Chapter 14: Decided to Disappear (Part 2)

After that day, Elizabeth fell ill for three days and nights. It was because her mind and body had broken after Kiern embraced her like an untamed horse with its reins cut loose. For three days, she endured, needing as much time to recover. Her lower body was sore to the point of numbness.

During her time in bed, she barely survived on the water he provided, having no proper meals. Her entire body felt like it was burning. She was so exhausted that she wished her soul and body could separate.

As she lay there, Elizabeth felt herself breaking. It hurt terribly, yet ironically, she was relieved to feel the pain. She feared that Kiern might come back. If she were walking around normally, he would surely come back and ruin her again.

It was better to lie sick in bed than to be with Kiern. Not only had he destroyed himself, but he had also ruined her.

He had wrecked her life and taken her breath away. He had made her feel like there was no value in breathing anymore. She had tried and tried to endure, but she had reached her limit.

It was strange. She used to feel happy just being by Kiern’s side, but now, she felt miserable whenever she was near him. She even thought she might be happy if she weren’t by his side. How must she feel to think such things?

Was there any meaning in living like this?

Wouldn’t everything be easier if I died?

Elizabeth stared at the scenery outside through the curtains. Seeing the greenery outside reminded her of someone.

‘Ah.’

Elizabeth belatedly remembered Theo Kabil. She recalled how she kissed Kiern in front of him right after his confession. The memory made her unable to lift her head.

‘He must have been disappointed.’

He was one of the few people who had looked at her with warm, unbiased eyes, and the thought made her heart ache. She was overcome with belated regret. At the very least, she shouldn’t have acted that way in front of him.

Even in a situation she had deemed inevitable, she hadn’t considered Theo’s position. Back then, when she was already cornered, all she could do was focus on appeasing Kiern.

Looking at the lush green trees, Elizabeth thought of Theo’s eyes. She remembered how he had looked at her with contempt before walking away.

With a sigh, Elizabeth unconsciously reached out toward the drawer where she had hidden the communication stone, only to flinch and withdraw her hand. Even if she explained herself now, nothing would change.

She was the Duke’s hidden mistress, while Theo was a self-made man with a bright future ahead. Surely, he must be furious, thinking he had been played by a seductress. There was no need to contact him and further disturb his emotions.

In fact, it was better this way. By now, any affection he had for her would have been completely erased. It was better for her to be labeled a seductress than to ruin yet another person’s life.

Perhaps, by now, Theo even regretted ever liking her. As Elizabeth idly fiddled with the drawer, she decided to return the communication stone.

‘It would be better to send it as a parcel since meeting him in person would be awkward.’

Elizabeth began to think of the things she needed to sort out, one by one. She intended to leave nothing of hers behind in this place. Entering empty-handed and leaving empty-handed seemed like the fitting conclusion for Elizabeth Lua. If only Stella hadn’t harbored such excessive greed, things might have been different.

How laughable. What was the point of thinking about such things now?

Elizabeth, feeling sentimental, forced herself to shut the door on her emotions, locking them tightly. Surprisingly, her heart seemed to grow numb.

Once she resolved to disappear, everything became easier. The suffocating issues that had once seemed overwhelming no longer felt as heavy.

A life like dust should return to dust.

She vowed to leave no trace behind. She would disappear so thoroughly that no one would remember there had ever been a person named Elizabeth Lua in this world.

It was at that moment that a knock sounded, and someone entered. It was Eddie Partridge, who served as Kiern’s aide. He was a familiar face, often relaying the Duke’s words. When Elizabeth tried to rise from the bed, he stopped her with a hand gesture.

“You may remain seated, Miss Elizabeth.”

“Pardon?”

Elizabeth, who had assumed she would be taken to Kiern, awkwardly sat back down on the bed. Eddie, his face shadowed with fatigue, adjusted his glasses and spoke.

“I was instructed to check on your condition.”

“Not to bring me to him directly?”

“Yes. Ah, I also have a few messages to relay.”

Eddie pulled out a notebook and continued.

“He advised you to take your medicine properly since your body is more damaged than expected, and to refrain from going outside for the time being.”

“Not forbidden?”

“…Yes. It’s not mandatory, so if you feel stifled, you may go out.”

Eddie awkwardly smiled, as if taken aback by her unexpected question. He found himself feeling sorry for her, especially since she seemed to naturally expect restrictions.

How much pain must she have endured? 

She seemed even more gaunt than the last time he had seen her. After all, the Duke’s gaze that day had been so intense that it wouldn’t have been surprising if he had killed someone.

The sight of his master’s subtly deranged expression had been so shocking that Eddie had briefly considered resigning. Yet, after those three days, the Duke had returned to an eerily calm state. His once emotional decisions had become strikingly rational.

Eddie didn’t know what had transpired between the two during those three days, but he could only hope that no incident beyond his control would occur. After delivering a few more instructions, Eddie moved on to the main point.

“And you no longer need to work as Lady Abigail’s maid. Please return to your previous routine, Miss Elizabeth.”

“Pardon?”

“Lady Abigail will no longer summon you.”

Although his words were meant to reassure her, Elizabeth’s face turned pale. Eddie, puzzled by her reaction, watched as she desperately grabbed his sleeve.

“By any chance… Did Lady Abigail say anything?”

“Did something happen?”

“Well…”

As Elizabeth hesitated, Eddie seemed to realize something and spoke.

“If it’s about Lady Anna Trisha, you don’t need to worry. The Duke has already taken care of it.”

Elizabeth urgently latched onto his words, curious about how it had been handled.

“He took care of it? H-how?”

Surely, Anna wouldn’t have let the matter slide. Convincing such an upright and righteous woman would have required nothing but the truth.

Elizabeth grew anxious, wondering if Anna had discovered everything about her and Stella. It was ironic to worry about such things when she had already resolved to die, but for now, she couldn’t help it.

Eddie sighed deeply, watching her tremble and grow pale. 

How much had she been pushed to the brink that she seemed ready to crumble over such a matter?

No, she already seemed like a collapsed fortress. 

The warmth that had once defined Elizabeth was now entirely gone. She seemed withered and shriveled. Yet, as a mere aide, there wasn’t much Eddie could say to her. He responded matter-of-factly.

“There’s nothing for you to worry about, Miss Elizabeth.”

“…”

“I’m not authorized to share the details, so there’s nothing you’ll gain by questioning me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Flustered, she let go of his sleeve, and Eddie gave a brief bow before leaving. Elizabeth, staring blankly after him, let out a deep sigh.