Chapter 5 (Part 4)

Surely, he was bluffing. 

She concluded as much.

“Do you even know what you’re saying, Kayev?”

“Do you think I’d say something without knowing what it means?”

“Do you even understand the side effects?”

“I know. I don’t care if there are side effects or not. Just know this—you won’t even have to smell this tea anymore.”

Kayev spoke through gritted teeth, his voice filled with frustration. Celestia, seeing his stubborn expression, chose to remain silent.

In the Kingdom of Panien, the herb used for contraception was mildly toxic yet highly effective. It was not difficult to obtain and was widely used, often brewed into tea.

What was peculiar about this herb was that it worked regardless of the consumer’s gender. Whether taken by a woman or a man, it prevented pregnancy. However, in practice, it was almost always women who drank the tea due to its severe side effects on men.

“I needed this anyway.”

The side effect was a loss of libido and potency. Rumors even suggested that it could cause impotence in extreme cases, which is why, despite its toxicity, women were the ones who frequently consumed it.

Before Celestia could stop him, Kayev quickly emptied the teacup, his face contorted in discomfort. At first glance, he seemed simply irritated, but was that hint of guilt in his expression just her imagination?

As if to confirm her thoughts, Kayev avoided her gaze and mumbled.

“I should’ve taken responsibility for this from the beginning. I’m sorry for leaving it all to you. It might sound like an excuse, but this is my first time dealing with something like this, so I lacked consideration.”

He couldn’t bring himself to raise his head, as though he was too ashamed to face her. It was the first time Celestia had seen him look so remorseful. She felt a faint, aching sensation in her chest.

…So, what, does he want me to praise him now?

Still upset, she grumbled internally, but it was true that her mood had improved compared to earlier.

As he said, she had felt down every time she drank the contraceptive tea alone. She had even suspected that Kayev might have instructed someone to prepare the tea for her, but knowing that wasn’t the case brought her some relief.

In truth, Celestia had always harbored a small amount of trust in him. She believed that if it were Kayev—her prince—he wouldn’t leave her to bear the burden of contraception alone.

The reason she hadn’t told him about drinking the tea was that she feared shattering that trust. She thought there was no point in mentioning it since she would have to drink the tea anyway. After all, in their relationship, it was always Celestia who had to make compromises. Even so, she wanted to stay by his side.

“Why are you making that face?”

At his question, she let out a hollow laugh. Kayev had an odd talent for apologizing sincerely while still managing to provoke her.

“What kind of face am I making?”

“You’re smiling, but it looks like you’re about to cry.”

Celestia met Kayev’s gaze directly as he looked down at her. 

At some point, he had moved closer. Without realizing it, she reached out and wiped his lips. His well-shaped lips glistened with moisture from the tea he had downed in one gulp.

Kayev looked slightly flustered at her touch. Clearing his throat deliberately, he shifted uncomfortably, crossing his legs. Her gaze inadvertently dropped to his lap. The noticeable bulge created a clear outline even through his clothing.

When Celestia raised her eyes back to his face, he avoided her gaze, embarrassed.

“Doesn’t seem like it’s working, considering I just drank it.”

At his shameless comment, Celestia narrowed her eyes.

“Oh, really? Since when, exactly?”

Kayev avoided her gaze as though he were guilty of something.

“Well… since the moment you touched my lips?”

Her eyes narrowed even further. Though she wasn’t usually quick to pick up on things, she could tell he was lying this time.

“Really?”

His shoulders flinched, and he visibly tensed. The tips of his ears turned even redder.

“…Fine. Let’s just say it started when you were eating earlier. You looked so cute while eating that I couldn’t help myself…”

But Celestia’s skeptical gaze didn’t waver. Finally, Kayev admitted defeat.

“Alright, fine! Honestly, I’ve been like this ever since you walked into the room. Damn it! I can’t even see your shadow without ending up like this. Happy now?”

Kayev’s face turned completely red as he grumbled, clearly embarrassed. Celestia couldn’t help but laugh.

Despite being the same age, Kayev had always seemed distant, with his stoic demeanor and rigid attitude. For the first time, he seemed approachable and endearing.

Perhaps that’s why a spark of courage flickered in her heart, which had been slightly subdued. Seeing him flustered and blushing made him seem far less intimidating than before. He no longer felt like the man who had once built a tall wall between them.

At that moment, Celestia felt an impulse to simply enjoy the time she had with Kayev. Whether his feelings for her were eternal love or fleeting desire didn’t seem to matter anymore. She was ready to accept whatever he offered.

Watching her family’s downfall had taught her one thing: there was no such thing as tomorrow in this fleeting life. If she didn’t seize what was in front of her now, there was no guarantee it would still be there tomorrow.

Just like Kayev Ruden, who was sitting right in front of her.

“Celestia…?”

Unlike usual, Celestia reached out to him first, catching him off guard.

“Wait, Tia, what are you—ugh!”

Hesitant but accurate, her hand moved between his legs, causing his face to flush all the way down his neck.

“Why? Isn’t this what you wanted? Or am I wrong?”

She tried to sound nonchalant, but the heat and firmness she felt through the fabric made her own face flush. She didn’t care if she seemed shameless. If the price of enduring a moment of embarrassment was Kayev’s body, it was a trade she was more than willing to make.

She had told herself that if all he wanted was her body, she would give it to him freely. But in truth, that was self-deception. It wasn’t just Kayev who desired her body—she also craved the act that allowed her to lose herself in pure pleasure.

She loved the way he moved as if she were the only woman left in the world. She loved how he clung to her, held her, and explored her body with obsessive fervor.

To put it bluntly, she was aroused. Watching him fuss over her like a mother bird or stubbornly insist on drinking the contraceptive tea himself had stirred her deeply.

Celestia felt the same way—her body responded to him just as strongly. Whenever she met his intense gray eyes, which seemed to pierce her very soul, her stomach tightened, and heat pooled in her lower abdomen.

Since he had made her this way, wasn’t he at least partially responsible?

Celestia thought recklessly.

“I want to do it too. What, you’re fine starting whenever you want, but you don’t like it when I initiate?”

Her provocative words made Kayev briefly wonder if he had somehow ascended to heaven. However, the content of her statement quickly flipped his world upside down.

“Say something that makes sense, Tia.”

Kayev clenched his teeth as he replied.

The intensity in his stance, as though he might leap at her any second, made Celestia hesitate momentarily. But she couldn’t back down like a coward. She removed her hand from pressing against his center over his trousers and made an even bolder move.

“I’m saying, let’s do it.”

She began unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time.

This was the first time she had taken such an assertive step. The unfamiliarity of her actions made her heart race wildly, yet she also felt a strange sense of exhilaration.

In the days when she had been infatuated with Kayev on her own, Celestia had spun countless fantasies with him as the lead. However, the imagination of a teenage girl had its limits, and the most she could envision was a shy kiss at a romantic wedding.

And now, here she was, teasing Kayev with her own hands. The irony of it all brought an odd sense of nostalgia to her.

While she was lost in her thoughts, Kayev remained silent, holding his breath as he waited for Celestia to act. From his perspective, her shy and clumsy touches were maddeningly tantalizing, but for some reason, he felt he should let her do as she pleased today.

More than anything, this situation was incredibly encouraging for him. The fact that Celestia, who had always seemed somewhat passive and dejected, was now initiating something was monumental.

Beyond that, the sight of her revealing her honest desires for him was mesmerizing in itself. Regardless of the reasons, the fact that Celestia was also physically drawn to him was a welcome development.