***

The next day, I was summoned to the Count’s drawing room. The Count, visible behind the dignified-looking desk, had a stern face but somehow seemed to be deep in thought.

“I heard things are going well. Dawson’s abilities are more outstanding than I thought.”

“Well, yes, I suppose so.”

By now, I had become accustomed to his attitude of only praising Dawson and just went along with it. The Count raised his head and stared at me.

“So, what do you plan to do once this is all finished?”

“Well, I’ll be 18 when this year ends, so I’d like to leave then. I’m thinking about where to go slowly.”

“I see, you’ll be an adult at 18.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

The Count was silent for a while. I just counted the patterns on the wall, thinking about other things. Is that a gourd vase or a flower vase? Are they the same thing?

As my thoughts were about to drift to strange places, the Count hesitantly opened his mouth. It was an uncharacteristic hesitation.

“Have you decided who you’ll take with you?”

“I’m not sure yet. I might want to surround myself with entirely new people who don’t know me.”

I want to take Irena with me, but I don’t know her intentions yet, so I decided to talk about it after it’s certain. I didn’t want her to be in a difficult position if she didn’t follow me.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. May I leave now?”

He nodded. As I was getting up with his permission, the Count suddenly called out to me.

“Lora.”

“Yes?”

“Never mind. You may go.”

He seemed about to say something more but then tightened his lips and turned his head towards the desk. I stared at him blankly for a moment before turning and walking out the door. I could see through his inner thoughts, but I pushed them aside without thinking about them further.

***

A few days later, it was time for another family dinner. I dragged my heavy body to the dining table after procrastinating as much as possible, but for some reason, my half-brothers didn’t pick fights today. So I just happily cut my meat. Just as I was about to put a properly sized piece of steak in my mouth, the Countess suddenly spoke to me.

“Lorazie, you’ll be of age next year, shouldn’t you start preparing for your debut in society?”

“No, I have no intention to.”

I’m going to leave anyway. I firmly rejected it. Then Calix, the eldest, started to criticize me for the first time in a while.

“Lora, is that how you speak to Mother?”

The Countess also frowned, seeming to be gearing up. It looks like there’s going to be trouble from both sides today. I put down the fork I was holding with a clatter. I decided to start by politely correcting the manner of speech that Calix had pointed out.

“Umm, Countess. I’m sorry, but I have no intention of making my debut in society. Is that better?”

Of course, the sarcastic tone and the raised corner of my mouth were a bonus. As Calix was about to open his mouth with a frown, the Countess spoke first.

“Lora, as long as you’re a member of the Count’s family, you must fulfill your duties. That is if you don’t intend to bring shame to my face. I’ve arranged a place for you at Countess Amone’s tea party next week, ahead of the New Year’s party. Be prepared.”

It was a very elegant and dignified tone. I took my eyes off the Countess and quietly stared at the Count. It was time for him to keep his promise. The Count, who had been looking at me with wavering eyes, opened his mouth.

“My dear, Lora will not make her debut in society. I have an agreement with her.”

“What did you say? You, who secretly brought in a child of unknown origin and made me a pitiful wife, now intend to make me look like a wicked stepmother by not letting my stepdaughter debut in society?”

A child of unknown origin. My fighting spirit ignited after a long time.

“That’s not it. Lora will soon-“

“Enough. It’s too late to remove Lorazie’s name from the tea party list now. She must attend this time no matter what. This is not just about me, but also about that child’s reputation.”

The Countess cut off the Count’s words and spat out her own rapidly. The Count closed his mouth at her words. He was somewhat agreeing with the Countess’s explanation. They were people who cared more about reputation. Even more than the foreseeable things I would endure at the tea party. After inwardly sneering, I ran my hand through my hair once.

“Countess, Count. Please don’t fight because of me. I’ll attend this tea party since the Countess has gone through so much trouble to arrange a place for me.”

“Really?”

“But this won’t happen again. I won’t make my debut in the capital’s society. As the Countess said, it’s obvious they’ll point fingers saying someone of unknown origin dared to enter.”

“You…!”

As the Countess flared up at my words, the Count restrained her.

“My dear, that’s enough. That child will be leaving soon.”

“Leaving?”

“What do you mean, Father?”

The Countess and Lindel, the second son, asked with wide eyes. Calix remained quiet, so it seemed the Count had only hinted at this to him, the eldest.

“I have an agreement with her. She asked to leave the family if the business she proposed went well.”

“Business?”

“What… How can an unmarried noble lady live alone outside?”

“Enough. In any case, that’s how it is.”

After the Count’s late surprise announcement, dinner time became a time of silence. Everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts, as if unsure whether the food was going into their noses or mouths. As always, I skipped dessert and got up first.

Thump, thump- As I walked down the corridor, I heard footsteps behind me and turned around. Calix had followed.

“Lorazie, are you really planning to leave?”

“Of course. Why would I want to stay here? There’s not a single reason for me to stay in this place.”

“No reason, you say. What if a reason arises?”

I was about to turn back when I paused at his words. Then I smiled brightly.

“At this point? It’s already too late, brother.”

“…I see.”

I turned my back without hesitation, leaving him standing there silently.

***

The next day, I pushed away the greens on the table with my fingertips.

“I’m not eating this. Bring me meat.”

“My lady…”

I had no intention whatsoever of going through hellish dieting again just for a gathering where people sip tea, nibble on cookie crumbs, and gossip.

“What design would you like? This is the latest fashionable dress.”

I threw the dress catalog behind the sofa as well.

“No, I’m not getting a dress fitted.”

“My lady…”

The dresses would just be luggage when I leave the Count’s family anyway. It was most convenient to just take cash when leaving. The maids looked distressed and didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t care. I hated this too much. Thanks to my strong refusal, I was able to skip dieting, dress fitting, and skin care altogether.