Chapter 5 (Part 3)

After sampling a few light appetizers, she focused on the sweet desserts and fruits. These were items rarely served in the meals prepared for the staff.

Watching her, Kayev began placing roasted meat and potatoes onto her plate, scolding her as he did so.

“Don’t just eat things that only children would like. You need to eat meat to gain strength. Take your time, but make sure to eat everything I’ve given you. From now on, we should eat together whenever possible.”

As he gently fed her pieces of meat, Kayev silently vowed to make this a regular occurrence. He had wanted to dine with her for some time, but her stubbornness had prevented it until now.

Celestia let Kayev fuss over her with a conflicted heart. She never imagined he would care for her so attentively. Life truly had its surprises.

A kind and tender Kayev Ruden? In the past, just seeing him smile would have made her so happy she might have fainted.

From the spring of her sixteenth year to the autumn of her eighteenth, she had yearned for even a small piece of his kindness, which he had refused to show. Why was he now showering her with it?

It wasn’t that she disliked Kayev’s actions. But some part of her heart felt uneasy. Even she couldn’t understand why.

“What’s in it for you if I eat well? Are you hoping I’ll have more energy to work harder?”

The words, spoken in a tone of irritation, weren’t sincere. The next ones weren’t either.

“Oh, or is it so I can serve you better in the bedroom?”

The sharpness of her words was harsher than she intended, and she quickly regretted them. But Kayev’s face had already hardened.

“…That’s not it.”

Kayev suppressed the urge to yell, as was his usual temper. The unspoken anger and frustration of not being able to convey his true feelings burned inside him.

It hurt. He felt a deep bitterness because he thought he understood why Celestia was acting so prickly.

He knew she still harbored some affection for him. The tender looks she occasionally gave him, the shy fragments of emotion she revealed—he could sense the lingering warmth of her feelings.

But when he asked himself if her heart was still the same as before, he had no confidence. After all, Kayev had been the one to destroy the House of Danverton and reduce her to a maid. It would be strange if she felt no resentment toward him.

Even so, there was no turning back now. Ever since that night when Celestia had reached out to him, Kayev had become a fool who couldn’t even catch a whiff of her scent without becoming aroused.

Since meeting her at sixteen, there had been a moment when Celestia’s magic began to knock on the door of his heart. Now, that magic had completely ensnared him.

Kayev took a deep breath to calm his anger and continued speaking slowly.

“Celestia, as I said earlier, I hate seeing you struggle. What I mean is, I want you to live a little better here. I… I want you to…”

He was clumsy at expressing himself in such matters, but he wanted to convey his feelings, even if awkwardly. He wanted to tell her that he sincerely liked her and was searching for a way to share a future with her.

However, her words that followed left him speechless.

“I know you’re satisfied with my body.”

Contrary to Kayev’s desperate feelings, Celestia didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Whatever he said would only hurt her in her current state, so she preemptively struck with harsher words.

Of course, she didn’t know what he was about to say. But even if he confessed his love for her right then, she wouldn’t have been able to believe it. On the other hand, if her assumption was correct and he only wanted her body, she would have been deeply disappointed.

This situation was unbearably difficult for her.

Her heart was overflowing with love for him, but if he confirmed that the only reason he was being kind to her was because of her body, she felt she would explode in anger.

It wasn’t unreasonable for Celestia to think this way. From her perspective, Kayev seemed to genuinely enjoy… the act. Besides, she had heard enough to know that men were supposedly obsessed with such things.

If, on that night, it had been another maid who entered his bedroom instead of her, Kayev would have taken that woman. And he might have been just as kind to her as he was being to Celestia now…

Once her thoughts took a bitter turn, they spiraled endlessly. With her twisted emotions, Celestia wanted to provoke him further.

“You don’t have to treat me so well. I’ll do whatever you want, so there’s no need to waste your energy. If you want to do it right now, I’ll lift my skirt.”

Her blunt words caused Kayev’s face to contort.

“Are you done talking?”

