The wine had been long gone without a drop left, yet its sweet and bitter taste kept lingering on their tongues. The kiss was stronger than wine. It made their heads spin.

Their minds seemed to melt into a puddle from the hot friction, but then….

Smack.

The strange sound of flesh touching and separating made them snap back to reality, their ears burning hot.

That place where Roderick’s hands were now exploring.

His hands, which had been faithfully cradling the back of Erica’s head throughout their kiss, gradually began to reveal their own desires.

Hands gently entwining her hair, caressing the nape of her neck, tracing her earlobe, then sliding down.

The feeling of being touched, like exploring territories forbidden between friends, felt strange yet pleasant.

Erica’s hands also became increasingly faithful to their owner’s longing.

Her hands, which had been wrapped around Roderick’s neck, slid down his sweat-dampened skin. As soon as they slipped inside his open shirt, they felt his firm muscles. The muscles tensed and expanded wherever her hands touched.

“Haah, Erica.”

Roderick suddenly broke their kiss and grabbed her hands that were heading downward without hesitation.

“Why?”

“Ah….”

When Erica looked at him with round eyes, Roderick blushed and muttered awkwardly.

“This wasn’t in my plan….”

“Really? Then what did you plan to do after I accepted your proposal?”

“I planned to immediately put you on my horse and take you to the capital, but it’s too late now….”

How cute. Erica couldn’t help but chuckle.

“And then?”

“Show you where we’ll live, introduce you to my… acquaintances, then prepare for the wedding….”

While Roderick was carefully explaining his plan, Erica moved her free hand behind her back and untied her apron.

“I was thinking of doing this on our wedding night…!”

Roderick panicked greatly and grabbed her other hand that was unbuttoning her blouse.

“Why?”

Erica asked the man who held both her hands immobile.

“I didn’t know you were so traditional.”

If he had been that type of man, he would have formally asked Erica’s father for her hand, instead of snatching away a woman on the verge of announcing her engagement with a proposal, then attempting to leave the village as if stealing her away.

Why this sudden prudishness?

“It’s not exactly that….”

Roderick’s gaze swept around the room. The sooty, moss-covered beams and the windows sealed with wooden planks nailed shut, and the bed filled with wool borrowed from Erica’s house.

It was as far from romantic as one end of the continent to the other.

“I don’t want to create lifelong memories for you in a place like this.”

He added a promise that from now on, she would sleep on a bed filled with soft goose feathers instead of straw or wool, wrapped in silk bedding.

“That sounds nice, but what’s wrong with this place? If it’s with you, I don’t care about the time or place.”

Roderick covered his instantly reddened face with one hand and muttered.

“Do you even know what you’re saying…. This is driving me crazy.”

“If we’re going to be surrounded by silk and goose feathers from now on, spending one night in a place like this might become an even more unforgettable memory.”

Her plausible words and true feelings were actually quite different.

Life is unpredictable. Waiting for the perfect moment might mean missing the opportunity forever.

In her previous life, Erica had one lifelong wish.

‘I must whisper tenderly into Father’s ear when he’s on his deathbed.’

It was filthy being with you and let’s never meet again. In your next life, may you be born as the most fitting mop. At least then you won’t ruin innocent women’s lives.

She desperately wanted to say those words… but she died first. Had she known, she would have abandoned her position in the conglomerate and inheritance, hurled satisfying insults at him, and left.

Since then, she changed her mindset. Do what you want when you want to.

But in this life, she hadn’t particularly wanted anything until now. There was no reason to hesitate.

“Besides, this is the house where you were born and raised. It’s also where we played together. Isn’t that meaningful?”

Was that what broke his already wavering resolve? Roderick bit her lips once as if he couldn’t resist, then whispered.

“Tell me anytime if you want to stop.”

Soon, words disappeared and only rustling sounds continued quietly. As clothes piled up one by one at the foot of the bed, a strange tension built up equally in the cold air.

When nothing remained, that tautness reached its peak.

Whether due to the lamplight, the alcohol, or shyness, both their bodies instantly turned red. Though they had been together since they were seven and thought they had seen everything of each other, they had never seen each other like this. Yet neither tried to turn off the lamp.

It seemed any words would only create awkwardness. When they couldn’t speak, they communicated with their eyes, but when they couldn’t meet each other’s gaze, all that remained was their bodies.

