Chapter 4

The heart that intended to read lightly suddenly grew heavy.  

Olivia hesitated while holding the letter in her hand.  

It was because the tone was different from usual.  

Normally, the unnamed gentleman would list minor mistakes.  

For example, when he commented on her coming out to see him off in the morning, it wasn’t a reproach but a story about how he wished she could sleep longer since she loved her morning rest.  

Or when he handed her money, it wasn’t to humiliate her but to encourage her to buy whatever she wanted without hesitation.  

Sometimes, there were small daily conversations they shared, joyful stories, or dreams he wished to achieve.  

But this time, it was different.  

To lose a child…  

「Our daughter.  

Do you remember the day we met Lerry too soon?  

The day you first told me you had a craving for something to eat.  

I left the house with joy, never expecting that something would happen in that brief moment.  

The doctor said it would be over a month before we could meet our Lerry, didn’t he?  

Ah, does saying this sound like I’m blaming the doctor?  

I must be precise.  

You consumed the poison that was prepared to harm me.  

Even now, I vividly recall that day with horror.  

Of all times, there was an accident on the road, cars and carriages were blocked, and by the time I returned home, I heard the news of the stillbirth.  

Liv, I’m sorry.  

If only I hadn’t left that day, if only I hadn’t been so excited and gone myself.」

The letter was already soaked with tears.  

And over it, Olivia’s tears continued to fall.  

The wet letter turned mushy and fragile.  

「I’m sorry for not being a good husband.  

Surely, meeting me must have been the greatest misfortune of your life.  

Even knowing that, I couldn’t let you go.  

Even as I watched you broken after losing our child, I thought it was better for you to live by my side, even in such a state.  

I can confidently say that was the worst decision of my life.  

If I had known that this thought would lead you to your death as the first step,  

I would never have entertained such thoughts.  

At the end of October 1820.」

Having read the letter to its end, Olivia burst into tears.  

Not because she pitied him, but because she realized there was no gap between ‘Olivia’ and the unnamed gentleman.  

She never dared dream of being with him—she was certain of that.  

Yet the words in the letter blurred as Olivia’s tears soaked them. She couldn’t muster the strength to write a reply.  

Was it anger at the emptiness?  

Loss? Envy?  

Or pity for him? She couldn’t pinpoint the reason.  

She spent days lying like that.  

She didn’t write a reply, and perhaps she wished no more letters would come.  

But the unnamed gentleman’s letters didn’t cease.  

Every morning, when she saw the letter in her hand, Olivia couldn’t help but burst into tears.  

***

Olivia began writing replies again after an alliance was formed with Silvest.  

To conclude, Frenchia and Silvest did not form a marriage alliance.  

It was true that such discussions had taken place, but Silvest lacked a high-ranking noble for the alliance.  

Thus, the focus shifted to discussions about goods, exports, and imports.  

It was an alliance that took a whole month to finalize.  

Olivia stared blankly at the 30 letters piled up. She had no idea where to start reading.  

She hesitated for a moment.  

“…I can just start reading them now, can’t I?”  

Olivia didn’t bother opening the previous letters.  

The first reason was that she didn’t want to delve deeply into his love.  

The second was that she didn’t want to be swayed by emotions she couldn’t define herself.  

After taking a few deep breaths, Olivia opened the letter that arrived today. The envelope tore with a “rip” sound, its unevenness resembling her own heart, making her feel a little melancholic.  

But only briefly, as the sight of the unnamed gentleman’s letter brought back a ticklish feeling that made her heart leap again.  

「To My Beloved Olivia,  

Liv.  

How have you been?」  

As always, it was a kind beginning.  

She knew that the one he was asking how she was doing wasn’t her, ‘Via’, but ‘Liv.’  

Yet, the unnamed gentleman’s question felt like it was directed at her, creating the illusion.  

How have you been? Why haven’t you replied?  

“…Yes, I’ve been well.”  

Olivia forced a smile and muttered.  

To avoid showing her subdued voice, she spoke in a higher tone than usual. Even though he couldn’t hear her words, she instinctively acted that way.  

“Did you know? The marriage alliance didn’t happen. I wondered if you might be from Silvest, but it was a foolish thought…”  

As she spoke, Olivia bit her lip tightly.  

“I’m so curious about who you are.”  

Perhaps she was crazier than the eccentric teacher she had heard about.  

At least he lived in reality, while she was being swayed by mere letters.  

「I’ve been organizing things here lately.  

The end of spring we promised each other will soon come. I hope next year’s spring won’t be as long as this year’s. That way, Liv, we can see the end of spring we promised each other.  

…Ah, the war is almost over.  

Are you curious about the situation in Frenchia? Then today, let me share that story with you.  

Where should I begin?  

Frenchia lost the war.  

Silvest didn’t aid them, so it was a natural outcome.  

