Chapter 2.6

Her mood sank, and her body felt heavy, as if weighed down by her thoughts. Julie fidgeted with her clasped hands in front of her, mirroring Hillienti’s earlier unease.

‘Do you think Idris will ever look at you?’ 

Kashian’s voice echoed in her mind, along with the image of Idris’s steady gaze. She closed her eyes, her thoughts in turmoil.

He had found out.

Would he reject me? 

Of course, he would. It was only natural. How disgusting must it be for him to realize that the girl he thought of as a sister harbored such dark desires?

She had even attended his fiancée’s funeral, feigning sympathy and pretending to offer comfort while hiding her true feelings. How revolting and despicable she must seem to him now. The shame of her petty, ugly emotions was unbearable.

She was suddenly filled with fear, her breath catching in her throat. Her stomach churned with nausea, and her throat burned as if bile was rising. She wanted to run away.

“Julie. When is the carriage supposed to arrive?”

“Well… Sir Kashian…”

Julie trailed off, her expression troubled, as if Kashian had blocked her plans.

Hillienti couldn’t understand. Even if there were gossipers outside the mansion, she could slip out unnoticed and return without incident. There would be no consequences, no damage to her family or its honor…

“This is too much. Did I really do something so wrong?”

“…No, Miss. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Do people outside know that I’m here?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve been checking the yellow papers every morning and evening, but there hasn’t been a word about you. I’ve searched thoroughly…”

Julie’s careful reassurances helped steady Hillienti’s frayed nerves.

If I returned of my own will, wouldn’t Kashian forgive me? 

No, she didn’t even need his forgiveness. This was her life. Her choices. She had never shirked responsibility for her decisions before.

Even her ten-year unrequited love, which she had clung to despite knowing it was hopeless, was a result of her own choice. She had kept her feelings hidden, believing that confessing them would only impose on him.

But now that her secret was out, it all felt meaningless.

“I should go back.”

The afternoon was as dark as dawn. Even with the windows closed, the storm outside was so fierce that the rain and wind were visible, making it the perfect time to leave unnoticed.

“The rain is heavy. When the young master returns, perhaps we could…”

“I don’t want to see him.”

She didn’t want to show herself to him. Swallowing her words, she exhaled deeply.

Julie’s expression twisted with determination. She checked the closed door and whispered softly.

“There’s a door in the kitchen that leads outside. If you wear my clothes, you could leave without being noticed.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve listened to you and never come here in the first place.”

“It’s alright, Miss. Everything will be fine.”

She thought no one would know. After all, only the two of them had been in the parlor, thanks to the Duke’s staff’s discretion.

But she didn’t even make it down the stairs.

“It’s dangerous to leave now.”

Barnes stood at the bottom of the staircase with a resolute expression. Behind her were several familiar faces—people she had seen daily in the mansion. They seemed to be standing there to stop her from leaving.

Why? How could they appear so suddenly, as if they had been watching my every move?

The bones on the back of her hand stood out as she gripped the railing. She turned her gaze, searching for an exit, but all the paths were blocked. 

Why did it feel like I was running away? I was only trying to return home. 

Rumble. Thunder echoed in the distance. 

“Move aside, Madame. I understand what you’re worried about, but there’s no need to fear that this will cause trouble for the Young Master.” 

Bang! Lightning split through the darkness. 

Was this punishment for coveting what wasn’t mine?

The suffocating standoff was broken by the sound of the heavy front door opening, followed by the rush of rain, light, and a figure stepping inside. 

The sound of wet footsteps squelched on the floor. He approached her, his golden hair, heavy with rain, clinging to his head. Dressed in a sharp black uniform, he didn’t look like someone who had just walked through a storm. 

“Why are you out here? It’s cold.” 

“…Idris.” 

“I told you to wait for me.” 

His tone was still kind, his manner soft and polite. 

So why didn’t he seem like the man she knew? The cold, crisp scent of a forest filled her nose, making it sting. 

“It’s too late to go back, Hillienti.” 

His voice, calling her name softly, fell like raindrops. His deep eyes, like a summer forest in the rainy season, blinded her, and his careful touch, as his long fingers gently brushed her hair, held her captive. 

It was, as he said, too late to go back. 

“Stay by my side.” 

He had known her feelings all along. He also knew that no matter what he asked of her, she wouldn’t be able to refuse. 

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it all to you.” 

When he lowered his head and gently kissed the end of her hair, she felt like a fish caught on a hook. His red lips moved slightly, but it was too late—she had already swallowed the bait. Sweet desire burst beneath her molars, too intoxicating to spit out. 

