6.1

The summer break had ended, and the Imperial Lapolis Academy was entering the second half of the academic year.  

For Delia, something had changed this semester—she had been given a private room.  

And…  

Knock, knock.

“Professor, it’s me.”  

She had also become Professor Idern’s assistant, helping with his research.  

For over two weeks now, she had been visiting him daily.  

“You’re here, Miss Delia. Thank you so much, even though you must be busy.”  

As usual, the professor’s office was quiet, with only the professor warmly greeting her.  

When Delia glanced around the room and didn’t see the face she had somewhat dreaded, she felt a sense of relief. But then, the professor added,  

“Repel will be here soon as well.”  

“Ah, of course…”  

Delia tried hard not to show her feelings as she sat down and began reading the research materials.  

‘I can’t concentrate.’  

But inside, it was a different story. Just hearing the name “Repel Roxen” made her feel unsettled, as if something was stuck in her chest. She couldn’t focus on the materials.  

Had I ever felt such discomfort about someone before?  

Looking back, it was perhaps similar to the emotions she felt toward her father during the festival.  

‘No, this is… a little more…’  

If her father gave her a sense of oppression, then Repel Roxen was more like…  

Knock, knock. 

The sound of knocking broke her thoughts. The person behind the door could only be Repel Roxen. 

Gulp.

Delia swallowed nervously.  

Click.  

“Good evening, Professor.”  

As expected, the person who entered was none other than Repel Roxen.  

His voice was polite, his demeanor impeccable.  

‘…Uncomfortable.’  

But the moment Delia saw his face, the word “uncomfortable” flashed through her mind.  

Even after seeing him for two weeks straight, the feeling hadn’t subsided.  

“Oh, Repel, you’re here. I look forward to your help today as well.”  

“I’ll do my best, Professor.”  

With a friendly smile, Repel entered the office and took a seat next to Delia.  

“Hello, Delia.”  

“…Hello.”  

Delia greeted him reluctantly, not even bothering to turn her head.  

After the brief exchange, she buried herself in the materials, signaling that she wasn’t interested in further conversation. Perhaps because of her attitude, Repel didn’t try to speak to her again.  

Although he was said to be Kartan’s older brother, Delia didn’t find much resemblance between the two.  

If he had looked more like Kartan, perhaps she wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable.  

As Delia unconsciously compared the two brothers, she gradually finished organizing today’s research materials.  

“Oh, by the way, about this project…”  

Professor Idern suddenly spoke, his expression troubled.  

“I’m sorry, but could we pause for now and resume after the midterm evaluations?”  

Apparently, an urgent schedule had come up, and he needed to adjust the assistantship period.  

“I feel bad for both of you since you’ve been making time to help me.”  

‘If it’s after the midterms, then…’  

Delia didn’t mind too much. In fact, it would give her more time to prepare for the evaluations, so she decided to think positively.  

“That’s fine with me.”  

“Of course, I’m okay with it.”  

Following Delia, Repel also nodded readily. Delia glanced at him briefly.  

In a way, it was a relief.  

At least for now, she wouldn’t have to face Repel Roxen.  

***

Despite her discomfort, the day ended without any significant incidents.  

Although she would have to face Repel Roxen again after the midterms, she figured it wouldn’t be much different from now.  

‘Am I overthinking this?’  

After all, Repel hadn’t done anything to her.  

Except for that one time when he asked if she had a boyfriend after they bumped into each other.  

But even that wasn’t really an offensive question, was it?  

‘Maybe I’m just overreacting.’  

Delia thought she might have been overly sensitive lately as she made her way back to the dormitory.  

‘Oh.’  

A familiar figure caught her eye. It was someone she couldn’t fail to recognize anymore.  

“…Kartan.”  

Seeing Kartan, Delia called out to him with a hint of excitement.  

And at that moment, she realized something.  

This was the first time she had ever called out to him first.  

Thinking back, Delia had never once initiated a greeting. It had always been Kartan who acknowledged her first.  

‘I feel a little bad.’  

Remembering how she had always responded coldly to his greetings, Delia felt a pang of guilt.  

‘I should start greeting him first from now on.’ 

She resolved.  

But then,  

“Ah.”  

When Kartan turned around, his reaction was different from usual.  

‘…What’s this?’  

If he seemed colder than usual, was it just her imagination?  

No, it wasn’t. Normally, he would approach her with his trademark relaxed smile.  

