3.5

For a moment, thoughts he had never dared to imagine crossed Pavel’s mind. He wasn’t particularly shocked to realize that such dark, obsessive, and dangerous thoughts existed within him.  

‘Is it selfish of me to wish for her to look only at me?’

He was someone who knew the meaning of moderation. That was why he endured and restrained himself.  

However, it wasn’t as though he lacked the desire to break free from that moderation.  

He simply knew all too well that if he acted on his dirty desires, it could end up hurting Larisa. He was human, and as a human, there were lines he was obligated to respect.  

Even so, his fists, resting on his knees, had turned pale.  

As soon as the carriage arrived at the banquet hall, Pavel practically leaped out of it. The servants, recognizing his face, quickly stepped aside to make way for him. Though his expression appeared as composed and calm as ever, his aura was unusually intense and foreboding.  

“The Duke of Ainsley has arrived!”  

At the servant’s announcement, the atmosphere in the banquet hall shifted subtly. The moment Pavel stepped into the hall, the gazes that had been directed toward him quickly turned away, as though trying to avoid his notice.  

Pavel was not someone who would fail to pick up on such subtle tension. His eyes scanned the room.  

“Ahahaha!”  

From deeper within the hall, the sound of someone’s laughter reached him.  

There was no way Pavel wouldn’t recognize that voice. His steps immediately turned in that direction.  

Seated in the middle of a long sofa, Larisa burst into laughter once more. Whatever she found so amusing, she didn’t even glance in Pavel’s direction.  

On either side of her sat men—one on each side. Behind the sofa, two more men stood. Across from her, a few young noblewomen were seated, but they didn’t even register in Pavel’s mind.  

The men surrounding Larisa were practically alight with the determination to capture her attention. The glint of desire in their eyes made Pavel’s jaw tighten.  

He was just about to head toward Larisa when—  

“Oh my, Your Grace! It’s been so long!”  

“I didn’t know you’d be attending the banquet today. Lady Lochrain arrived here alone, so…”  

“If you have a moment, perhaps you could join us…”  

Before he realized it, a group of young noblewomen had gathered around him, encircling him. The sweet scent of flowers, the aroma of vanilla, and the lingering hint of white wine filled the air. Taking a cautious step back from their subtly advancing proximity, Pavel replied,  

“Yes, it has been a while. I’m only late today, that’s all. So, if you’ll excuse me for just a moment.”  

In the meantime, he gently but swiftly removed the hand of one young lady that had lightly rested on his shoulder, ensuring his actions were not impolite. Though there was a hint of hurt in her eyes, it didn’t matter to him.  

As soon as he decisively distanced himself from the ladies, Pavel’s gaze locked with Larisa’s.  

Larisa was smiling. Her eyes were fixed directly on Pavel.

How long had she been watching me?  

Then, as if she had never seen him, her gaze smoothly shifted away, as though flowing like water.  

Was she pretending not to have noticed me? 

Pavel’s mouth went dry. His steps quickened.  

As Pavel drew closer, the men standing behind the sofa seemed to sense his presence and flinched, falling silent. The young noblewomen who had noticed the change turned to glance behind them, their eyes widening in surprise.  

Finally, Pavel reached the group. He wasn’t even aware of what expression he was wearing at that moment.  

“Larisa, so this is where you were.”  

Though she clearly already knew, Larisa feigned surprise, letting out a small gasp and covering her mouth with her hand. Her eyes curved softly into a smile.  

“Oh, Pavel, you’re here. I was so bored that I came early, but these gentlemen have been sharing such amusing stories.”  

“Is that so?”  

“I laughed so much that I completely lost track of time.”  

Larisa, who burst into laughter as if silver bells were rolling, placed her hand on the shoulder of the man sitting next to her. That man, somehow looking triumphant, turned his gaze toward Pavel. Pavel, with an indifferent expression, merely glanced at him once and looked away.

Pavel extended his hand toward Larisa. Instead of immediately taking his hand, Larisa simply stared at him in silence.  

“Would you spare me some of your time now?”  

Larisa blinked several times, just staring at him. Though it could have been an awkward moment for his outstretched hand, Pavel remained steadfast. The situation became more embarrassing for those sitting beside her.  

Finally, Larisa chuckled softly, placed her hand over his, and stood up.  

“Alright, shall we step outside for a moment?”  

Pavel gently guided her away. As they disappeared, the men and women left behind let out sighs one after another, as if on cue.  

“What was that just now?”  

“Do you think they had a fight or something?”  

“The atmosphere was strange, wasn’t it? Don’t you think?”  

While they whispered and gossiped about Larisa and Pavel, the two headed toward the garden outside the banquet hall.  

The garden was quiet. Aside from the faint sounds of people talking and music playing in the distance, only the chirping of insects could be heard.  