She swallowed it whole, letting it sink deep into her core. It didn’t hurt. Instead, a thrill close to ecstasy swirled through her body. 

He needed her. She was the only one who could stay by his side. 

“Hillienti.” 

The sound of rain grew distant. A quiet, like the kind one might expect in a city buried under volcanic ash, settled over them. The only sounds were his heavy breathing and the faint tension of him swallowing. 

The man, who was always composed, sometimes even indifferent, now focused all his attention on her. The sight of him, so attuned to her, was like a winter rose blooming before her eyes. 

Now that he understood her feelings, he could crush her at any moment, but his cautious approach thrilled her. 

“Anything?” 

Her lips parted slightly. The words that slipped from her soft lips felt like they melted into the air. With the thought that no one else could hear them, she boldly stepped closer to him, stopping just short of touching his lips. 

He caught her hand before she could move further. His grip, like a tangle of thorns, was firm yet gentle. 

“Anything.” 

Those short syllables were everything she had ever longed for. 

It felt too much like a dream, too surreal to believe his words immediately. 

“…Can you really give me everything?” 

“On my name, I swear.”

“There’s no need to swear on your name. Perhaps… your soul would suffice.”

They say love is like madness. Her heart screamed at her. 

She had come this far—what was there to fear? She reached out boldly, wrapping her arms around his neck, and whispered softly. 

“You need my name, my family, don’t you? Fine. Use me as much as you’d like.” 

He flinched as her hand brushed his neck, but he quickly lowered his head, allowing her to embrace him. 

“What I want is all of you, Idris.” 

Her love was unhinged. That must have been why it had lasted over ten years. If she had been in her right mind, she would have given up the moment he handed her the wedding invitation, saying he had found someone to love. 

She wouldn’t have done something as foolish as accepting to play the piano at his wedding. She wouldn’t have attended his fiancée’s funeral, laid flowers at her grave, or stayed by his side pretending to be a sister-figure. 

She was already standing on a cliff’s edge. A cliff she had climbed herself. She might fall and die, but wasn’t there also a chance she could fly? 

Maybe this was a chance given by the gods, pitying her long, unrequited love. 

“I won’t ask when you realized my feelings. But Idris, my emotions are deeper and greater than you think. Can you love me as much as I want you to?” 

“……” 

“All I want is for you to love only me.” 

Her life had been full of abundance, without any lack. But no matter how much she wished for it, there was one thing she could never have. 

Since she was seven years old, she had prayed every night before sleeping, made wishes on her birthday candles, and whispered her desires to falling stars. All she had ever wanted was to stand by his side, to receive his love. 

Even if it was a lie, she was ready to be deceived, as long as it was him. 

Taking a deep breath, her heart swelling to the brim, she spoke. He didn’t answer. 

Perhaps it was because what she asked of him was akin to vowing to erase her from his life, to live as though she had never existed. 

But she wasn’t foolish enough to sacrifice herself for love without any promises in return. Confident that he would never let her go, she revealed her selfish, ugly, and greedy side without hesitation. 

“Swear it. Then I’ll believe you.” 

His long golden lashes trembled slightly, but his clear blue eyes, shining like jewels in the sunlight, showed no movement. 

As she anxiously twisted her fingers into her damp palms, his soft lips parted slowly. 

“…Alright. I swear. I’ll give you my soul.” 

The thrill that coursed through her body was like the first time she had pressed a piano key. 

Even though she knew how absurd and impossible his words were in this modern age, where black magic and alchemy were considered lies, she felt like she could fly. 

As a child, she had begged her father countless times to let her marry him, only to be refused. Her brother Kashian’s disapproval and Idris’s vague rejections had crushed her hopes. 

But now, her long-forgotten wish had come true. 

She tried to suppress her smile, pressing her trembling lips together, but she couldn’t hide the quiver in her voice. Her overflowing emotions spilled out like a river, pooling at his feet. 

“Even if it’s a lie, it’s nice to hear.” 

“It’s not a lie. I can’t say I love you right now, but I’ll treat you with respect.” 

He didn’t avoid her. Instead, he stepped deeper into the river of her emotions. 

Confident that he would eventually love her, she rose onto her toes, her pride swelling. 

Consumed by her arrogance, she quietly gripped his coat and whispered fervently, voicing a dream she had held for so long. 

“Give me a token of your vow.” 

Their noses nearly touched. Their breaths mingled. After a moment’s hesitation, his shadow fell over her, and his body pressed against hers. 

The world changed overnight. It was a miracle.