I didn’t think there was any need to drag this out.

No amount of deliberation would change my decision.

Besides, the palace would soon be turned upside down over the Empress’s disappearance.

I couldn’t tell what Ainberg was planning, but I needed to resolve my relationship with Levi before his plan surfaced.

After my brother Allentain left with Soniel, Levi and I were buried in silence for a moment.

“……”

What I needed to tell him was clear.

I was hesitating only because I didn’t know how to begin, when Levi spoke first.

“Wanting to talk alone sounds a bit frightening.”

Levi said to me with a bitter smile.

“Sir Merten.”

“Len, you’re planning to conclude the conversation I started this morning, aren’t you?”

I nodded with a similar smile.

“If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have come with Allentain.”

He seemed to have already anticipated my answer.

His excessively anxious appearance made my lips feel dry.

Rejection is difficult.

Especially when it’s not just declining a simple request but refusing someone’s feelings.

The fact that Levi was a good person made it even more painful for me.

‘If only I had a clear reason to reject him.’

Like disliking his greedy and selfish temperament, or his terrible family background, or him being a scoundrel.

But far from having such flaws.

‘He’s kind and considerate.’

Levi was superior in every aspect, not just his innate character.

He was perfect, both objectively and subjectively.

That fact made my heart extremely troubled.

Because I would inevitably hurt him.

Of course, Levi’s current feelings couldn’t be compared to mine at all.

“I had hoped Len would think about it longer.”

“Sir Merten.”

“I thought it would be better to receive even false hope.”

“……”

“Then at least I’d have room for imagination.”

Levi’s voice, usually so stable, was strangely trembling.

Because of that, I couldn’t say anything except that I was sorry.

“I’m sorry.”

Of course, I knew no other words were necessary.

In our situation, a single apology would be more than enough to settle everything.

“I’m truly sorry. But I don’t think I can accept your proposal from this morning.”

I tried to speak as calmly as possible.

Levi showed no change in expression, as if he had already expected this.

Only the gentle and kind smile he always showed remained on his lips.

“It’s not that I dislike you, Sir Merten. It’s just my problem.”

Just as I said that.

“Your problem?”

Levi suddenly asked back, and I was momentarily dumbfounded.

“Well, that is.”

I wanted to be as honest as possible, but there were clear limitations to my situation.

There were things I couldn’t tell him, and most were beyond the point of our discussion.

“It’s because I’m foolish. So I don’t think I can accept your feelings.”

“Len.”

“Sir Merten should meet someone good. Not someone fickle and naive like me.”

“Isn’t that too harsh on yourself? The Duke would be upset if he heard.”

He made a joke, but I couldn’t laugh.

“You’re going to do great things in the future. I hope you meet someone who can support you well. A woman with broad knowledge who can provide good support.”

I didn’t know how Levi would take it, but it was my sincere feeling.

Just then, Levi seemed to tense one cheek and spoke.

“What if I don’t need someone to support me?”

“Sir Merten.”

“What if I don’t want someone knowledgeable, or always calm and worldly-wise?”

His voice carried more emotion than before.

While I was frozen, unable to say a word, Levi pressed on.

“That’s not what I need.”

I couldn’t even raise my head before his next words came.

Though I hadn’t done anything particularly wrong, I would have done anything to escape this situation if possible.

“I’m truly sorry that I can’t accept your feelings.”

All I could say was that I was sorry.

A suffocating silence flowed between us for a while.

I wasn’t used to this atmosphere at all, as being with Levi had always been comfortable and enjoyable.

‘But I can’t accept his feelings just because I’m grateful or sorry.’

Then, Levi relaxed his expression and spoke again.

“I also have something to apologize to you for.”

When I cautiously raised my head, Levi shrugged.

“Actually, I thought it would be difficult from the beginning.”

“Difficult?”

“I hoped and hoped it wouldn’t be so, but I felt that fate was flowing in one direction.”

What does he mean by that?

When I stared blankly at him, Levi smiled like himself for the first time.

“That in the end, you might become His Majesty’s lover.”

At these unexpected words, I slowly closed my mouth that had fallen open.

If this had been before I knew Ainberg’s true feelings, I would have raised my voice and strongly expressed my opinion that it was nonsense.

Perhaps I would have been up in arms before he even finished speaking.

“Sir Merten.”

But now I could do nothing but smile awkwardly, without any action or words.

I was just curious why he suddenly had such a thought.

Until recently, I clearly hated Ainberg.

Levi knew that fact better than anyone else.

“Seeing your reaction, it seems my intuition was right.”

Levi laughed bitterly and shook his head once.

Though I knew it was rude and would hurt him, I wanted to ask why.

‘No. That would make me too cruel.’

I was swallowing words I couldn’t say when Levi spoke first.

“I don’t know. If you asked me to explain why, I don’t think I could clearly.”

Wait, what? Do you know what I’m thinking?

“But I thought that your attempts to avoid catching the Emperor’s eye might actually look cute to him.”

“……”

“It seemed a bit that way to me.”

Is that why he told me to pretend to like him?

I pressed my lower lip once.

“I’m not sure how this will sound, so I’m being cautious.”

“…?”

“I thought there might be reasons I didn’t know on why you’re blindly pushing His Majesty away.”

I was actually a bit surprised by his next words.

Is he intuitive, or just perceptive?

“Sir Merten, why would you think that?”

“Whenever the Emperor came up, you became excessively excited and acted much more emotional than usual.”

“……”

“That’s not typical.”

“I see.”

I am the type who finds it difficult to hide emotions.

“I thought strong hatred might actually be evidence of interest. Perhaps, am I right?”

I just smiled lightly and held back my words.

He would eventually find out, but now didn’t seem like the right time.

Of course, my past feelings of hatred and loathing for Ainberg weren’t false.

But thinking about it again, maybe they grew stronger from my resistance because I liked him…

How do I explain this?

“Um, Sir Merten. The thing is…”

“It’s alright. I didn’t ask to hear an answer.”

Levi smiled sheepishly and stared at me.

His golden eyes looked somewhat sad.

“Perhaps everything was decided from the moment he issued the marriage ban.”

No, I was sincere then.

“That can’t be. Thank you for your help. Those feelings were genuine.”

“I know. You were always sincere, Len.”

“You were a good friend, Sir Merten. I’ll always be grateful.”

When I said that, Levi’s expression suddenly changed.

“Were a friend? Are you saying you won’t even be friends with me anymore?”

“Ah, no. That’s not what I meant.”

“There’s no need to draw such a line. After all, you’re still my best friend’s sister.”

He spoke in a playful voice.

I knew he was saying it to make me feel better.

But I still couldn’t properly raise my head due to guilt.

Then Levi gently called my name again.

“Len.”

“……”

“Even though I proposed and was rejected, I still like you.”

Hearing Levi’s comfortable voice was extremely painful.

My heart raced uncontrollably with anxiety, and I felt like tears might pour out at any moment.

But I managed to hold back and faced him.

“So please allow me to remain your friend as before.”