6.4

With her movements completely restrained, Larisa was overcome with extreme terror. Her face turned deathly pale as Pavel smiled at her. But it wasn’t really a smile—it was more like a twisted grimace.

“Please, listen to me. Pavel, I swear, I had no feelings for those men!”

But it was as if Pavel couldn’t hear her. Looking around, he untied the cord hanging from the canopy above the bed. He used it to blindfold Larisa. Unable to move her hands or see anything, Larisa began trembling uncontrollably, pleading with him more desperately.

“Let me go, please, why are you doing this? I’m so scared, Pavel, don’t do this, don’t do this to me…”

“If you desire someone other than me, I’ll make it happen.”

Larisa couldn’t fully understand what she had just heard. The sound of seams tearing and fabric ripping filled the air. She realized that she was now left wearing nothing but her undergarments.

She trembled violently. Her entire body shook like a leaf in a storm, and her jaw quivered so badly that her teeth clattered, creating an unpleasant sound.

At that moment, Pavel’s presence above her receded. She heard the sound of him stepping down from the bed. Larisa turned her head toward where she assumed he was standing.

He remained silent for a moment before speaking in a cold, detached tone.

“Did you like those men earlier?”

“No, I don’t want anyone! Please, Pavel. I only want you…”

“Would Jaron and Osley suffice? Or should I summon all the knights who accompanied you to the lake?”

“No, no, I don’t want that!”

Larisa thrashed and cried. The blindfold covering her eyes grew damp with her tears.

“Don’t do this, Pavel! Please, no!”

Pavel watched Larisa scream and cry, biting his lip. His mind felt like it was spinning, dark and chaotic. It was as if his vision had turned upside down.

The words he had used to propose to her—words he had thrown out in desperation—had been chosen because he believed she wouldn’t take his hand otherwise. Even if he told her he loved her, would that have reached her? He thought it would be better to feign cruelty.

But he never imagined that their cohabitation and marriage would be this painful. He had thought he could endure it, but Larisa showed no signs of joy in their union. It was clear she had chosen him out of necessity, as if she had no other choice, as if she were running away.

Even so, he couldn’t bear how his body burned with desire every time he saw her. Larisa didn’t want him, but he wanted her.

On their wedding night and ever since, Pavel had desired Larisa, but he could never hold her the way he had before. Even touching her felt like the worst violation, and the thought of going further—of taking her—made him feel as though he would truly be forcing himself on her.

He had tried to approach her gently and tenderly, as he had in the past, but he couldn’t. Larisa’s face would harden every time she looked at him. He wished she would either laugh at him or pretend nothing had happened. But as a coward, he shrank back every time he saw her stiff expression.

Every time he spoke or acted cruelly, every time he saw Larisa hurt because of him, it wounded him deeply.

This broken relationship—this mess—left Pavel utterly lost. And today, he had seen Larisa smiling beautifully, just as she had in the past.

But the Larisa who had smiled wasn’t smiling at him. The ones beside her were his knights—the very knights he had assigned to protect her. The moment he saw them, his vision turned red.

Why wouldn’t she smile at him, but she would smile so beautifully in front of them?

He wished that smile belonged to him and him alone.

The sound of footsteps echoed as they moved farther away. Larisa, her face pale as a sheet, screamed.

“Pavel, don’t go! Please!”

Pavel did not respond. Though she couldn’t see anything, Larisa could feel Pavel moving farther and farther away. She shook her head wildly, but the blindfold covering her eyes wouldn’t come off. No matter how hard she pulled, the fabric binding her hands wouldn’t budge.

Thud.

The faint sound of the door closing reached her ears. Larisa froze in place.

Pavel had truly left her in this defenseless state and walked out of the room. She couldn’t believe it. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine Pavel would do something like this to her.

Other men? The very thought was horrifying! Larisa swore she had never turned her attention to another man since being with Pavel. It was the truth. While she had pretended to consider leaving him, she had never seriously thought about being with someone else.

Because she liked Pavel.

“Sniff… sob… sob…”

Her sorrow poured out like a flood. The sound of her crying, like that of a child, echoed through the spacious room. Her wrists hurt, her tear-streaked eyes stung, and, most of all, her heart ached.

