You Say This Child Isn't Yours!? - Chapter 8

“You said you’d become a knight to protect the princess when you grew up.”

“Well… I don’t think I’ve achieved that yet?”

“Why not? Guarding the palace means protecting the princess too…”

“The princess I meant was you, Erica.”

“……”

Princess Erica. The village girls used to mockingly call the unusually proud Erica by that name. Roderick was the only one who called her that nickname sincerely.

“What princess? I’m just a country girl.”

The topic Erica had tried to change circled back to the beginning.

“Besides, if it’s about repaying me for protecting you when we were young, you already have.”

“Just for saving me from a wolf once?”

“What do you mean ‘just’? And about that axe you gave me…”

On the way to the village, their conversation would flow and then break off. Topics changed rapidly. It was because they kept having to quickly change the subject whenever it drifted to the topic they were trying to avoid.

“We’re almost there.”

Finally.

As dusk began to settle at their feet, they reached the edge of the forest. From the brightly lit village square in the distance, faint music could be heard. The last dance would begin soon.

Just as they were about to step out of the forest and into the village–

“Don’t go.”

Something pulled at the end of Erica’s sleeve. It was Roderick’s hand.

“Come with me.”

To the Royal Capital. Adding that, he confessed without taking a breath, seemingly afraid she would refuse.

“I came here to see you.”

She didn’t turn around. She could tell just from his voice that Roderick’s face must be flushed red right now. He probably didn’t want to show her.

His fingers moved from her sleeve to her wrist. His hand traveled down her palm, their hands overlapped, and their fingers intertwined. Just like by the stream before sunset.

“Erica, I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.”

That’s when Erica was certain. The reason their conversation had been going in circles was because one person was trying to say these words while the other was trying to avoid them.

“I decided long ago. That I’d confess properly when I became an adult. I thought I’d feel confident once I had a respectable job, money, and a place to live. But now that I see you, I feel small again, like I’ve gone back to being a child.”

These words came from a man who stood a head taller than Erica. The hands that could fell a wolf with one swing of an axe were now trembling, unable to properly hold her hand.

Their fingers were so loosely intertwined, it seemed precarious. As if they would separate forever if Erica didn’t grip back with equal force. As if all decisions rested with her.

But she couldn’t readily grab hold, nor let go. Even more so, she couldn’t say whether she liked him or not.

Why was it so difficult?

While Erica remained silent, Roderick seemed to be caught alone in an emotional torrent.

“Ha, why am I acting like this? I’m such a fool.”

Me too.

It’s foolish to be wavering like this… foolish to be feeling such excitement.

Throughout her previous life and this one, she had never experienced love like others did. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say she hadn’t tried.

‘Is it because I can’t trust people?’

But she had always trusted Roderick. He was like a clear stream to Erica, without any secrets.

‘Is that why I’m feeling these emotions so unlike myself?’

When frozen fingertips begin to thaw, you first feel a tingling sensation. Perhaps the tingling in her chest since Roderick’s return was because her frozen heart was beginning to thaw.

After her previous life, where she had struggled to protect what was hers only to hasten her death, Erica’s heart had stopped beating. To be honest, until now, she hadn’t been living so much as letting life pass by listlessly.

But now her chest grew warm, as if the passion that had disappeared when she died in her previous life was returning.

Watching Roderick constantly keeping his eyes on her these past couple of days…

‘I guess this life is meant to be a gentle healing romance.’

She had such foolish thoughts, but then this morning when she woke up, she suddenly realized.

‘The reason our eyes kept meeting yesterday was because I was also constantly watching Roderick.’

Even in this boring daily life, dream-like things do happen. But that scared her too. Afraid of living another tumultuous life only to die meaninglessly.

That’s why she had avoided his feelings even though she knew them well.

“If I become a great swordsman and return as a much wealthier and nobler man than I am now, then…”

Actually, she had vaguely sensed that the words he couldn’t finish on the day he left were a confession, so it would be more accurate to say she had known his feelings for five years.

