Chapter 2.13

Karl Lavresion burst into the room as soon as he heard the cries of the newborns. His eyes immediately landed on Leticia Evris, who lay motionless on the bed.

The sheets were soaked with blood. Blood covered the floor beneath the bed, her clothes—everywhere. At the sight, his rationality snapped.

“Leti!”

He grabbed her limp body and shook her. No matter how much he shook, her eyes remained shut. Her face was as pale as a corpse.

“Leti, Leti, Leti.”

He called her name desperately, but a sudden wave of fear made him press his fingers under her nose. Thankfully, she was still breathing. But it was faint—so faint it seemed like a candle about to go out.

Thump, thump. His heart pounded faster than ever. Anxiety and dread consumed his mind.

“Leti…”

“Don’t shake her body.”

The doctor said in a dry tone as he disinfected the area below.

“When delivering twins, it’s inevitable that the mother’s life is at risk. Especially since she’s so frail, it’s likely…”

The doctor trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. The fierce, icy gaze directed at him made his entire body stiffen. A chill ran down his spine, and he even felt his life was in danger. Clearing his throat awkwardly, the doctor resumed his work.

The midwife, looking troubled, handed the twins to Karl Lavresion’s subordinates instead of him. Hans and Ronan each took a baby.

Karl Lavresion didn’t spare a glance at the children. His eyes were fixed solely on Leticia’s pale face. Covering his mouth with the back of his trembling hand, he fought to steady himself. His lips and fingers quivered uncontrollably.

It felt as though Leticia Evris was slipping away.

Slipping away? Leaving me behind?

He had never even considered the possibility. She may have been thin and frail, but he had believed she wouldn’t die. She couldn’t. She mustn’t.

But…

The reality he had been too afraid to face loomed before him. He had never felt such fear before.

Not when his brother poisoned his tea.

Not when an arrow shot by his brother pierced his arm during a hunt.

Not even when he killed someone for the first time.

He had never been this afraid. Never this desperate.

“No…”

A trembling voice escaped his lips. He pressed his forehead against her cheek.

“No… Leti, no.”

The gazes of others didn’t matter. His entire focus was on the faint breaths she still drew.

If Leticia Evris died…

His thoughts stopped. His mind went blank, and his vision darkened. He couldn’t breathe.

Karl Lavresion finally understood why he had wanted to avoid Leticia Evris. Why he hadn’t wanted to see her.

And yet, why he had waited for her to come, why he could only watch her from afar.

It was because he was afraid.

Leticia Evris was as fragile and faint as a candle about to go out. Yet, the first time he saw her smile, it was as radiant and beautiful as a blooming flower. However, every smile he saw after that seemed as though it would vanish like ash… and he couldn’t look away.

She seemed like a sandcastle that could collapse at any moment. Like a fortress wall on the verge of crumbling. Something he felt he wouldn’t be able to bear.

And yet, he had harbored Leticia Evris in his heart…

When he saw her leaping into the lake, he felt that fear viscerally, and after that, he couldn’t face her. Cowardly, he wanted to run away.

She always seemed to carry death around her like air. The sight of her jumping into the lake was so natural, and because of that, so terrifying. It felt as though she would be sucked into the depths and disappear entirely. As if she had never existed to begin with.

He clutched at his chest. His heart felt like it was being torn apart. He had avoided and run from the truth for so long, refusing to face it… but in the end, he had no choice but to confront the reality of his emotions.

He had truly suffered, holding onto Leticia Evris, who had crumbled like a sandcastle.

Because of a first love that came too late…

***

Hans paced anxiously down the corridor. He couldn’t stay still.

“Ugh…”

His lord had entered the room where Leticia Evris was staying and showed no signs of coming out. Even though the sun was setting, he hadn’t eaten a single meal.

Curious about what was going on inside, Hans had peeked in once, only to quickly close the door again.

His lord, who was always so composed, was carefully wiping the frail body of Leticia Evris with a wet cloth. Just the sight of it made Hans’s skin crawl. No matter how many times he saw it, it was the same.

It had been two weeks since his lord had brought Leticia Evris to the Solar Palace. During that time, his lord had neglected his own well-being, staying by Leticia Evris’s side and personally nursing her.

Neither Hans nor Ronan could dissuade him. He was adamant. He personally washed Leticia Evris’s body, fed her medicine, and gave her water.

Rumors had already spread like wildfire throughout the palace. They said the daughter of a mistress had seduced a member of the Arhadan Imperial Family. That she was no different from her mother.

