<Chapter 9> Preparing to Leave (Part 2)

That morning, when the family meeting was unexpectedly delayed, Kiern felt a sudden gap in his schedule.

Since some time ago, if he wasn’t doing something, he felt empty and threw himself into work like a madman. The sudden free time made Kiern uncomfortable.

The outside scenery, with puffy clouds in the bright blue sky, was very peaceful.

Feeling bored with the peace that was different from his noisy insides, his secretary, Eddie Partridge, spoke.

“There’s a message that Lady Anna hasn’t been seen around lately.”

“Oh.”

Kiern let out a small exclamation at the name he had forgotten. Lady Anna was an old lady who had been close to his mother.

She was the matriarch of a self-made family and, after retiring, established a monastery to practice her devoutness.

He used to visit her monastery often with his mother since he was young. It had been a long time since he last visited.

“She’s said to be unwell.”

“They’re telling me to show my face.”

Kiern smiled faintly and ordered a carriage to be prepared. He impulsively decided to visit Lady Anna.

He wasn’t surprised to see Lady Anna walking around just fine. He had come knowing he was being tricked.

But he never dreamed that Elizabeth would be there, so Kiern forgot about reading to the child and just stared at her.

Elizabeth, standing at a distance, was watching him. Her expression seemed to say, ‘Even the heavens are indifferent; why is he here?’ It amused him.

She didn’t seem to have the courage to leave, so she awkwardly approached. Lady Anna, standing beside her, also known as Sister Beatrix here, spoke.

“Isaac, learn from Julia.”

Kiern shrugged at the old lady’s sudden nagging. Being called Isaac made him feel like a student at the monastery. It was as if the young master of a powerful family, who might soon become a Duke, was nowhere to be found in this place.

The familiarity of this space, as if there was no hell and only heaven, naturally relaxed his nerves.

“Learn what?”

Kiern tilted his head and asked, and Beatrix replied.

“Julia regularly visits here and dedicates herself to God.”

“But Beatrix, I’ve shown my faith with enough money.”

“God sees the heart more than wealth. In that sense, Julia is a model of a good servant of God.”

As Beatrix praised her, Elizabeth, called Julia, didn’t know what to do and lowered her gaze.

“Isaac must have wanted to come here in his heart.”

“No, I didn’t.”

Kiern replied bluntly to the words defending him. It was such a curt response that the child playing beside him was surprised and stared at him.

Elizabeth finally turned her big eyes to Kiern, her expression asking what he was thinking. Kiern chuckled and said,

“You shouldn’t lie to God. I’m uncomfortable coming here, Beatrix.”

“Kiern!”

Elizabeth muttered lowly, but Kiern continued speaking.

“This place isn’t comfortable for me. I’m sure you understand why, Lady.”

“Isaac…….”

“So if you want to see me, invite me to a formal dinner. I’ll show my face anytime, as long as it’s not here.”

With that, Kiern stood up. Leaving the book he was reading to the child, Elizabeth followed him as he was about to get into the carriage.

It was just as he was about to close the carriage door.

“Wait, Kiern!”

At those words, Kiern paused. He looked at her silently, as if asking if she had something to say, and Elizabeth got into the carriage.

Once the door closed, they were completely alone. Elizabeth placed her hands neatly on her lap and said,

“I didn’t expect you to come here. You haven’t been here once since that day.”

That day referred to the day the Duchess died. Elizabeth knew how rude it was for him to leave Beatrix like that, so she wanted to stop him.

But it seemed to have only provoked him. Kiern replied coldly.

“I didn’t expect you to still come here.”

“If I suddenly stopped coming, the children here would be disappointed.”

“Is that a reproach for me, who hasn’t come?”

“It’s not like that.”

Elizabeth pitied him for hearing everything in a twisted way. The usual cigar smell didn’t come from him. He had even sprayed perfume to cover any possible cigar scent.

