Chapter 3 – Part 6

Tenere stayed up all night with tired eyes.

She knew she had to close her eyes, especially for the child, but her mind was too tangled to fall asleep at all.

When Eric visited her room at first light, he saw the shadows under her eyes and scrunched up his face as if he’d seen something unbearable

“Hey, what’s with your face?”

Tenere didn’t answer. When she looked elsewhere without a word, Eric seemed to suddenly realize something.

“She tried to hurt your child. You don’t have to feel guilty about that.

Eric seemed to think that Tenere was concerned about Camilla’s fate.

Feeling how vulnerable she appeared in his eyes, Tenere smiled faintly.

“I have no intention of forgiving Camilla. I would prefer to punish her directly, but… it would be a greater punishment for her to be led to the imperial family’s disposal.”

“Uhm… Well.. yeah, that’s true.”

Eric couldn’t hide his bewilderment at the desire to personally punish expressed by Tenere. He, who looked at her like a stranger, suddenly asked as if he had just remembered something.

“So, what’s the problem?”

Eric really couldn’t understand. Tener had been cleared of suspicion for her abdication.

Even if the relationship between her and the emperor was not great, she could request reinstatement, and there will be no reason for him not to grant it..

However, Tenere just smiled bitterly.

“It all depends on His Majesty’s will whether I can be the mother of this child.”

“What?”

Eric couldn’t say anything in response to Tenere. Her words were true.

If, for some reason, the Emperor refused her reinstatement, her child might be taken away.

After a moment of silence, Eric finally opened his mouth as if asking what’s the problem.

“His Majesty isn’t that harsh.”

He was someone who showed as much consideration as possible to the children of traitors.

He allowed Eric, who was the successor, to maintain his position, and even after Tenere’s abdication, he guaranteed her freedom to reside in the capital or remarry. So, it was unlikely he would take away Tenere’s child from her.

Eric thought Tenere’s concerns were simply due to old habits, like being overly cautious before entering the palace.

“But… now I’ll be a burden.”

Tenere just smiled bitterly.

The emotions Leonard holds for her are probably just a bit of sympathy or a sense of loyalty from their years of being married. 

“I confessed my love to His Majesty but he rejected it”

At the unexpected words, Eric’s face looked bewildered. Tenere bowed her head and let her eyes fall.

“Even if His Majesty accepts me again… I no longer have the confidence to be by his side.”

The room was filled with silence. Eric couldn’t find words to say, wiped his face, and Tenere hesitated before speaking.

“This is my child, rother.”

The light purple eyes rolled for a while. The words came out carefully.

“I just can’t…… keep him, can I?”

“What are you saying?”

Eric asked in surprise. Tenere smiled faintly.

“It’s my child. I’m the one who would carry and give birth to it… this is my child.”

“….”

“I’m sorry. It’s just something I said out of greed”

Tenere spoke with a sophisticated look. Although Eric stared at her with a confused look she pretended not to see, Tenere only turned her head.

***

Tenere sent a message to the palace, requesting permission to enter the palace.

She dressed in a dark dress and fixed her hair so that she could leave as soon as she was given permission. Dressing took quite a long time.

She couldn’t adorn herself too extravagantly as a deposed empress, but she didn’t want to appear too shabby to Leonard.

The desire to look beautiful amidst anxiety was ironically amusing.

“You’re beautiful, My Lady.”

The maids who dressed her instead of the imprisoned Camilla spoke kindly.

She knew it was a routine compliment, but Tenere hoped their words were sincere.

It had been nearly a month since they last met. When she saw him again, she couldn’t predict what expression he would wear when she told him she was pregnant.

‘Will he be pleased?’

No, perhaps he would be furious that her incapability of bearing a child during their marriage was manipulated by some people inside the palace. 

Tenere, who had never seen his angry face, hoped that he would at least express his anger this time.

“Will he allow my reinstatement?”

Thinking she couldn’t stand him not loving her anymore, Tenere ironically imagined him requesting her reinstatement.

Maybe once he was back at the palace, they could both treat each other as if nothing had happened.

The knock on the door came just after she applied a light shade of rouge to her lips.

Tener wiped the inside of her lips with a handkerchief and turned to the entrance.

A knight was standing between the open doors. Seeing his troubled expression, Tenere tilted her head.

“My Lady, as you requested, I sent a message to the palace asking for permission, but…”

The steward’s gaze fell on Tenere, who had finished dressing up. Seeing her in the best possible appearance within the permitted limits, he slowly bowed his head.

“There’s an urgent meeting today, and His Majesty finds it difficult to meet you.”

Tenere’s hand paused at the unexpected rejection. It was embarrassing to be refused. During her time in the palace, she had never been refused by His Majesty.

“Seems like he’s busy.”

Tenere said casually, trying to hide her disappointment.

“Yes. His Majesty said he’ll send another message soon. And…”

The knight cautiously eyed Tenere again, as if trying to say something difficult.

Finally, when he opened his mouth, Tenere could only be shocked.

“His Majesty is currently… with Lady Alaina Salvatore.”

It felt like something had struck her hard on the back of her head.

Tenere didn’t immediately understand what she had heard. Who was he meeting? Who had returned? The words coming out of the knight’s mouth trembled slightly.

“When did Lady Alaina Salvatore return?”

“She returned yesterday and is currently with Marquis Salvatore, officially meeting His Majesty since the morning.”

Alaina Salvatore. The former fiancée of the emperor.

As the forgotten name reached her ears, Tenere’s shoulders slumped. Was the urgent meeting to meet Alaina Salvatore? Had she been rejected because…?