The Emperor, despite his daughter being on the brink of death, hadn’t visited even once. Because of this, Hans could immediately guess what kind of person the Emperor was and what kind of environment Leticia Evris had grown up in. He understood why she always had such a sorrowful expression, why she exuded such a tragic aura.

“Still, he should eat something! Why is he neglecting his own meals to care for someone who’s practically on her deathbed?” 

Ronan, who was pacing the corridor just as anxiously, muttered, mixing informal and formal speech. Hans smacked Ronan on the back.

“Quiet! What if he hears you?”

“Let him hear! He’ll just pretend he didn’t anyway!”

Ronan had already badmouthed their lord openly outside the door before. But their lord, too preoccupied with nursing Leticia Evris, hadn’t punished his insubordinate subordinate. It was likely the same now.

However, contrary to their expectations, the door opened.

“Ah!”

Ronan let out a startled yelp as a foot shot out and kicked him in the stomach, sending him sprawling backward. The grown man ended up in a ridiculous position, landing hard on his backside. When he looked up, he saw his lord glaring at him with murderous eyes.

“If you say something like that again, I’ll have your head, Ronan.”

“H-heuk… Y-yes, Your Highenss.”

Ronan straightened up, clutching his stomach, and replied in a subdued voice. Karl Lavresion didn’t respond and simply closed the door.

“He doesn’t say anything when we badmouth him, but…”

Ronan muttered sullenly. Hans let out a deep sigh.

***

When she opened her eyes, she saw a familiar ceiling. It was the house she had lived in for many years since childhood. From her birth to adulthood, it was a place filled with countless memories.

Though it wasn’t truly her house, as it was under the Baron’s name, it held special meaning for her. Even though they had been driven out by debt collectors, it still felt like home.

‘Leti.’

A familiar voice called out beside her. When she turned her head, she saw someone with wavy golden hair who resembled her deeply. It was her mother. It felt like it had been a very long time since she last saw her.

When their eyes met, her mother furrowed her brows and spoke.

‘I’m sorry for everything. The truth is, I love you very much, Leti… but I hated your father so much that I ended up resenting you too. I’m sorry for being so harsh to you.’

This is a dream. If it weren’t, there’s no way Mother would say something like this. The very fact that I’m lying in this house doesn’t make sense.

‘Leti, let’s live together from now on. You won’t have to suffer anymore. We’re bound by blood, aren’t we?’

Even knowing it was a dream, her mother’s words sounded so sweet. She gazed at her mother’s face as she gently held her hand. Her mother’s blue eyes, so much like her own, were filled with sorrow.

Her mother always looked at her with a sad expression, her eyes a mixture of various emotions. There was sorrow, resentment, and anger. Emotions so deep and dark that Leticia could never fully comprehend them.

Unable to predict or endure her mother’s fluctuating emotions, Leticia had always been busy tiptoeing around her, trying to read her mood.

In the dream, her mother had those same sorrowful eyes. It was better when she was sad. At least when she looked like that, she wouldn’t hit her.

‘In the end, it’s just us. Don’t you miss me, my daughter? Hmm?’

I miss you. But I don’t want to see you.

Still, she was curious about how her mother was doing. Why had the Baron abandoned her mother but only driven Leticia out? What kind of feelings did he have for her mother to leave her with such debts? But as much as she was curious, she was also afraid. The more she learned about her mother, the more she would want to understand her, to love her more…

If she faced her mother again, she would once again foolishly cling to her.

She still loved her mother. Foolish Leticia Evris.

‘You see, you love me too. I told you, I love you too, right? So let’s live together! You have to stay with me until the day you die!’

Her sorrowful mother transformed into an angry one. She shouted, grabbing Leticia’s shoulders and shaking her violently.

‘Leti! Do you know what I gave up to choose you? How much I had to sacrifice because of you?’

Those were words she had heard as a child. Even as she said such things, her mother would hug her and whisper that she was her treasure whenever the Emperor visited. Her ever-changing demeanor had always left Leticia anxious and uneasy.

‘You must stay by my side, no matter what!’

Her mother’s desperate voice…

That’s right. My mother has no one but me. I have no one but my mother.

No, I have…

Amy. Kind and gentle Amy, and her calm and good-hearted husband, Hugo. And…

Leticia placed her hand over her mother’s, which gripped her shoulder. Since it was a dream, she felt nothing. Even so, she clasped her mother’s hand and leaned into her embrace.

A familiar face. A familiar warmth. A familiar feeling.