As Erica’s arms wrapped around his neck, Roderick’s arms encircled her waist. Their bodies slowly tilted.

“Ah….”

As soon as the cold bed sheet touched Erica’s back, his hot body pressed against hers from above. In this unfamiliar sensation, they kissed as if searching for something that was at least familiar.

Meanwhile, their hands extended into unknown territories.

“Ah….”

“Does it hurt?”

“No. Don’t stop.”

They had spent almost their entire lives together, picking berries and herding sheep in mountains and fields. They had been so in sync that words were unnecessary.

But they had never synchronized for something like this, so everything felt cautious, awkward, and clumsy. Yet even that clumsiness felt precious when considered as a memory of their first time.

Quite some time passed, enough for the once cold and dry sheets to become hot and damp.

“Are you really… sure you don’t want to stop?”

Facing the point of no return, Roderick asked once more. It was both amazing and frustrating that he still maintained a shred of reason after reducing her to such a mess.

“Don’t hold back. Your unwanted consideration is rude.”

Finally, Erica voiced what she had been keeping inside. Roderick groaned, squinting his reddened eyes.

“If I really don’t hold back at all, you’ll regret those words.”

“Are you telling me to look forward to it?”

A soft laugh escaped through his tightly closed lips, and Erica laughed in the same way.

“Then….”

After a brief relaxation, the two bodies tensed again like taut bowstrings. If she hadn’t been intoxicated by his soothing voice and touch, Erica would have found it difficult to handle this overwhelming sensation.

“Ha, Erica.”

“Roderick….”

“Are you okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

In truth, Erica didn’t know how she felt right now.

Becoming one with a man she had seen only as a friend her entire life was indescribably strange and exciting.

She inadvertently placed her hand on his chest. His heart beat violently under her palm. His Adam’s apple bobbed as beads of sweat fell onto her.

His hair clung to his face with moisture, just like at the stream that afternoon. Roderick swept it back with one hand as if it annoyed him. His burning gaze poured down on her.

The moment their eyes met, he squeezed his eyes shut like he’s holding something back and exhaled a rough breath. That familiar face made an unfamiliar expression.

“Erica….”

That unfamiliar voice called her name in a familiar way. How could such strength come from that boy who had always seemed so frail? The Roderick she knew was doing things she didn’t know.

Familiar and unfamiliar aspects mixed together. At the increasingly blurry boundary between strangeness and familiarity, only ecstasy stood out clearly.

“Huk!”

An extreme sensation that rushed up all at once penetrated Erica from end to end. In a sensation akin to death, ironically, she felt alive.

Finally.

The life that felt like someone else’s finally felt like her own.

‘I’ll stop being a bystander and become the protagonist now.’

As determination welled up, so did sorrow.

‘What’s this worth anyway? What is he to me that I should make such a resolution?’

She had decided to own nothing and love no one in this life. She had never tried to hold back anyone leaving, yet she wanted to hold Roderick back when he left.

“No. This is better.”

She smiled, saying it was better that he left before she could become attached. But on the other hand, she must have already given him all her affection and waited. After all, she had always grazed her sheep along the path he had taken, endlessly staring at its end.

‘Where have you been all this time without contacting me?’

Her entire body has been tense, trembling, trying to hold back tears.

“Ah, Erica. I….”

Unable to withstand the overwhelming sensation, Roderick collapsed on top of her. Rubbing his sweaty forehead against her neck, he desperately confessed his love between gasps. Erica also embraced him tightly.

“I….”

And just as she was about to speak the words she had been holding back,

A scar?

As her hands slid down his broad back, the skin felt bumpy and then….

“Ah, it’s cold!”

Her fingertips stung as though she was touched by dry ice, something that shouldn’t exist in this world.

“What is….”

Before she could finish asking what it was, Roderick abruptly raised himself and removed her hand. The last thing she saw before he hurriedly blew out the lamp was his clearly panicked face.

Roderick covered her body again, pinned both her hands to the bed, and interlaced their fingers. It seemed like he was preventing her from touching that spot again.

She had no intention of overlooking his suspicious behavior. Erica asked Roderick, who was gently caressing her tingling fingertips,

“What was that on your back?”