‘Did something upset him?’  

It was their first time seeing each other since the summer break. Back then, he had even come to say goodbye before heading home.  

Unless something bad had happened, there was no reason for him to act this way.  

“Uh… Did you have a good trip home?”  

Trying to guess the reason for his unfamiliar attitude, Delia asked warmly.  

But,  

“Yeah. You’ve been doing well too, right?”  

His tone was stiff, far from the casual way one would ask if someone had been doing well.  

As this cold demeanor repeated itself, Delia’s heart grew heavy. An awkward tension settled between them.  

“Me? I’ve been… the same as usual.”  

Her voice trembled slightly as she replied. Even though nothing had happened between them, she felt uneasy.  

Instinctively, Delia knew.  

This was a side of Kartan she hadn’t even seen when he first proposed their arrangement.  

‘No, it must be something bad.’  

She denied it. There had to be a reason. Otherwise, there was no way he would suddenly act so coldly toward her.  

Tomorrow, when whatever was bothering him was resolved…  

“Kartan!”  

At that moment, a familiar voice called out from the end of the hallway.  

It was Henry, a fellow classmate, calling out to Kartan cheerfully.  

And Delia saw it.  

“Hey, long time no see. Guess what? I’m moving into your room today.”  

“Of course, I know. Hurry up and pack your stuff. I’ll be waiting. I’ll head there first.”  

“Alright, see you in a bit.”  

The warm, friendly side of Kartan that he showed to Henry.  

The wall Delia had been trying to deny now felt insurmountably thick.  

So, in that moment, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him about becoming Professor Idern’s assistant alongside his brother.  

Even after Henry passed by, leaving the two of them alone again, she couldn’t find the words.  

“I’ll be going now. I need to move my things.”  

Without any hesitation, Kartan turned his back on her and walked away, as if he had no intention of continuing the conversation.  

The Kartan she knew would have kept talking to her, even if she didn’t want to.  

But Delia couldn’t ask him to stay. She had no reason to, and she didn’t know what to say.  

Their relationship had always been initiated by Kartan.  

Delia had simply followed his lead.  

‘Why all of a sudden…?’  

And yet…  

‘…It feels like it’s been a while.’  

***

For over a month, Kartan hadn’t called on her.  

Even considering the summer break, it was an unusually long time.  

Given how often he used to call her—usually every week or two—it felt strange.  

‘Could it be that he won’t call me anymore?’  

A worrisome thought crossed her mind. Perhaps this was his way of saying he wouldn’t seek her out again.  

‘No.’  

Delia instinctively rejected the idea.  

Why? 

She asked herself.  

The first answer that came to mind wasn’t the fear or worry of losing her place as first in class.  

‘I just… want to keep this going.’  

She didn’t want to end her relationship with him. That was her true feeling.  

But Delia shook her head, denying her own emotions.  

‘No, that can’t be it.’  

It had to be her fear of losing her top rank, twisted into something strange for a moment.  

Hadn’t she recently thought that something was wrong with her?  

How her father made her uncomfortable, how even being first didn’t feel joyful anymore.  

Her emotions were clearly broken.  

Yes. Her obsession with being first was so intense that it had to have been mistaken for an obsession with Kartan Roxen.  

Otherwise, how could she explain why she wanted to continue her relationship with him, why she didn’t want to end their arrangement?  

‘It doesn’t make sense.’  

I must have clung to our physical relationship out of fear that he might stop letting me be first.  

Yes, that had to be it.  

This abnormal situation was why even achieving first place felt unsettling rather than satisfying.  

It was all Kartan Roxen’s fault.  

She repeated these thoughts to herself, as if trying to brainwash herself. But once she started thinking about it, memories of her time with him began to flood her mind.  

His firm chest, the strong hands that had touched her.  

The warmth she had felt from his heated body.  

The moments of comfort he had given her.  

And the large, hard thing that had stirred her insides…  

‘S-stop!’  

Delia felt a wave of self-loathing. She hated how her thoughts always seemed to spiral in this direction.  

‘Kartan must find me disgusting too.’  

A woman who had given him her body out of a desire to be first.  

What kind of man could have feelings for such a person? He must think of her as a woman who would spread her legs for anyone if it meant staying at the top.  

And yet…  

‘Even so, I…’  

For some reason, Delia didn’t want things to end with Kartan like this.