Pavel had decided to abandon her. After taking her as his wife, he was now willing to hand her over to other men.

“If this… if this is how it was going to be, why… why did you marry me… sob…”

She was consumed by anger. She felt as though she might go mad with hatred. He had said he liked her. He had said he loved her. Even if he no longer felt that way because of the wounds in his heart, how could he do something like this?

“Pavel…”

She called out his name, though he wasn’t there. She wished desperately for him to return, to untie her hands and remove the blindfold. If he did, she would try to forget all of this and move on as if nothing had happened.

No, she would yell at him, furious and out of control. She would demand to know why he didn’t just let her marry that perverted Earl instead. What difference would it have made?

No, that wasn’t it. She would confess everything to him. She would tell him the truth—that she liked him too much, that she was a coward who had tried to leave him first because she was afraid of being abandoned.

A chill ran down her spine. Was it because she was cold? Or because she was afraid? She didn’t know. And then—

Click.

The sound of the doorknob turning made her back stiffen.

“No! Don’t come in!”

She started screaming. She couldn’t let anyone see her in such a humiliating state. Twisting her body to turn her back toward the door, she shouted with all her might.

“Whoever you are, if you come in, I won’t let it slide! Get out. Get out right now!”

Creak—Bang.

The sound of the door opening and then closing reached her ears.

Thud, thud.

The sound of footsteps approaching her made Larisa scream. Curling herself into a ball, she cried out in desperation.

“Please, don’t look! Don’t look at me! Get out, I said! Pavel, where are you? Don’t do this…”

The bed shifted under her as someone climbed onto it. Whoever it was had gotten onto the bed. Larisa squirmed and tried to crawl to the opposite side.

It felt as though the unknown person—or people—were scanning her from head to toe with their gaze. The sensation was so overwhelming that Larisa felt as if insects were crawling all over her body. She clenched her eyes shut. 

Please, don’t look. Don’t look at me.

And then—

Something warm touched her back.

“Ahhhhhh!”

Larisa screamed and thrashed. Tears and mucus poured from her face. She could barely breathe. Gasping and trembling, she finally began to beg.

“Please, don’t do this. I’m married. You know that. You know who my husband is. He’s the Duke. I’m the Duke’s wife!”

She kicked her legs and flailed her body, shouting as she went. The intruder grabbed her arms and pinned her body down with their legs. Was it because she was struggling too much? But the more she felt the intruder’s body heat pressing against her, the more panicked she became.

“Wait, calm down…”

She heard the intruder say something, but she couldn’t process it through her fear.

One name escaped her lips.

“Pavel, Pavel, save me! Please, I don’t want this—I hate it!”

Her breathing grew more labored. It felt as though she might pass out at any moment. Gulping painfully for air, she could barely form coherent words. Yet she continued to repeat Pavel’s name. Stammering, she managed to speak.

“Pa… vel…”

“……”

“You’re the only one… sob… for me…”

Suddenly, the blindfold covering her eyes was ripped away. Bright light flooded her vision, forcing Larisa to squeeze her eyes shut and turn her head away. Tears trickled down her cheeks and fell to her ears. Ah, she couldn’t endure this any longer. Her opponent’s strength was overwhelming, and all Larisa could do was cry and struggle in vain.

Her body grew weaker and weaker. Her mind began to blur. If she fainted here, what would happen to her then?

And then, her arms fell limply to her sides. The ropes binding her to the headboard had been loosened. She could feel someone fumbling with the ties around her wrists.

Even so, Larisa couldn’t open her eyes. If one of the knights who had been with them earlier was on top of her now, she thought she might bite her tongue and end it all.

“…I’m… sorry.”

A familiar voice drifted into her ears. With great effort, Larisa opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the speaker.

It was Pavel, perched on top of her. He was carefully holding her wrists, gently rubbing the reddened areas. Then, with trembling arms, he pulled Larisa into an embrace.

Once she was enveloped in his warm, firm chest, Larisa’s tension finally melted away. There was no one else around—only Pavel. Truly, only Pavel.

As the tension drained from her, a ringing sound filled her ears. Beeep. Her body went limp, and she no longer had the strength to stay conscious. Her eyelids fluttered closed once more.

She sank deeply, deeply into the darkness.