Chapter 5.1 – To Hell with a Disciplined Romance

The sound of chirping birds echoed in the glass conservatory.

“Aha, so that’s why.”

The light clink of a teacup being set down could be heard. Carnier, her hands resting gently on her lap covered by lace gloves, smiled softly.

“You didn’t tell me the truth because you were afraid I’d hate you, delayed the wedding, and deliberately kept your distance.”

“…Yes.”

There was a saying from the distant East: ‘Having a mouth but no words.’ He had nothing to say in his defense.

Just last night, they had spent a fiery evening at the theater. Having decided there was no point in hiding anything anymore, he planned to confess everything—but he hadn’t expected it to happen the very next day.

When she arrived at the Crown Prince’s palace later than usual, everyone welcomed her as if it were routine, but Servante was caught off guard.

‘I told her to rest for the day, didn’t I…?’

Dressed more elegantly than ever, she simply smiled brightly at him.

• Are you well…?

• Oh, me? I’m perfectly fine. Not a single issue.

• What…?

• If you’re not too busy, may I borrow you for a moment, Your Highness?

• What…? But there’s still work piling up… Mm.

• Hahaha, why wouldn’t it be fine? I was just about to suggest you take a break since the urgent matters are all resolved, Your Highness. Please, take your time and have a leisurely conversation.

• Oh, thank you.

Aide Aleph, who covered the mouth of a clueless subordinate, smiled as he spoke. He was one of the few who knew about the Crown Prince’s late return the previous night.

Carnier, with a radiant smile, took Servante’s hand and led him away. Half-forced into escorting her, he followed with a confused expression, unable to erase the question marks in his mind. The other aides, seeing the unusually stiff Crown Prince, couldn’t hide their puzzled expressions either. Only two people—Aide Aleph and Luca—gave Servante a thumbs-up as he left.

Thus, the two moved to a secluded glass conservatory deep within the Crown Prince’s palace. It was a gift from the late Empress, who had a keen interest in landscaping, and a place where Servante would secretly retreat for quiet moments of rest.

Now, for the first time, Servante felt as though he were sitting on pins and needles in that very place.

Across the table, where light refreshments were laid out, his fiancée reclined lazily on a long chair, fanning herself. Her gaze resembled that of a bird of prey.

“And yet, because you couldn’t bear to send me to another man, you went ahead and set the wedding date.”

“……”

“And despite my brother urging you to trust me, you couldn’t, so you kept delaying and distancing yourself.”

“……”

The more Carnier spoke, the more Servante’s eyebrows drooped.

“I was surprised. Your Highness, you are more… selfish and cowardly than I thought.”

“…That’s true.”

“But you’re quick to admit it.”

Carnier set down her fan and sat upright. Then, pressing her fingertips against his lips, she spoke.

“And yet, these lips were the ones that told me to maintain propriety, to keep my distance, with such cold words.”

“…It was partly directed at myself.”

Servante admitted quietly, letting her continue poking his lips.

“More than anything, when you added the condition of ‘until the wedding,’ it made me think a lot…”

“Pardon?”

“I thought you meant that after the wedding, you’d set aside your feelings for me. It felt like you were confessing and breaking up with me at the same time.”

“Oh…?”

“So I assumed it wasn’t genuine, that it was some calculated romance for mutual gain.”

Her hand, which had been poking his lips, paused. As her eyes wavered, Servante’s eyebrows rose.

“…It seems you hadn’t considered that possibility.”

“Oh, no. I didn’t think it’d be taken that way… No, I assumed you would reject me outright, Your Highness.”

“Why would I reject you? What on earth did the Duke say to you?”

“My brother didn’t tell me anything about your feelings, Your Highness. He only hinted that our parents’ deaths weren’t just accidents…”

“What?”

Now that was something Servante hadn’t expected. His jaw dropped.

“He told you that? Then the culprit…”

The Emperor of this country. My father?

Carnier turned her head slightly, avoiding his gaze, as if answering the unspoken question. She looked northward, where the Emperor’s palace lay. Servante felt his heart sink.

“When… did you find out…?”

“Before the wedding date was set. Maybe…”

Carefully observing his stiffened expression, Carnier added.

