7. Want to Crush Her

Rihanel’s expression hardened. But Janet continued regardless. She even leaned her body slightly forward, appearing almost enthusiastic.

“I know you didn’t want this marriage.”

“……”

Yes, that was certainly true. And it remained true now. But… but.

“I don’t know what you gained from this marriage, but you probably hate being bound to me for life because of it. I understand. We…”

Janet paused briefly before continuing.

“We can never become close. So.”

Janet Wilton truly believed, without a doubt, that she had found a good solution.

“When I no longer need the status. And when you get what you want, we can release each other.”

This woman he couldn’t help but despise was pouring out her thoughts so unilaterally. The listener wasn’t prepared, but such considerations were not her concern.

“Haha…”

A hollow laugh escaped him involuntarily.

Even in this situation, Janet Wilton maintained her lofty expression like someone reciting scripture, with firm eyes and an upright back.

And Rihanel Reynes standing before her.

Was a stupid, foolish, idiotic bastard.

Hadn’t he been agonizing all this time because he didn’t know that good solution she mentioned, that simple and clear method?

Despite her being the woman who had ruined his foundation and daily life and killed his dear Father Lapel… hadn’t he tried to bury it? He had been sitting there rationalizing that if he had to live with her for life, sharing drinks like this occasionally wouldn’t be so bad.

He should have looked for a way to divorce from the beginning.

Janet Wilton, who had never really been Janet Reynes, had found a solution so simply.

In the end, the fool was always Rihanel.

Because this woman, with her seemingly benevolent face, could casually throw people into the mud without a second thought.

“Right. As you say. Even if we live together for a hundred years, the feelings I have when I look at you will remain the same.”

Rihanel leaned forward. Janet unconsciously flinched at the anger in his intense eyes.

“I think about it several times a day, Janet.”

A voice like a low murmur. Yet each word penetrated Janet with absolute clarity.

“How I could crush that lofty face of yours.”

This time his voice was pressed and spat out.

Janet’s gaze wavered. A heavy silence mixed with tension hung in the empty room.

What broke the silence was Rihanel’s laughter, as if he found it absurd.

With coldness in his eyes but only the corners of his mouth raised, he leaned back in his chair. Then he spoke again to the frozen Janet.

“Fine, I’ll cooperate. Since our relationship will end once that Noble Special Law is gone. But fulfill your duty before that.”

Janet immediately understood what “duty” he was referring to. So she took out a box she had brought hidden under the tray of refreshments.

Just in case. She had brought it so she could do it right away if he wanted.

Rihanel glanced down obliquely at the box.

“That’s so like you. Even this, you’re thoroughly prepared.”

At his seemingly mocking tone, Janet felt a stinging in a corner of her heart. But hiding this, she took a knife from the box.

“This time I’d prefer the right shoulder. The same pattern as last time.”

Rihanel gestured to her right shoulder with his chin.

The same pattern as last time. He meant the X-mark carved into her left shoulder. He wanted her to carve the same thing on her right side.

“Yes.”

Janet silently rolled up her sleeve. It wasn’t difficult to roll the wide sleeve up to her shoulder. Again without hesitation, she inflicted a wound on her own arm.

Rihanel watched with his arms crossed, as if appreciating the sight.

At least that’s how he wanted to appear to Janet Wilton.

As if her pain was his pleasure.

As if denying her brought him joy.

The X-mark seemed slightly larger than last time. Her movements were annoyingly slow. It was exhausting to hide the irritation that kept surging up.

But when all that endurance was over, Rihanel got up with a slight smile and took out a handkerchief.

“I enjoyed watching.”

The finale of this strange game was him personally wiping away her blood with his own hand. Janet didn’t push Rihanel away, knowing this was what he wanted.

Rihanel stood behind Janet and silently stroked her soft skin with the cloth. The white bird embroidered on the handkerchief turned red.

This time he didn’t make the mistake of touching the blood during the process. After slowly wiping away all the blood, while pressing near the wound to stop the bleeding… he brought his finger to the red blood.

***

The memory was long.

But it didn’t contain much information.

Janet Wilton, around sixteen, was waiting for someone in front of a large elm tree that appeared after passing through a field of maia flowers.

Yes, she wasn’t simply alone but was waiting for someone.

She turned around at every small sound. Leaning against the tree, she repeatedly tapped the toe of one shoe on the ground. Yet she frequently rose on her tiptoes to look into the distance.

‘Who are you waiting for, Janet?’