His reddened face and hardened expression made him look both furious and deeply hurt.

Kayev was indeed feeling both emotions simultaneously. He was upset that she didn’t understand his feelings and angry that she judged him as nothing more than such a man. It seemed Celestia believed that his devotion to her was solely because of their physical relationship.

Kayev found this frustrating. While it was true that their intimacy had unleashed his emotions, he didn’t desire her solely for that reason. He wasn’t starving for s*x—he was starving for Celestia as a person.

“You seem to be misunderstanding something, but I…”

He wanted to clear up the misunderstanding without getting angry. But just as he was about to explain, a knock came from the door leading to the parlor.

“I’ve brought tea.”

It was Bowen, the butler. Holding a silver tray with a teapot and cups, he frowned subtly when he saw Celestia sitting close to his master.

“This is the tea you always drink.”

After placing the teapot and cup in front of Kayev, the butler hesitated briefly before setting a cup down in front of Celestia as well.

“For this one… I thought it might be necessary.”

Recognizing the familiar scent of the tea, Celestia’s face hardened just as much as the butler’s. What he had brought was none other than contraceptive tea.

The day after Celestia had fallen into Kayev’s arms while under the influence of the drug, she had followed his instructions and sought out the butler. That was when he had first handed her the contraceptive tea. Sitting her down, the butler had asked her a series of questions.

Though his tone was subtle and his words indirect, Celestia had vaguely sensed his hostility. For reasons she couldn’t understand, he seemed to be extremely wary of her growing closer to Kayev.

Despite his flowery language, the butler’s words ultimately boiled down to telling her to stay away from his master. However, Celestia couldn’t grant his wish. As a maid, she couldn’t indefinitely refuse her master’s summons.

After that day, Celestia began avoiding Bowen deliberately, disliking his sharp gaze. And now, things had escalated to this point. Ever since Kayev started openly favoring her, the butler’s gaze had grown even harsher.

It was around this time that he began treating her as an eyesore. Yet, despite his disdain, he never stopped giving her the contraceptive tea. Celestia, too, accepted and drank the tea without protest. She didn’t want to bear a child either.

But the emotional pain was something she couldn’t avoid. The tea, handed to her as if to remind her of her place, seemed like a constant confirmation that no matter how close she became to Kayev, she wasn’t worthy of bearing his child.

After the butler left the parlor, Kayev, intending to resume their interrupted conversation, closed his mouth upon seeing Celestia’s expression.

“Celestia?”

Her face, darker than before, seemed to be related to the tea the butler had brought.

Kayev suddenly felt a surge of anger toward Bowen. Why did he have to interfere and ruin their time together with something he hadn’t been asked to do? He resolved to reprimand the butler severely later and turned his attention back to Celestia.

“Is it because of that tea? What exactly did Bowen give you?”

When Kayev frowned and took the cup to sniff its contents, Celestia protested softly.

“Give it back. That’s my tea to drink.”

Sensing that something was off, Kayev pressed her again about the tea’s nature. After a long silence, Celestia finally relented, though only after he threatened to call the butler back to ask directly.

“…It’s contraceptive tea.”

Kayev froze as if he’d been slapped.

“You’ve been drinking contraceptive tea… all this time?”

He was shocked not only by the butler’s actions, taken without consulting him, but also by Celestia’s acceptance of it. Most of all, he was stunned by his own ignorance and insensitivity.

“Damn it, why didn’t the butler discuss something this important with me…?”

No matter how harshly he criticized Bowen, it wouldn’t lessen his own guilt. Kayev felt like the worst kind of scum. No, he truly was scum. He had taken full advantage of her body without once considering the possibility of pregnancy.

The more he thought about it, the more disgusted he felt with himself, and the angrier he became at Bowen for not giving him a heads-up. Determined to reprimand the butler later, Kayev snatched the cup from Celestia’s hand.

“…From now on, stop drinking this tea. I’ll drink it instead.”

Celestia was dumbfounded by his impulsive declaration.