Fear, anxiety, jealousy, self-pity. Twisted emotions entangled like a messy thread.

The knight apologized with a remorseful face, repeatedly bowing his head. And then, a familiar voice echoed in the corridor.

“Are you ready?”

At the sound of the voice, Tenere lifted her head. Eric, who had finished preparing for the plan of going to the palace, was looking at her and the knight with a puzzled expression.

“What’s with those expressions? Is the meeting today canceled?”

“…Brother.”

Tenere called her brother. Eric’s face froze with a puzzled look.

He walked into the room.

Tenere grabbed the hem of his clothes.

“Alaina Salvatore has returned.”

“…Who came back?”

Eric looked like he had heard something he shouldn’t have. When Tenere spoke again,

“Alaina Salvatore.”

The name of the emperor’s former fiancée who had disappeared for the past five years.

Eric was puzzled that she had returned, especially right after Tenere’s abdication.

Eric, who hadn’t interacted with other nobles while moving to the mansion with Tenere, found the news too sudden.

“His Majesty is currently receiving her. Hence, my request for an audience was declined”

“…Everyone, leave.”

As Eric spoke heavily, the servants left the room.

As soon as the door closed, Tenere’s shoulders drooped. Eric, looking at the fallen eyes, spoke heavily.

“Nothing is certain yet.”

“…”

“Lady Salvatore suddenly disappeared during her engagement with His Majesty. Thanks to her, the empress’s position was vacant for a year. If she returned, it’s only natural for her to be officially presented to His Majesty out of courtesy.”

Eric tried to pretend that he didn’t know about Alaina’s relationship with Leonard, that she had been raised as a prospective empress, or that she was the most qualified person to take the throne once again.

However, pretending not to know didn’t make the fact disappear.

“I’m not even sure if my child will be taken away from me…… or not.”

Tenere said, wrapping her arms around her stomach. It was a sight Eric had never seen before.

She, who never wanted anything, was now claiming something as her own.

Eric had never stepped forward to defend her. When his father tormented his sister, Eric had to pretend to support his father to defuse the situation, always careful not to show any affection toward her sister. He couldn’t afford to be hated by his father. He hadn’t inherited his title yet.

That damn rationality always made him act cowardly.

“This is my child. This is mine…”

Tenere said, trying to sound stern. But it wasn’t forced.

The child was in Tenere’s womb. It was her child growing inside her.

She, who had no desires, was now coveting something that wasn’t someone else’s.

“Want to run away together?”

It was a phrase that popped out unintentionally. Seeing Tenere’s surprised face, Eric only realized what he had said after the fact.

But it didn’t seem entirely impossible.

“Since the knights are only at the main gate, sneaking out secretly shouldn’t be too difficult. We’ve been quietly staying in the mansion for so long, so we might be able to buy some time. What do you think?”

“But, Brother.”

Tenere called out to him as if telling him not to say absurd things, but Eric didn’t miss the wavering in her eyes.

He swallowed dryly.

“I don’t want to be stuck holding on to a title I can’t inherit.”

“But, Brother, you have to get married…”

“Who would want to marry the son of a traitor?”

Eric chuckled lightly. Tenere still had a puzzled expression, but she didn’t let go of her tightly clenched hand.

“It’s a gamble Tenere. Either you leave it up to the king to decide whether the child is taken away or reinstated, or you run away with me to wherever.”

“If you’re caught running, the king won’t punish a pregnant woman too severely, and you can argue that you wanted to wait until after the birth to tell him.”

“But, Brother…”

Tenere trailed off. He was right, she had an excuse if she was caught.

So if I said that I thought the manor and the palace were not a safe place, I could argue that I had acted irrationally out of fear of losing my child. Eric, however, was different, he was the Marquis of Evan’s master, and it was his duty to prevent Tenere from making the wrong choice.

At her concerned gaze, Eric put an arm around his shoulders and arched an eyebrow.

“What about it? I’ll play the weak little brother who was kidnapped by his wicked sister.”

“..”

“When people make jokes, you’re supposed to laugh. Don’t you have any sense of humor?”

Seeing no reaction from Tenere, Erich complained as if he were sulking. Tenere, still looking bewildered, belatedly covered her mouth and smiled.

“Thank you for the joke. So… where are we going?”

Her voice was light as if planning a trip. It almost seemed like she was whispering about an imaginary scenario that wouldn’t come true.

Eric, too, casually mentioned a destination as if planning a trip.

“If the person who paid the maid chases us, it won’t be safe. We have to avoid that person’s eyes and also His Majesty’s. Maybe it’s better to go somewhere sparsely populated…”

“If it’s the countryside…”

“How about the northern forest? If we’re lucky, we might be able to meet your mother there.”

It was a casual mention of a destination, but Eric’s words made Tenere’s heart flutter.

Could she meet her mother? What would her mother say if she told her that her daughter was pregnant?

“Really… Can I meet her?”

“I don’t know. Meeting your mother happened to Father by chance, so if you’re lucky, you might be able to meet her.”

Eric shrugged. Rather than giving a definite answer, his response provided a greater sense of reality.

With a tense face, Tenere continued to rub her stomach, then her gaze dropped as if lost in thought, and she looked up again.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Whether it was because she truly wanted to leave, or if longing for her mother was now welling up, or if it was revenge against His Majesty for rejecting her, Tenere couldn’t determine. Perhaps it was just a foolish and irrational impulse, but even with that impulse, the fact that someone was willing to share it with her relieved some of her anxiety.

“Alright then, let’s get ready.”

Eric said with a strangely refreshed expression. His voice remained light as if planning a simple outing.