7. Autumn, Winter, and Spring (Part 3)

“This is a problem… I really need to meet him.”  

Since there was only one military facility in Portum, finding where Ethan was stationed wasn’t too difficult. However, Cecilia had overlooked one crucial detail: access to military zones, where security was paramount, was strictly restricted for civilians.  

“I only need a moment…”  

“There are established rules, so I’m afraid it’s a bit difficult. I sincerely apologize for not being able to assist you.”  

“Could you at least let him know I’m here?”  

“I’m sorry, Lady Godwin.”  

Cecilia lowered her head in defeat after pleading with the sentry. She was flustered and unsure of what to do when—  

“Wait. Did you say Lady Godwin?”  

A stranger’s voice came from behind the sentry. The soldier, who had been looking at Cecilia with a sympathetic gaze, turned around and asked,  

“Hayden, do you know her?”  

“No, but the name sounds familiar.”  

A soldier with curly auburn hair stepped forward to stand before Cecilia. He had a cheerful demeanor. With his large, bright eyes, he asked,  

“Are you here to see Ethan Hoffman by any chance?”  

“…Yes, that’s correct.”  

How does he know?  

Cecilia’s thin voice carried a note of suspicion. The man, seemingly unfazed, laughed heartily and extended his hand.  

“Ah, so my memory was right! I’m Ethan’s classmate from the Military Academy. We were also roommates for two years. I never thought I’d get to meet you in person.”  

Caught off guard, Cecilia shook the man’s hand. He shook her hand vigorously up and down and said with a grin,  

“To be honest, I didn’t expect you to be so beautiful.”  

“How do you know about me?”  

“Well, not to brag, but I once happened to sneak a peek at a letter Ethan was writing. I was curious about what he was so engrossed in. Of course, I got caught and was thoroughly scolded. That’s probably why your name stuck with me.”  

The man, who introduced himself as Hayden, flashed a bright smile, revealing his white, even teeth. Glancing at his watch, he furrowed his brows apologetically and said,  

“I’d run to fetch Ethan for you right now if I could, but unfortunately, I’m on duty. However, I’ll make sure to tell him tonight when I see him at the dormitory.”  

“Oh, thank you so much.”  

A sigh of relief escaped Cecilia’s lips. At this moment, even such a small favor felt overwhelmingly heartwarming. She wrote down the address of the inn where she was staying on a small piece of paper and handed it to Hayden, who folded it twice and tucked it into his pocket.  

As Cecilia turned to leave with a lighter step, Hayden called out to her.  

“Ah, Lady Godwin.”  

Cecilia turned back. Hayden scratched his chin with his thumb and said,  

“I can’t say for sure since he doesn’t go every day, but there’s a place Ethan often visits. He tends to go there in the evenings.”  

Cecilia’s eyes lit up, and she quickly asked,  

“Where is it?”  

“There’s a small lumberyard near the back gate, down an alley. It might be a little hard to find, though.”  

“That’s fine. I’m not bad at finding my way.”  

“As you might know, he has a habit of carving wood whenever his mind is troubled. Lately, he’s been working with his hands whenever he gets the chance, so he must have a lot on his mind.”  

Cecilia’s nose stung, and her throat tightened.  

“…Thank you so much.”  

On her way to the lumberyard, Cecilia replayed Hayden’s words in her mind. She could vividly picture Ethan sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, carving wood with a soft scraping sound.  

Why were you so troubled? Would it be wishful thinking to believe that I was part of your thoughts? Am I being overly hopeful, feeling this excited already?  

Her head swirled with unanswered questions.  

The sound of her slightly heavy footsteps echoed through the narrow alley. She tried her best to lift her gaze, which kept wanting to drop to the ground.  

Then, someone emerged from a side alley and blocked her path. Lost in thought, Cecilia nearly bumped into the person before stopping herself just in time. Out of habit, she opened her mouth to apologize.  

“Oh, I’m sor—”  

“…Cecilia?”  

She froze.  

Her name rang out from above her head. It was a voice she knew all too well.  

Cecilia, standing stiffly, slowly lifted her gaze. The backlight made it hard to see his face clearly, but it was undoubtedly him. It was Ethan.  

She called his name in a voice choked with emotion.  

“…Ethan.”  

At the sound of his name, Ethan let out a sigh that sounded almost like a groan. He ran a hand roughly over his face, turned to look behind him, then scanned Cecilia from head to toe, unable to hide his surprise. After a long silence, he finally asked in a trembling voice,  

“Is it really… you?”  

Cecilia slowly nodded.  

“Yes, it’s me.”  

Ethan stood frozen, unable to believe Cecilia’s sudden appearance before him. After opening and closing his mouth several times, he finally managed to squeeze out a few words.  

“Why… No, how…?”  

“Because I missed you.”  

Her voice cracked at the end.  

“I missed you so much, I wanted to hold on to you. That’s why I came.”  