Rihanel asked the girl with a hardened expression. Naturally, the girl didn’t answer.

The sun was setting.

The person she was waiting for didn’t come.

He knew that sixteen-year-old Janet wasn’t waiting for Nel Siphren. They had only gone to that elm tree once.

Other than that, they had never gone together or arranged to meet there. And at that time, Nel Siphren would never have… dared to keep Janet Wilton waiting.

Janet Wilton’s face showed disappointment along with an indescribable emotion. Something resembling anxiety, but closer to fear.

What Janet was waiting for was probably.

‘You’re waiting for that bastard.’

The male bastard who was said to have been with you at Philodis Cathedral.

I tried to see what kind of guy he was, but he didn’t show his face. Even after hours passed, Janet was the only person visible there.

‘Janet, were you abandoned like this? Is that why you went to prison alone?’

Until the end, the person Janet was waiting for never appeared. The girl who had picked up a tree branch and sat down bit her lip firmly as she rose from her seat.

A wounded expression.

Rihanel was momentarily dazed.

Because it was the first time he had seen Janet from that time make such an expression.

A woman who always shone for Nel Siphren. She occasionally shared sadness, boredom, pain, negative emotions, but…

This was his first time seeing her with an expression of being hurt by someone.

And Rihanel’s face watching this scene also contorted. Complex emotions mixed together, tearing through his head and heart.

Seeing Janet Wilton hurt wasn’t as pleasing or enjoyable as he had expected.

Nevertheless, it drove him crazy with anger and irritation that she was making such an expression because of another man.

And not just anywhere, but here.

In this place that held precious memories for us.

The place where Janet Wilton was waiting for another man was where Janet and Nel had shared their first kiss.

***

Rihanel, opening his eyes, immediately released Janet’s arm.

“Haah……”

The discarded handkerchief fell limply. Janet let out a small groan.

Then as if nothing had happened, she picked up the handkerchief and handed it to Rihanel.

“I’ll go now.”

“……”

Rihanel stared blankly at Janet. He wanted to say something but didn’t know what.

His head felt like it would explode, not knowing how to express these complex emotions, this mixture of anger and lingering attachment.

And then.

A soft humming sound was heard.

From Janet Wilton.

“……”

Rihanel frowned harshly.

Was he hearing things?

How… how could she hum in a situation like this?

She had just told him she had betrayed him and boarded Theo Randipel’s boat. They had discussed divorce. And she had just cut her arm with a knife.

It made no sense. Wondering if he had misheard, he strode toward Janet. But the closer he got to her, the louder the sound became.

Janet Wilton was happily humming a bright melody.

He grabbed Janet’s arm and roughly turned her around.

“What are you so happy about? Does the thought of divorcing me make life so good that you can’t help but hum?”

Janet’s eyes widened in surprise. As if she had just realized what she was doing, she immediately opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

It was a reflexive apology.

Janet was someone who easily and readily said sorry and thank you. But this time was different.

A truly reflexive greeting that came without passing through thought.

Ah, it was just something she said to calm down the suddenly agitated bastard in front of her.

“You’re crazy, Janet Wilton. Am I that ridiculous to you?”

“…That’s not it.”

“I’m completely serious. That you’re a disgusting person. Not a single day has passed since eight years ago that I haven’t hated you. I told you, welcome to hell. I don’t know how easily you’ve lived your life with that dignified face, but at least until the divorce, it will be hell.”

Janet listened silently without retorting. She didn’t stop him even as sharp words that hadn’t properly passed through his mind unfolded without order.

“……”

It was like talking to a wall. Rihanel stopped speaking abruptly. Only then did Janet respond.

“…Are you finished?”

“……”

“I’ll go now.”

The door closed quietly, very politely, just like her.

An indescribable suffocation overcame Rihanel. The silence of the empty room was heavy. He wanted to open that door and shout something.

But unable to do so, he stood alone for a long time, staring at the closed door.

And Janet, with her lips firmly shut, moved her steps toward her own room.

Today, the corridor seemed unusually long. The night garden visible through the corridor windows came into view.

I hate looking at it.

She walked steadily, looking at the floor. It felt like walking an endless tightrope.

Click, the door closed.

Janet, entering her room, clutched her wounded arm. Only when the sharp pain dominated her entire body could she exhale.

“…Haah……”

She wanted to spit out everything inside her refreshingly. But she couldn’t. Afraid that what was inside might leak through the door cracks, she just closed her eyes as if dead.

* * *