Chapter 7 (Part 2)

Time flew by like an arrow, and two years passed in the blink of an eye.

Of course, for lovers separated by circumstances, it was an excruciatingly long and tedious time.

Kayev endured what felt like an eternity, longing for the day he could reunite with Celestia. Even on the battlefield, her face never left his mind.

Every day, the memories of her appeared differently. Some days, he recalled the early days when they first met. Her bright, youthful face, still bearing traces of a young girl, lingered sweetly in his memory.

Other days, he thought of the twenty-one-year-old Celestia, who had confessed her love to him so earnestly. In truth, it might have been that confession that helped Kayev endure his overwhelming longing.

Day by day, drawing strength from his memories of her, Kayev pushed himself forward. Finally, the long-awaited day arrived. Every wait eventually comes to an end.

Driven by a single-minded determination to return as quickly as possible, Kayev led the conquest and achieved victory sooner than anyone had expected. He returned to the kingdom triumphant.

The Crown Prince’s hospitality and the welcoming crowds of the kingdom’s citizens did not interest him. Now recognized as the kingdom’s greatest knight, the Duke of Ruden cared only for reuniting with Celestia, who had been waiting for him.

As soon as all official ceremonies were over, Kayev rushed back to his estate. But his joy turned to despair in an instant.

“Celestia… is gone?”

When he returned to the mansion, filled with anticipation of seeing her again, there was no longer any trace of the maid named Celestia at the House of Ruden.

***

“…What do you mean, Celestia is gone?”

Kayev stood in his study, still clad in his armor from the long journey.

It felt like just yesterday that he had bid Celestia farewell in this very room before heading to war. He had taken it for granted that she would be here waiting for him upon his return.

“It’s exactly as I said. Less than a month after you departed, Your Grace, that maid Celestia left the estate. It seems she even managed to steal a key—she took all the money from your personal vault.”

Kayev listened to the butler’s words in a daze.

Whether it was sorrow or anger filling his heart, he couldn’t distinguish. The abnormal pounding of his heart made his ears ring.

According to the butler, Celestia had disappeared shortly after Kayev left for the battlefield.

“Fortunately, the amount stolen wasn’t significant, so we didn’t pursue her. We considered apprehending her for punishment, but since she was someone you held dear, even if only briefly…”

“Held dear… briefly?”

“Ah, was I mistaken?”

“Is that how it looked to you? That I merely held her dear?”

Only then did Bowen notice his master’s distorted expression and began to sweat nervously.

“I distinctly remember asking you to take good care of Celestia while I was away. And yet, this is how you’ve handled things?”

In the back of his mind, Kayev knew that his anger toward the butler was somewhat misplaced. If Celestia had truly left of her own volition, it wasn’t the butler’s fault that she hadn’t been stopped.

Yet Kayev found it hard to believe the butler’s story. Of all people, Celestia—stealing money and running away? The woman who had confessed her love so earnestly, who had remained steadfast through all hardships, couldn’t have fled in such a manner.

Kayev questioned the butler repeatedly, wondering if there had been some misunderstanding or if there was another reason. But Bowen, feeling deeply wronged, insisted on his innocence.

“Your Grace, though I have not served you for long, my loyalty to the House of Ruden has always been sincere. Even during the family’s darkest times, I remained committed to serving the House of Ruden rather than joining another noble household! While you were at war, I did my utmost to protect the estate. Yet now, you treat me like this… It’s truly unfair, Your Grace. Moreover…”

As the butler pleaded with an earnest expression, he pulled out a letter. He explained that he had kept it to show Kayev upon his return. Seeing the familiar handwriting on the envelope, Kayev’s hands began to tremble.

“This is evidence that the maid left of her own accord. It’s a personal letter addressed to you, Your Grace, so I haven’t read its contents.”

The letter was brief. It thanked him for his kindness but explained that she couldn’t wait endlessly for someone who might never return from the war.

Though it was still hard to believe, Kayev focused more on the handwriting than the contents of the letter.

“Bring me the contract Celestia signed when she came here.”

Even without comparing it deliberately, the letter was unmistakably in her handwriting. The signature at the end was perfect, leaving Kayev with no room for doubt.

The thought crossed his mind—

Could someone have forced Celestia to write the letter? 

But he soon dismissed the idea. There was no one in this estate who bore such a grudge against her, a powerless maid, to drive her out by such means.

The most suspicious person was the butler, but even he lacked a motive. As a descendant of a family that had long served the House of Duke Ruden, he had no reason to commit such an act.

Above all, the words Celestia wrote at the end of the letter spread like poison in Kayev’s heart.

[Though I reminisced about old memories and spent time with you, how could I truly love the enemy of my family? I needed you only to survive in the Ruden Estate]

That sentence pierced Kayev’s heart. And the contents that followed were enough to tear it to shreds.

[To be honest, I even feel relieved to be able to write you this letter. Did you enjoy toying with me all this time? Then let’s call it even. I, too, had quite some fun watching you pine over me. Let me give you some advice: don’t trust women so easily in the future.  

