***

Henrietta didn’t wake up until the middle of the night.

Her whole body felt heavy, as though she were waterlogged — like a sodden sponge weighed down by its own moisture. She shivered, pulling the blanket tightly around herself.

After brushing the edge of death, the first emotion to settle in her chest wasn’t fear or sorrow but shame.

The absurdity of it made her let out a hollow laugh.

The engagement of Duke Schutzman to the daughter of House Osborne: Robert’s marriage to her half-sister.

The more she repeated these words in her mind, the more distant they felt, like dry grains of sand rattling around in her mouth — meaningless and sharp.

When she’d first heard the news on the boat, darkness had instantly overtaken her vision.

Before her long-held feelings could properly shatter, they pushed her into the lake.

It was as if someone like her didn’t deserve to call it quits with a man of such stature.

Even the smallest touches, such as the velvety blanket brushing her fingers or the silk nightgown that was far too luxurious for someone of her station, only served to deepen her shame.

Whether from nearly drowning or watching years of unspoken affection crumble in an instant, the trembling that had begun the moment she opened her eyes showed no sign of stopping.

She looked around the room. It was far too extravagant for a mere governess. The massive bed, with a frame supported by towering carved posts, stood in the centre like a grand coffin.

Slowly, she stepped down and walked towards the window.

She parted the heavy jacquard curtains, which were woven so tightly that they barely allowed the moonlight to pass through.

A pale silver streak spilled across the floor. The garden outside looked exactly as it had the day before, just as silent and beautiful — perhaps even more so in the moonlight.

Still chilled to the core, Henrietta added more firewood to the fireplace. But it made little difference. She had to wrap her arms tightly around herself and shiver.

A soft carpet lay beneath her bare feet. The wardrobe, dressing table and desk all glistened with the luxurious sheen characteristic of aged mahogany.

It was all very much to Robert’s taste.

Suddenly, Henrietta felt sick of it all.

She knew she had to escape the room that she had once considered her salvation right away.

But her body, still weak from the lack of oxygen, could not easily muster the courage.

Tick, tick—

The second hand on the clock ticked forward, almost as if chasing her. Then, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“This is Pierre.”

“…”

“I’m coming in.”

Receiving no response, Pierre entered without permission.

Despite being middle-aged, he was still slim, and his long moustache accentuated his tall, lanky appearance.

As the head attendant, Pierre had never once been seen slouching. One might even have suspected that he had a wooden board strapped to his back.

“Miss Henrietta.”

He gave her a sidelong glance as she stood by the fireplace.

Pierre’s gaze had always been askew.

Henrietta wasn’t so naïve as to fail to recognise it — it was the kind of look one gave to something detestable.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, I’m fine. But what brings you here at this hour?”

“The master has asked for your presence.”

‘Right now?’

Robert had only entrusted Pierre with the task of fetching her.

This was because Henrietta was extremely wary of letting anyone else discover the true nature of their relationship.

Each time he summoned her to his bedchamber, she tried to ignore the deepening emotion flickering in Pierre’s eyes.

Same man, same words, same look  and yet, suddenly, it jolted her awake.

“I’m sorry, but…”

When Henrietta trailed off, Pierre’s face contorted.

It was only natural — until now, she had never once disobeyed the Duke’s orders.

Who was Robert Ian Schutzman?

He was the son of Josephina, the Emperor’s most beloved sister.

Back when the Empire lacked a solid economic foundation, he made his name by extracting gold from mines and travelling between countries to lay the groundwork for the Empire’s trade and manufacturing industries.

With the Emperor in poor health and the Crown Prince having died suddenly, he was now the most prominent candidate in the line of imperial succession.

“I will not go.”

“…What did you just say?”

“As you’re well aware, Head Attendant, I’m not in any condition to move right now.”

“Didn’t you just say you were feeling better?”

“I meant that I regained consciousness.”

It wasn’t a complete lie – her body really did struggle to move.

In the presence of a man who showed such open contempt for her, even walking barefoot across the carpet felt impossible.

“So you’re saying you’re going to defy the master’s order?”

The head attendant glared at her as though she had just committed blasphemy.

“If that’s how you heard it, then feel free to report it that way.”

Pierre’s eyes widened, albeit for a different reason this time.

Understandably so.

Henrietta had always behaved foolishly in front of him, as if ‘yes’ were the only word in her vocabulary.

For the past five years, she had lived like a ghost. Simply enduring that man’s heat, which surged towards her like flames, left her breathless and dizzy.

“So you truly mean not to go?”

“I never imagined a day would come when I’d have to repeat myself to you, Head Attendant.”

Henrietta walked back to the bed and pulled the blanket off. Even this small act required great courage, but it was enough to demonstrate her unyielding resolve.

“Do you know the master sent the family physician specifically to treat you?”

“…”

“And do you know what else? What kind of master cancels such an important banquet just because a mere governess fell into the water?”

“Please convey my thanks for his consideration.”

“The master himself rescued you from the water. Can you imagine the effect that will have on his reputation in society?”

But he hadn’t rescued her.

Henrietta’s hand, still gripping the blanket, hesitated. For a moment, her mind wandered to him.

She couldn’t clearly remember his face, but she could vividly picture the colour of his eyes: Deep blue eyes, like the sea.

Eyes as deep as the ocean. He was the only person to shake her and tell her to wake up.

She wanted to thank him. However, she felt that it would do no good to seek him out right now.

Besides, she was far too exhausted to argue with Pierre about who had saved her.

“Please thank him as well.”

Pierre’s face flushed a deep red. His expression hardened, but he didn’t press the matter any further.

“Just remember this one thing: you owe the master your deepest gratitude for his generosity and grace.”

Although he continued to show his displeasure, he ultimately couldn’t force her to comply.

Clicking his tongue, the attendant tugged at his stiff vest and turned to leave the room. Once he was gone, Henrietta’s shoulders slumped.

She had pretended otherwise, but her entire body had been tense.

“Ha…”

‘So it was possible to say no.’

It was that simple — she could just say she didn’t want to.

Having given up on sleep, Henrietta sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room.

Her belongings, completely out of place in the luxurious setting, were crammed into one corner.

It was as if she were just a temporary guest who would be leaving at any moment.

She slowly walked to the wardrobe, bent down, and grabbed the handle of a large bag shoved into the corner.

She pulled with all her might, but the oversized bag caught on the wardrobe door and wouldn’t move.

‘Why are you being difficult too?’

Pulling hard at the handle, she lost her grip, fell straight to the floor, and hit it with a thud.

Henrietta sat there, dazed, for a moment. Then, hiccuping, she could no longer hold back the tears spilling from her eyes.

She bit her lip and buried her face in her hands.

“Just for today…”

Just tonight, she would allow herself this moment of regret and longing.

Whispering the vow aloud, she tried to make it real, but once the tears began, she couldn’t stop them.

Even though no one was watching, she stubbornly wiped her face with her clenched fists.

“It’s okay. It’s nothing. Nothing happened to me.”

She would leave at daybreak. Her contract hadn’t ended yet, so she couldn’t leave the mansion completely.

At the very least, though, she no longer wanted to sleep in this tomb-like place.

Perhaps, with his engagement approaching, Robert was hoping she would leave quietly of her own accord.

Although the timing and manner were not what she had expected, the outcome was the same.

She stood up and took some clothes out of the wardrobe. The bag slipped out effortlessly.

“That’s right. One step at a time.”

She knew that she would eventually have to break free from this dreadful relationship before it consumed her completely.

Before loneliness consumed her body and destroyed her mind.

Before her pitiful attachment dragged her back down again.