Chapter 5 – Part 17

She didn’t know how she was supposed to feel. She didn’t want to spend her days ruminating and lamenting over things she couldn’t get back, so she gave them up one by one.

If she had hoped for forgiveness, she might have been angry, but for now, it was just something in the past that she didn’t want to dwell on, something she had no reason to remember.

Later, Ruby went down to the first floor, where voices were still audible. As she approached the reception room, she unexpectedly encountered Eli near the backyard. Seeing him, she remembered the incident in the backyard that she had forgotten.

“Did you just come in?”

“Yeah.”

As they got closer, she felt a cold breeze from him.

“Is Emily okay?”

While asking, Eli gently brushed her hair. Remembering the recent events, Ruby deliberately avoided his gaze.

“Uh, yeah. She’s sleeping. Shall we go in?”

“…Sure.”

The two entered back into the cheerful atmosphere.

* * *

“Wow, it’s so cool and nice here.”

Dominic exclaimed on the hill overlooking the village of Zenfield.

“I often come here to cool my head.”

Aaron stood next to Dominic, putting his arm around her shoulders.

Since the evening they danced together, the relationship between the two has changed dramatically.

Aaron came to see Dominic every night. On days when work finished early, they enjoyed nearby dates, and in the dark evenings, they spent time together, having dinner.

As a result, they saw each other more frequently than in the past year and became closer.

“I’m the one who asked you to come.”

Palman said it pointedly. Before it got colder, she wanted to show the landscape of Zenfield to the Marquis and Emily, and she prided herself on the fact that while the capital had its share of splendor, this place had its own charm.

“Thank you. If it weren’t for Palman, I wouldn’t have thought of going on an outing.”

Ruby conveyed her gratitude on behalf of them. Like most couples in love, Aaron and Dominic are immersed in their own world, and so others’ words might not reach them.

Ruby felt proud of the situation where Dominic, who had followed her and suffered, was now in a romantic relationship.

“This way.”

Eli pulled her waist a little further so she could sit more comfortably, and she stiffened slightly at his sudden touch. Normally, she wouldn’t have minded, but ever since that day, Eli’s actions have been bothering her.

When she realized that he’d actually pulled away from her, she couldn’t help but glance over at him wistfully.

So Ruby had to search her memory to see if there was any mistake that day. However, she only remembered the good atmosphere; she hadn’t found a clear answer yet.

“Palman, I want to see those goats over there.”

Emily pointed to a distant goat ranch. It was a distance that could barely be seen at her fingertips.

“That’s Mr. Bail’s ranch. Shall we go take a look?”

At Palman’s words, Emily nodded, carefully adjusting her hat.

“I’ll be back.”

Emily averted her gaze, muttered an unintelligible bow, and walked away. Since the sudden apology, it has become challenging for Emily to treat Ruby casually, regardless of Ruby’s feelings.

“I’ll come with you.”

Leton also stood up from his seat.

Lately, it has become his job to accompany Emily. Eli nodded, as if Eli were suggesting it, and Leton followed Emily and Palman.

“Don’t come back too late.”

Ruby shouted belatedly, unsure if they could hear it.

Once Aaron and Dominic disappeared to spend their time alone, only Eli and Ruby were left.

“I’ll take a look around here.”

She couldn’t help but feel a little nervous as she realized she’d been holding back.

Eli got up from his seat to follow her.

“I’ll come with you.”

“I can go alone. We need time to think, too.”

In various ways.

Ruby pointed out subtly. Surely he’d realize what she meant.

But instead of answering, Eli just stared at her.

If he were to ask what the meaning was, she was ready to honestly say it.

‘That you don’t know what you’re doing, that you’re trying to bend people’s minds and get away with it.’

“…I love you.”

But suddenly, he confessed. It was so abrupt that it seemed out of place. She forgot all the words she had thought about.

“Ha.”

Eli sighed deeply, his face showing distress.

“You’re driving me crazy.”

He was in pain as he swallowed the lump in his throat; she didn’t have time to rejoice in his confession.

“I know it’s selfish to be around you, but I can’t help myself.”

Even though he knew how despicable it was to turn away, Eli couldn’t stop himself. The desire to be by her side grew stronger and stronger, and he began to covet her happiness.

“Did Mother throw away the handkerchief you made for my brother? That is why you weren’t able to give it to him.”.

“It’s all because you were mistreated in Shuban, right? Not liking socializing, not even hosting a simple tea party.”

He just assumed she hated it. He didn’t realize there was hurt there, too—probably a million more.

Nevertheless, the fleeting happiness clung to his heart, and he refused to let it go. He had to be ugly to protect his happy feelings.

As long as Ruby is happy, he can be ugly. But if he was making her suffer, he had to stop.

“Ruby, Just…… abandon me.”

He couldn’t abandon her, not even in death. There was no way he could abandon her, the only lifeblood of a dying tree.

“…….”

“So just say one word to me, and this time I’ll really stop showing up in front of you.”

As Eli finished speaking, Ruby frowned. Just like she had a moment ago.

“You…… are so selfish.”

Those were her first words.

“All the time.”

Ruby slapped her hand against Eli’s chest.

“You are now leaving after finding someone who tried to run away and hide so hard.?”

“Ruby.”

Ruby’s hand on his chest grew stronger.

“Then why did you kiss me?”

Eli took all the hits as she struck. The pain in his heart was worse than the physical blows.

“Why do you shake the person who has tried so hard to hold onto her heart and make her a fool?”

In Ruby’s eyes, tears had gathered without her realizing it.

Once again, Eli had caused Ruby pain. He felt despair. And he had a feeling that it might really be the end. She was definitely sick of not only his family but also himself.

“I will also be greedy for you.”

“Yeah, do as you wish…”

Even if she told him not to show his face to her again, Eli, who reflexively answered that he had nothing to say, stopped talking. His pupils shook violently, as if trying to understand what he had heard.

“Ruby, right now…”

“There’s no society here, no family to bind us, so there’s nothing to hold us back.”

Wiping away the tears that had filled her eyes, she spoke as if telling him to listen carefully.

Her every word echoed Ruby’s feelings.

She hadn’t hesitated about him. She thought she should send him away, but her heart wanted a little more. Moreover, once she realized her feelings, she felt even more thirsty.

Ruby grabbed his arm. It felt like the feelings she had hidden all along were pouring out.

On the one hand, she wondered why they had to suffer so much. They like each other. In the end, it felt unfair.

“While you’re here… I want to be greedy for you. I will be.”

“…”

“What about you?”

“That’s what I want the most.”

It was a question that didn’t need to be asked. Eli wanted it more than anyone else.

“Then let’s do that. We’ll do as we please without caring about anyone else.”

After finishing her words, Ruby grabbed his shirt and hastily kissed his lips.

Eli, who was embarrassed, soon wrapped his arms around Ruby and awkwardly accepted her lips. Then, lightly lifting her onto his thigh.

Ruby also did not let go of the shirt she had just grabbed. It was even more public than the backyard of the house, but she had even fewer thoughts than before. She just thought that there was no need to hide her feelings anymore.

“Let’s go to the mansion.”

Later on, Eli looked down at her and kissed her chin, cheeks, neck, and shoulders with small kisses, as if urging her.

“Yes.”

Ruby answered and embraced his neck.

Eli lightly hugged her and got into the carriage. Then he kissed her without letting go of her, even in the carriage.

After a hot kiss, they seemed to separate for a moment, only to kiss again.