Would you be angry if you knew Silvest didn’t help your homeland?  

Still, can you let it slide this time? Because of them, I lost you.  

…Perhaps the Marquis of Bianche also wished for Frenchia’s downfall.  

Have you met your parents?  

How is it there? Is it a little, just a little comfortable?  

Oh dear, I couldn’t contain myself, and the letter became a mess. I’m sorry.  

The thought of spending the year-end without you is harder than usual this time.  

But don’t worry, I’m still holding on.  

After all, I have to wait for the spring we promised each other.  

At the end of November 1820.」

Even after reading the letter in its entirety, Olivia remained silent for a long time.  

Too much information had come in, so she re-read the letter several times, slowly digesting it.  

Finally, she recognized a familiar name.  

“Sil…vest?”  

It was the country that almost formed a marriage alliance with her.  

Realizing this, Olivia felt a chill run down her spine.  

With a rattling noise, her chair slid back. She hurriedly opened the door and walked down the corridor.  

Her initially slow steps quickened, and she ran until she was out of breath, arriving at the Marquis of Bianche’s study.  

Olivia wasn’t sure why she sought out her father. She didn’t know exactly what she wanted to find out.  

Without catching her breath, she flung open the study door.  

Despite Olivia’s discourteous behavior, the Marquis of Bianche welcomed her with a kind smile.  

“Via?”  

Olivia’s face, pale and breathless, made the Marquis rise from his seat.  

But upon hearing her question, he sat back down.  

“…Father. When discussions about the marriage alliance were taking place, who was mentioned from Silvest?”  

The Marquis frowned at Olivia’s question.  

He didn’t like it.  

Unaware of her father’s feelings, Olivia poured out unorganized questions.  

She still didn’t know what answer she wanted to hear.  

“Why do you ask?”  

“They said there were no nobles to marry from that side. Was it because all the high-ranking nobles or royalty were already married?”  

The Marquis of Bianche reluctantly answered Olivia’s rapid-fire questions.  

“That’s not it. The Grand Duke of Hester passed away from pneumonia, so the matter was dropped. Isn’t that fortunate? The timing was just right. Ah, the Grand Duke’s proposal letter should still be here. I suppose it’s time to burn it now.”  

Standing by the door, Olivia strode toward the Marquis’s desk.  

The Marquis pulled out the elaborate proposal letter from the first drawer.  

An attached portrait fluttered out and fell to Olivia’s feet.  

Her gaze naturally shifted downward.  

Black hair rare in Frenchia, deep brown eyes of unfathomable depth, and a solid figure visible beyond the portrait.  

Thud, her heart sank.  

Along with it came inexplicable pain.  

Olivia snatched the proposal letter from the Marquis’s hand and tore it open.  

“Via! What are you doing?”  

The Marquis scolded her, but she read the neat handwriting in the proposal letter.  

It was written in a translated format, as if unfamiliar with Frenchian.  

Olivia recognized the handwriting.  

She couldn’t fail to recognize it, as dozens of letters with the same handwriting were piled up in her room.  

At that moment, Olivia’s legs gave way.  

She collapsed to the floor before the Marquis could catch her.  

“Why… How?”  

She recognized it at once.  

How could she not recognize the only trace of the one who had brought her such intense emotions over the past few months?  

Olivia felt dizzy.  

Everything was strange, from start to finish.  

Who, why, from where, and how had someone sent her letters? She didn’t know.  

And yet, until yesterday, the one sending her letters was someone already deceased.  

The portrait lingered in her vision.  

Switching between the portrait and the proposal letter, Olivia laughed and cried like a madwoman.  

Eventually, the family doctor came to examine her and administered a sedative. Even then, Olivia’s eyes remained filled with tears.  

Her family, worried, searched for her, but she refused to meet them.  

Left alone in her room, she lay on her bed, her pillow soaked with tears. Yet Olivia couldn’t even think of turning her head.  

Freddy vin Hester.  

That was the Unknown Gentleman’s name.  

The man, five years older than her, was said to have a sturdy build and avoided women.  

Silvest was a country that didn’t pressure its people into romance or marriage.  

That was why he could remain free despite holding the title of Grand Duke.  

However, he had given up his freedom and willingly pursued marriage for the sake of the alliance.  

Olivia thought it was very much like him.  

He matched the image she had drawn of him through countless letters.  

Even amidst her madness, Olivia managed to hear everything about him from the Marquis.  

She recalled it and let out a faint laugh.  

Her soaked pillow felt sticky.  

She felt as though she was being endlessly pulled downward.  

“Truly insane.”  

Yes, I am truly insane.  

Wasn’t this just a joke from the start?  

A joke, yes, a joke.  

“Someone, please tell me it’s a joke.”  

Tell me this is all a nightmare.  

That I’m a mad lady who fell in love with someone who doesn’t exist.  

Please.