Erica turned to face Roderick. Despite being a grown man, one who could kill a wolf with one swing of an axe, he flinched just from their eyes meeting.

Roderick’s face was dark. Biting his lips firmly while waiting for Erica to speak, he looked like a prisoner awaiting his death sentence. This accomplished man was perfect in every way compared to a desperately poor country girl.

While his whole body showed an attitude of humble acceptance even if rejected, his eyes still held a glimmer of hope.

Suddenly, she felt a sense of déjà vu.

Roderick had been like this when he lingered around Erica after she saved her from the well when they were young. Afraid of being rejected when he asked to play with her. He was so happy when Erica nodded.

Starting from there, childhood memories flashed before her eyes like a kaleidoscope. But they stopped at age fifteen.

After that, all that remained of Roderick’s memories were waiting and disappointment. How hurt she had been when he suddenly left. That’s why she had been cold to him when he returned.

‘I’m like a child myself.’

And he probably doesn’t know how childishly happy she was inside when her hope that he had come to see her was confirmed.

‘Looking at it that way, I must have liked you too.’

If she sent Roderick away now, Erica would gain a safe life with nothing to lose since she had nothing, but she would lose him forever.

‘How dramatic could my life possibly become just from falling in love with you?’

Having made up her mind, Erica finally spoke.

“Do you remember what you said yesterday?”

She meant Roderick’s answer when someone had mischievously shouted for them to kiss. Now it seemed okay to say what she had wanted to say then.

“You said you didn’t need a kiss of gratitude from me.”

“That…”

“If you don’t need a kiss of gratitude, what kind of kiss do you need?”

Roderick’s eyes wavered for a moment before steadying. He let out the breath he’d been holding and answered.

“Any kiss from you, gladly.”

“Then how about a kiss of promise?”

A full smile spread across Roderick’s face.

Those who have grown up together have the advantage of understanding each other without many words. Understanding what promise she meant, Roderick knelt before her.

The small leather case he had been wearing around his neck opened. Erica gasped in surprise at what came out of it.

‘Just how much does the palace guard pay?’

It was an elaborate and expensive ring that a commoner would never touch in their lifetime.

“Erica.”

Roderick spoke only after taking a deep breath.

“Live with me.”

“Play with me!”

It was a proposal that changed just one word from what Erica had first said to him.

What did you say back then?

“Just today? Tomorrow too?”

“No, for life.”

“Really? No taking it back.”

Same conversation. Different roles. They both burst into laughter as they connected their old promise to their future one.

Roderick slipped the ring onto Erica’s left ring finger and stood up. Face to face, they both ended up breaking into shy laughter, unable to bear the awkwardness.

“So now…”

Ahem, Roderick cleared his throat and asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Isn’t it time for our promise kiss?”

“…I suppose so?”

Despite being the one who brought it up, Erica hesitated as a large hand covered hers. Roderick held her hand much more firmly than before and led her into the forest.

Their lips finally met in the darkness.

While other lovers confirmed their love with dances blessed by everyone, these newly born lovers whispered their love secretly, known to no one.

Roderick’s old cabin was so remote that the festival noise couldn’t be heard. So no one would have seen the two of them sneaking in here.

When the table rattled, an empty wine bottle fell and rolled on the floor, but no one paid it any attention. Not even Erica, who had accidentally kicked the table when she got breathless.

“Ah, Roderick.”

“Haah, sorry.”

Their lips, which had been pressed together like one body, finally separated.

Roderick’s lips, wet with whose saliva they weren’t sure, glistened in the flickering light. Erica wondered if her lips were as red as his now. If her eyes looked as hungry as his.

“If it’s too much, we can stop…”

“No.”

Don’t hold back. Consideration that no one wants is rather discourteous.

Their briefly separated lips met again before they could catch their breath. The kiss that had started as simply pressing their lips together just a couple of hours ago had now deepened to the point where it could only be described as intertwining.