She knew it was his rule to consider the children and the elderly.

Kiern loved this place that much. As much as the Duchess. But sometimes, when you love something too much, there are times you don’t want to go.

Elizabeth didn’t want to leave Beatrix and Kiern misunderstanding each other.

“Let’s go back. Since we’re already here, leaving like this will sadden Beatrix. And you won’t feel good either.”

“What do you know about my feelings?”

Kiern glared at Elizabeth irritably. Then, out of habit, he fumbled in his pocket and put a cigar in his mouth. But without lighting it, he spoke with the cigar in his mouth.

“Are you trying to act like a saint, kind Miss Elizabeth?”

“I just want the two of you to get along.”

“I’ll handle it myself. Don’t overstep.”

“……Okay, I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth felt it was no use and stood up. Just then, Kiern, in a bad mood, stretched his leg to block her path. When Elizabeth flinched, Kiern said,

“Stop hovering in front of me. There’s nothing more annoying than someone who says they’re leaving but keeps hanging around.”

“This time, you hovered in front of me. I was originally scheduled to come here.”

“Then why did you follow me?”

“Because you looked distressed. But it was unnecessary interference. It would have been better to comfort Beatrix instead of you.”

With those words, Elizabeth tried to leave, even if she had to step over his long legs.

At that moment, Kiern grabbed her wrist and pulled her. In the narrow carriage, Elizabeth, losing her balance, fell into his arms.

Just as she was about to ask what he was doing, Elizabeth closed her mouth. Kiern looked angry.

“Who said I was distressed? You’re the one who avoided me with a gloomy face.”

“I was trying to avoid making things uncomfortable for both of us.”

“Didn’t you think that was more uncomfortable?”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

Elizabeth, feeling frustrated, glared at him. Her emotions surged, threatening to topple her sandcastle. Elizabeth said,

“You might be fine seeing my face, but I’m not.”

“…….”

“You say you hate me, but I keep liking you. So if you won’t let me avoid you, what am I supposed to do?”

At Elizabeth’s honest confession, Kiern looked at her silently. Her clear eyes were already blurred.

Tears welled up, ready to fall at the slightest touch, stirring Kiern’s emotions.

She smelled of fresh roses. The scent was so strong, like a potent perfume, that Kiern frowned.

Mixed with his deep woody scent, it seemed to provoke each other even more. Elizabeth pushed him away and said,

“So even if I’m uncomfortable, please bear with it a little. I won’t be coming here anymore, even if you don’t say it.”

That meant she was determined to leave. Kiern clenched his fist as he watched Elizabeth move away.

He felt empty again. The loneliness he had momentarily forgotten while arguing with her and holding her, albeit forcefully, surged back to swallow him. Finding it absurd, Kiern laughed at himself.

“Stupid bastard.”

* * *

Elizabeth returned to Beatrix and comforted her shocked heart. Beatrix, who was always polite, seemed uneasy about Kiern’s outburst and departure.

“I think I did something wrong. I only thought he’d miss this place, not that he’d find it distressing.”

“When love is great, so is the pain. Don’t worry too much, Beatrix.”

“By the way, you’re immigrating? Won’t you tell me where you’re going?”

“I’ll send a letter once I settle down.”

“Living in a foreign country won’t be easy. Living as a foreigner isn’t as easy as it seems. You’ll surely miss this place.”

“Will I?”

Elizabeth could only smile brightly, unable to explain the reason for her immigration as an escape. She, too, loved this Kingdom of Yelhen. Especially the capital, Lapton, was practically her hometown.

But as long as she stayed here, she couldn’t avoid hearing about Kiern. And each time, she’d miss him.

He was right. Maybe she was running away. Under the pretense of removing a disgrace that could explode at any moment, she was running from him.

From her heart and from Kiern.

Once the news stopped and the distance grew, her heart would grow distant too.

Elizabeth decided not to hesitate any longer. It was time to leave.