From Celestia]

After staring at the letter for a long time, Kayev finally acknowledged the butler’s words as truth.

Celestia had left because she couldn’t wait for him—or rather, she had never loved him in the first place. Before, for some reason, she had pretended to love him, but when he left for the battlefield, she must have decided there was no longer any need for the pretense.

Thinking back, he had sensed something was amiss even on the battlefield. He just hadn’t been able to accept it. Unlike himself, who seized every opportunity to write letters, Celestia had never once replied. Only after returning home did he understand why—she had never even read his letters.

It was only then that he truly realized it. Celestia Danverton had never loved Kayev Ruden. Perhaps she had, for a fleeting moment in their youth, but not since. He could no longer discern where the truth ended and the lies began.

During those brief moments when he accepted the painful truth that she did not love him, his soul shattered into pieces.

Even more despairing was the fact that, despite it all, he still yearned for her. He didn’t care if she didn’t love him—he just wanted her to appear before him. If she were standing in front of him, at least he could demand answers. But the one who had vanished left no trace behind.

Two years. A period that could be either long or short, during which he dreamed of her every night. He thought he might die from missing her so much, and yet, realizing she had never loved him left a bitter taste rising in his throat.

“…Do you know where she is?”

The sudden question from his master startled the butler.

“Pardon…?”

“Do you know where she went, or how she’s doing?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t think it necessary to find out…”

Facing the flustered butler, Kayev mocked himself. 

What difference would it make to know where she was or how she was living?

After all his turmoil had passed, he was left utterly drained, completely devoid of strength. 

What had my love been for? Why had I gone to war? Why had I fallen asleep every night dreaming of a future with her?

He had returned bearing the gift of restoring the Danverton family’s title, yet the one meant to receive it was gone. Kayev could no longer think of what he should do. Only a crushing fatigue washed over him like a wave.

“You may leave. You’ve worked hard guarding the estate in my absence.”

“What about your change of clothes and bath preparations…?”

“I don’t need them.”

Faced with his master’s firm dismissal and deeply sunken expression, the butler quietly left the room. Bowen, the butler, was inwardly taken aback by Kayev’s unexpected reaction.

He had expected the young Duke to be heartbroken over the departure of the woman he intended to make his mistress, but he hadn’t anticipated such a look of utter devastation.

Had his feelings been deeper than expected? If I had known, perhaps it would have been better to ensure her death… 

Bowen clicked his tongue inwardly at the dreadful thought but knew it was impossible to locate Celestia now that she had disappeared after being expelled from the estate.

In any case, it was all a matter of time. Bowen thought arrogantly. He couldn’t stand by and watch the young Duke make a poor decision, blinded by a fleeting infatuation. He was certain that, someday in the distant future, Kayev would thank him for this. With that belief, Bowen quietly closed the door to Kayev’s study.

However, contrary to Bowen’s lighthearted assumptions, Kayev’s love for Celestia was deeper, darker, and more tenacious. The man who had lost his love crumbled alone behind the closed door. The frustration of not being able to see the one he longed for, combined with the betrayal of the one he loved, coalesced into a searing rage.

Even pounding the floor and breaking objects didn’t alleviate the fury that consumed him. Lost in his anger, Kayev kept thinking.

The image of her smiling at him, the pure expression on her face as she confessed her love… All of it had been a lie.

It was still hard to accept, but the unresolved misunderstanding hardened in his heart, fueling his rage.

Yes, they say you can know the depths of water but not the depths of a person’s heart. Had he learned nothing from the betrayal he experienced before? When the House of Ruden was falsely accused of treason, who had turned their back on them first? The nobles and retainers who had once been so favorable to them.

People would do anything to survive. Celestia was no different; she was a mere human being in the face of survival. A powerless noblewoman didn’t have many ways to live. Kayev must have seemed like a good lifeline when he appeared before her. If there was a mistake, it lay in his failure to recognize this.

If only she had told him the truth. Even if Celestia had intended to use him completely, he would have loved and protected her.

It was such a flawless lie. So convincing that he had believed without a doubt that she truly loved him. His heart was now ground into dust.

Like a fool who could only think of one thing, Kayev had spent all this time dreaming of Celestia’s happy future. Now, he had no idea what to aim for or how to act.

But one thing remained. In his hand was still the King’s decree, recognizing the restoration of the Danverton family’s title. The rightful owner of the decree was Celestia, and he had to meet her somehow to deliver it.

When he’d hand it to her, it would likely be their final meeting. Perhaps Kayev would confront her and demand to know why she deceived him. He might even grovel and beg pathetically. Whatever the case, Kayev had to see her at least once.

No, he couldn’t give up like this. Using the decree as an excuse, he would find a way to see Celestia’s face once more. Driven by that single obsession, Kayev gathered the pieces of his shattered heart.

The man who had once dreamed only of a joyful reunion with his lover became a hollow, lonely soul that night, falling into a desolate sleep. The depth of the scars etched into his heart was known only to himself.