Ethan inhaled sharply. Standing against the light, his expression was veiled in shadow, making it hard to discern. Cecilia wanted to know what expression he wore in response to her words, but at the same time, she was afraid to find out.  

“I know showing up like this is inconsiderate… I know it’s rude and might cause trouble for you.”  

“……”  

“But I had something I absolutely had to say.”  

The alley, where even the wind had stilled, was so quiet that the sound of swallowing echoed loudly. The prolonged silence gnawed away at the last remnants of Cecilia’s courage. His delayed response felt like a bad omen.  

Still, she had no intention of running away. She didn’t want to turn back with her feelings left unspoken. Taking a deep breath, Cecilia closed her eyes tightly and mustered her courage.  

“I love you.”  

“……”  

“Ethan, I love you.”

A sensation as though time had stopped pierced through the two of them. Cecilia kept her eyes closed, but she could feel through the air that the man standing before her was extremely tense at that moment. A chill ran down the nape of her neck, exposed above her clothes.

“I thought I’d be fine when you left since you only stayed for a single season. I thought I could somehow endure it. I believed my life wouldn’t be much different from before I knew you…”

Cecilia clenched her trembling hands into fists in an attempt to hide the shaking. Her voice kept breaking, but she didn’t stop speaking.

“And in truth, it was like that. I returned to the life I had before I met you. I ate my meals regularly, went to work, and mediated for hours whenever Mer and Vivi got into fights…”

“……”

“My life was exactly the same as it was before I knew you. I lived like that for years… but strangely enough, I couldn’t bear it.”

She whispered as though letting out a sigh.

“I couldn’t breathe.”

Cecilia’s long eyelashes quivered as she slowly opened her eyes. She gathered her courage and met the gaze of the man standing before her.

“I know my answer is too late. I also know that you have a life you’ve worked so hard to build, and that life is too beautiful for you to abandon it all for me. My words might sound uncomfortable and burdensome to you…”

The man’s handsome face filled Cecilia’s vision. His neatly shaped forehead and straight nose beneath his slightly short hair. The deep, beautiful eyes under his slightly protruding brow bones. His golden eyes, reminiscent of melted sunlight, and his moderately full lips.

Tears began streaming down Cecilia’s face. As she finally looked directly at Ethan’s face, her chest felt like it was collapsing. She realized, all at once, just how much she had missed him, how much she had longed for this moment of meeting his gaze again.

Her emotions were so clear now that she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t known before. She wanted him. She had been suffering from an unbearable fever of love, unable to endure even a month without him.

“If it’s not too late, if my love still holds any meaning for you…”

Cecilia took a deep breath. She looked straight into Ethan’s eyes and confessed.

“I want you to stay by my side for the rest of your life. Even after summer ends, I want to stay with you.”

“Cecilia.”

“I’m greedy. One summer isn’t enough for me.”

Cecilia extended her hand toward Ethan. His gaze fell on her small hand, which was trembling so visibly that it was noticeable even in the dim light.

“I want your autumn, your winter, your spring—all of it.”

Give me everything.

Before Cecilia could even finish her words, a warm touch enveloped her hand. Ethan grasped her hand firmly and pulled her toward him with force.

“……!”

Cecilia’s cheek was pressed against his solid chest, and his strong arms wrapped around her in an instant. Her body, which had been cold from the crisp autumn air, melted into the sudden warmth.

As his familiar scent filled her lungs, tears streamed uncontrollably down her face. The stiff navy uniform he wore became damp in a circular patch, and the arms around her back tightened even more. Holding her so tightly that it was hard for her to breathe, Ethan responded in a trembling voice.

“There’s no need for that.”

“Ethan.”

“My autumn, my winter, my spring… they were already yours.”

Ethan loosened his hold on her slightly and looked directly into her eyes as he confessed.

“And if there are any other seasons, I’ll give those to you as well.”

With that, Ethan bent down and kissed her lips at an angle. His hot, slightly rough lips brushed against hers, grazing them. Cecilia clung to his arms, parting her lips to accept him.

Though they had been apart for a month, her body remembered him perfectly. Cecilia trembled slightly, overwhelmed by the sense of fulfillment that came from feeling the empty void within her finally being filled. The sound of her heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears.

By the time Cecilia’s entire body was flushed and the strength in her arms around him began to loosen, Ethan finally let her go. With a flushed face, he whispered,

“It all feels like a dream. I wanted to confirm it, but now it feels even less real.”

Ethan lowered his long eyelashes and lightly held her waist.

“If it’s a dream, I hope I never wake up.”

“It’s not a dream, Ethan.”

Cecilia reached out and cupped his face. Her fingers brushed over his slightly thinner cheeks, and she smiled faintly.

“But if you’re still unsure, confirm it as much as you want. I’ll give you all the time I have left.”

Standing on her tiptoes, Cecilia gently pressed her lips against his. It was the beginning of a long, enduring love.