“It was probably the day before my brother visited you to request the wedding date, Your Highness.”

“……!”

• Carnier does not wish to break off the engagement with you, Your Highness.

• As I’ve told you many times, Your Highness, you are not our enemy. Even if my sister learns the truth, she will say the same.

‘That man…!’

So that’s why he had been so certain back then.

‘At first, he told me not to tell Carnier…!’

But at the same time, Servante realized something. Tristan had never promised to keep it a secret from him.

“Ha…”

Letting out a hollow sigh, he ran a hand through his hair. Carnier continued.

“I thought you were only maintaining the engagement out of guilt, without any real affection for me, Your Highness. So I assumed you’d reject me if I confessed…”

“…Good grief.”

So, despite knowing everything, his fiancée had harbored feelings for him, mustered up the courage to confess, and he had made baseless assumptions and missteps all along.

Servante couldn’t lift his head. He had no right to blame Tristan for omitting crucial details. As the bridge between Servante and Carnier, Tristan couldn’t possibly confess on his behalf.

Carnier, who had reached a similar conclusion, wore an awkward expression.

“If I had confessed earlier instead of waiting for the wedding, would things have been different…?”

“…No. I should’ve been the one to muster up the courage.”

Servante rubbed his face wearily.

“In the end, I had less courage than you. How pathetic.”

What was the point of being hailed as the Crown Prince? Beneath his dazzling and noble exterior lay a coward who couldn’t even properly confess his feelings to the one he loved.

A coward too afraid to face her rejection or seek her understanding.

He was utterly ashamed of himself. As she glanced at his contemplative face, resting on his hand, Carnier rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, I never imagined the Crown Prince would be like this.”

“……”

“But, you know.”

Rising from her seat, Carnier walked around the table and approached Servante. Leaning in close to his ear, she whispered.

“I like it. Someone who’s only timid when it comes to me.”

“…What?”

“It feels nice, being the one person you can’t handle at will, Your Highness.”

Startled, he turned to look at her, only for her to plant a kiss on his cheek. Her bold action left Servante breathless. Carnier smiled mischievously.

“Does that mean I’m forgiven no matter what I do?”

“…You.”

“Or how about this, Your Highness?”

She reached out her hand to his clenched fist resting on his knee. Gently tapping his tightly curled fingers, she loosened them and interlaced her fingers with his.

“From now on, I’ll be the one to take the first step in showing courage in our relationship. When I do, Your Highness, just don’t avoid me and respond the same way.”

“What?”

“It’s simple. When I say, ‘I love you, Your Highness.’”

Her lips, glowing with a reddish hue, moved tantalizingly close to his ear. Her breath brushed against his skin, leaving a sweet warmth on his face.

“You say, ‘I love you too.’”

“……”

“And when I kiss you, Your Highness…”

The rest of her sentence was left unfinished. Or rather, it didn’t need to be finished.

Carnier welcomed his lips as they suddenly crashed into hers, thinking to herself:

‘You’re not a coward.’

You just don’t know how to begin.

Every gesture he made, every step he took, carried significant weight. As the Crown Prince, his every action was calculated and precise, earning him the reputation of a flawless ruler.

But when it came to deeply personal and private emotions, those couldn’t be controlled like his hands or feet. Sometimes, even he couldn’t figure out what to do with his own heart. Carnier understood this well.

‘You cherished me too much. That’s why it became excessive.’

His self-deprecating words and guilt-ridden expressions only confirmed it further. He treasured her. He valued her so much that he couldn’t bear to hurt her—or be hurt by her.

Because of that, every word and action was restrained. A line was drawn, and while that line created distance, it was better than letting their relationship crumble altogether.

“Mm…”

She let out a soft moan as his tongue traced her delicate inner lips. It was a deep kiss, as though he had been waiting for this moment all along. Her half-closed eyelids fluttered, and his gaze followed her every expression, as if unwilling to miss even the faintest flicker in her eyes.

The man who had claimed to lack courage was persistent and bold. Once the line was crossed, once the dam was broken, he held nothing back. Just as he had the night before, and now again.

Perhaps that was why he had kept his distance and drawn boundaries all this time.