The two walked silently deeper into the garden. Pavel’s hand, holding Larisa’s, was so firm that it felt impossible for her to break free on her own.  

Yet, Larisa wasn’t afraid.  

Finally, when they reached a spot where no one could hear their conversation, Pavel stopped walking. Larisa also halted, and he was the first to speak.  

“Have I done something to upset you?”  

“What makes you think that?”  

“If you don’t tell me, I wouldn’t know. So, please, tell me.”  

“I asked why you think that.”  

Pavel stared at her face for a moment before replying.  

“Your face… looks angry.”  

“Mine?”  

“And your voice too.”  

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  

“Even if you don’t realize it…”  

Pavel carefully tucked a strand of Larisa’s hair behind her ear. He seemed to bite his lips briefly, as if swallowing something, before continuing to speak.  

“I’m utterly clueless when it comes to matters like this. So, please, tell me.”  

Larisa found it both ridiculous and endearing that this man, who could tell just by looking at her face whether she was angry or not, claimed to be clueless. Her sulky mood seemed to be on the verge of dissipating.  

Still, she couldn’t let it go without addressing it. Since Pavel was the one who had upset her, he had to resolve it. Whatever it took, he had to fix it.  

“Pavel, do you really only love me?”  

“Yes, of course. Why would you…”  

“It doesn’t seem that way. Earlier, you didn’t even react when Sylvia Tesson touched you.”  

“…What?”  

“And when Aileen Lonefeld and Violet Salem spoke to you, you calmly listened to everything they said.”  

“Larisa, that’s…”  

Larisa interrupted him with a crooked smile, folding her arms.  

“Even though you saw me, you didn’t come straight to me.”  

“No, that’s not it…”  

“Do you enjoy being chased by pretty young ladies? Are you starting to get tired of me?”  

“Larisa, please don’t say such things!”  

“Why not? Lately, Pavel, you’ve become so popular. It’s nothing like before. Wherever I go, people are always talking about you. And they say it so casually, even in front of me.”  

Larisa knew very well that she was nitpicking over trivial matters. But so what? She was upset, and she needed to vent. And the cause of her frustration was Pavel.  

Pavel, at a loss for words, kept his mouth tightly shut.  

“What? Do you feel wronged?”  

“……”  

“Do you think I’m being unreasonable and picking a fight over nothing?”  

“Larisa, are you upset because I spoke with other people?”  

Larisa remained silent, folding her arms and glaring at him for a long moment before finally speaking.  

“Smile.”  

“What?”  

“Smile. A big one.”

At Larisa’s sudden demand, Pavel could only blink in confusion. Her reaction, however, made Larisa even angrier, and her voice rose.  

“Can’t you even smile?”  

“No, wait a moment… I just don’t quite understand.”  

Pavel’s bewildered expression only fueled Larisa’s frustration. She stepped closer and reached out her hand.  

Larisa’s fingers touched the corners of Pavel’s mouth, and she forcefully lifted them upward. With his lips now forming an awkward smile, Pavel furrowed his brows in discomfort and asked,  

“Larisa, why are you doing this? Can you please explain…”  

But Pavel’s words were cut short. Larisa’s face, which had started to flush red, now showed tears welling up in her eyes, glistening like dew.  

Did I… make Larisa cry? 

Pavel’s face turned pale as he instinctively reached out to wipe the tears from her eyes. But Larisa sharply turned her head away and took a step back.  

With a tone full of resentment, she muttered,  

“You smiled so easily in front of her…”  

“Her? Who are you talking about?”  

Larisa couldn’t understand why her emotions were swinging so wildly. Why did it matter? If she didn’t like what she saw, she could just do what she had always done before—cut Pavel out of her life.  

But why was it different this time? Why did she hold Pavel to a different standard than anyone else? Why did she want him to smile for her the way he had smiled at that female knight?  

“The woman you were sparring with earlier.”  

“Pardon?”  

“The one with short brown hair. That female knight.”  

Pavel’s mind raced in confusion. Was there someone like that? But he soon realized who she was referring to.  

“Are you talking about Sir Teodora Zairan?”  

“……”  

“Did I smile at her? I… don’t remember…”  

As Pavel looked at Larisa’s resentful gaze, he suddenly understood what was happening.  

A strange, tight feeling constricted his chest. Covering his mouth with his hand, he held his breath.  

When he remained silent and simply stared at her, Larisa’s anger flared even more. Finally, a single tear rolled down her cheek. She bit her lip hard, then turned sharply on her heel.  

“Forget it. I’m done.”  

Just as she was about to leave, Pavel grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. Turning around with teary, sharp eyes, she found herself being pulled toward him.  

Before she could react, Larisa’s slender waist was wrapped in Pavel’s arms.  

“What are you doing? Let go! Let me go!”  

“Larisa, are you… jealous?”