlier, ‘Your happiness is more important to me.’

“Why not just get rejected outright and put an end to your lingering feelings?”

“That… that’s…”

“And don’t think of it as being a burden to His Highness, the Crown Prince.”

Aisha turned her head to look out the window, toward the direction of the Imperial Palace.

“He also has a responsibility for pretending not to notice your feelings all this time. Men, really…”

“…Excuse me? Just now…”

“Oh, did I say that out loud?”

Aisha awkwardly laughed, covering her mouth with a hand. Carnier, looking dazed, lowered her gaze.

“If I confess and get rejected… will I be able to move on?”

“Well, at least…”

Aisha gently patted Carnier’s hand.

“You might gain an opportunity you didn’t have before.”

* * *

Confessing to someone you’ve been trying to let go of all this time required a great deal of courage.

But the idea of confessing properly and being rejected was oddly tempting.

Of course, it was likely she’d receive a cold and firm rejection. Perhaps she’d even hear something more hurtful than his indifferent gaze.

She was afraid, but at the same time, she thought it might allow her to finally move on.

“I… I want to date.”

“…What?”

That didn’t mean she intended to blurt out such a bombshell without any preamble.

‘No, I did show up unannounced, but what kind of response is that?!’

It all started because of what he said before she could even explain her intentions.

• Thank you for allowing this unexpected visit. There’s something I urgently need to discuss with you.

• Alright. What is it? Is it something so serious that the royal wedding must be postponed?

• …

It was an unexpected visit, so it was only natural for him to ask if it was something of great importance. But at that moment, Carnier’s mind replayed a certain irritating voice.

• Whether or not there’s a flaw remains to be seen. After all, it’s highly unusual for an Imperial marriage to be delayed for years without a convincing reason…!’

Without a convincing reason.

“…”

Katrina Eseth’s words were half true and half false. While she might have been probing Carnier for a scandalous reason, Carnier herself had no idea what the reason was.

Originally, it wouldn’t have been strange for her marriage to have taken place when she came of age at sixteen—or even earlier, when her first menstruation began. After all, Imperial marriages were typically arranged early and carried out at a young age.

But her marriage was an exception.

When she was fourteen, she thought it was because she was still too young.

At fifteen, she felt shy about asking when the wedding would take place, so she stayed silent.

At sixteen, when she officially became an adult under Imperial law, she thought, “Finally.” She even hinted at the royal marriage in a letter to him. His reply came with flowers but made no mention of the wedding.

At seventeen, the ailing Empress collapsed. The Council formally proposed the Crown Prince’s marriage, citing the need for someone to manage the Inner Palace in the Empress’s stead. However, the Emperor and the Crown Prince’s lukewarm reactions caused the matter to fizzle out.

At eighteen, whenever they appeared together at official events, people frequently asked about the wedding date. He would reply that it was inappropriate to discuss it while the Empress was unwell. She gave the same answer.

At nineteen, the Empress passed away. Carnier attended the state funeral, but as they were not yet married, she couldn’t stand by his side. Unable to hold his hand during his time of grief, she felt deeply sorrowful.

And now, at twenty, the Duke of Raymore had personally met with His Majesty the Emperor. Only then was the wedding date finally set.

After such a long wait, there were only ten days left until the marriage.

But now…

‘What? Postpone the wedding?’

That implied that if there was a reason, they’d be willing to delay it again. 

Were they not intent on ensuring the marriage proceeded smoothly?

“…I apologize for speaking so hastily. But if I wait any longer, I won’t be able to say this at all.”

“Alright, then tell me clearly… what is it?”

“I want to experience romance before the royal wedding.”

“….”

What she wanted to sort out was her own useless feelings, not the wedding.

And it should have been the same for him as well.

‘Regardless of how you feel about me, this isn’t right. Do you know how many years I’ve waited?’

The longer the wedding was delayed, the more credibility Katrina Eseth’s words would gain. And the more people would spread those words, the more damaging it would become.

For someone who had devoted herself to one person all her life, the idea of unfounded rumors suggesting she had some unspeakable flaw was unbearably unfair.

“…Who?”

“…What?”

At that moment, Servante, who had been processing the situation, asked with a gradually darkening expression.

“And who, exactly, would the partner be?” 

“…”

Now it was Carnier’s turn to feel flustered in front of her fiancé’s serious expression.

‘Who else could it be but you? What do you take me for?!’

Carnier gripped her fan tightly enough to break it. She forced her tightly pursed lips to move softly.

“…Who else could it be, other than the person standing right in front of me?”

“…What?”

His expression turned strange, as if he had just heard the most absurd thing.

And the more he reacted that way, the more Carnier’s insides churned.

‘Is he pretending not to know, or does he really not understand?’

What started as a confession meant to help her move on had somehow turned into a matter of pride.

“I’m sure you’ll need time to think. Take your time to respond.”

Carnier lifted her teacup with deliberate slowness.

“There’s still tea left, after all.”

“…”

She was determined to get an answer before leaving.

Her calm yet resolute demeanor made Servante swallow his words.

She had never behaved like this before, and even he didn’t know how to respond.

In the end, unable to endure the passage of time and the ever-full teacup, he finally opened his mouth.

“…I…”