Chapter 44 – Illusion

And at that moment, like a lie, Mrs. Dunn’s contemptuous gaze and voice came to mind.

‘Get a grip, Miss. This isn’t a fairy tale world.’

Eloise couldn’t help but think:.

Was I caught up in an illusion?

But how could that be when the past few months were filled only with sorrow?

Instead of blaming the harsh reality, she tried to navigate through it somehow. She believed she could set everything right.

That’s why she mustered the greatest courage of her life and stepped into a new world.

She suppressed her fears and worries by pressing her fingernails into her tender palms.

But nothing went as she wished. Tragically, that was the conclusion. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to return home immediately.

Was I really caught up in an illusion? If that’s true, please wake me from this dreadful illusion.

In a corner of the chilly square, feeling as if she was embracing all the world’s misery, Eloise covered her face with her hands.

At the same time, hot tears seeped into the wounds on her palms.

She hadn’t meant to cry…

“Huuu…”

It felt as if even the last remnants of hope had vanished. She truly felt like giving up on everything.

Feeling unfamiliar and sorrowful for having such thoughts, tears flowed without resistance. And at that moment, Eloise heard footsteps approaching and stopping in front of her.

Who could it be this time? 

Naturally, she thought it might be another wretched character.

What kind of creatures are men that they would think of approaching a woman in such a pitiful state?

Ah, perhaps they speak to me more because I look like this. 

As she thought that far, a new wave of disillusionment washed over her.

She didn’t have the strength to get up and go anywhere immediately, nor did she know where to go.

Naturally, she didn’t have the energy to fight back. So, in the end, ignoring them seemed the best option. With that in mind, Eloise buried her face in her hands and held her breath.

‘Just walk by, please…’

But it was strange. The person who had approached her neither passed by nor spoke or grabbed her wrist.

They just stood there quietly.

‘What is it?’

Holding her breath with a nervous heart, she suddenly felt a chilling sensation. 

Could they be observing me? For what reason?

It was shortly after that Eloise became aware of the cool scent seeping through the gaps of her hands, cutting through the sweat and salty tears that wet her face.

‘…This scent…’

Her body suddenly stiffened. 

It must be a mistake. Surely it must be. So, am I having another illusion…

“What are you doing crying alone in a place like this?”

However, the deep voice resonating in her ears was too clear to be an illusion.

Eloise, forgetting that her face was a mess of tears, removed her hands.

What first came into view was a pair of pitch-black shoes, followed by a tall and solid body clad in a dark green uniform.

The moment her trembling gaze finally met the man’s face, all the noise of the square stopped as if by magic.

Ansel Blaine. Incredibly, it was him.

“I found you, Eloise.”

“…”

Eloise couldn’t say anything, only moving her lips silently.

His black hair swayed in the faint breeze, and the cool scent of bergamot lingered, with eyes fixed solely on her.

Everything was so vivid that it couldn’t possibly be an illusion.

But how was he here?

“Did you abandon me just to show me this pitiful sight?”

At his words, Eloise could only tremble her shoulders without responding. Ansel, with his straight eyebrows furrowed, crossed his arms and stood.

His intense gaze swept over her disheveled hair and clothes, her tear-streaked face, and her appearance, which gave no clue of what had happened.

For some reason, he seemed a bit angry.

Perhaps it was the unfamiliar military uniform. The gaze looking down at her felt overwhelmingly authoritative.

Feeling his gaze, Eloise blushed and turned her head.

It was because she suddenly realized what a state she was in.

She looked as if she had just woken up from sleep.

Sitting in the middle of a bustling square looking like this, it wouldn’t be surprising if he thought she had slept there.

How pathetic she must seem. How laughable. The result of leaving him behind in that cold darkness and turning away so mercilessly…

Hic, a weak sob escaped her again.

The feeling of her painstakingly held composure shattering was truly miserable.

“…Tsk.”

At that moment, he clicked his tongue irritably and abruptly picked up her old luggage bag. Her blue eyes widened involuntarily.

“That’s my…!”

“This way.”

Ansel, gesturing with his chin towards an alley on one side of the square, strode ahead with his long legs.

Having her bag suddenly taken, Eloise wiped her tears with the back of her hand and hurriedly followed him.

When they reached the alley, Ansel, arms crossed, was leaning against the wall waiting for her.

His neatly combed hair and straight forehead, his cold and expressionless yet indescribably handsome face. The faint shadow cast over him made him look like a painting.

“…”

He was so beautiful that just looking at him seemed to make her mind go blank.

It was clear that her heart was racing not just because she had run all the way here.

The days she had tried to avoid him crumbled with just one glance. It was a hollow feeling. It was even somewhat despairing.

Eloise quickly lowered her gaze to hide her feelings.

After taking a moment to catch her breath, she finally opened her trembling lips.

“…Please give it back.”

“Is that what you have to say right now?”

Ansel straightened up, questioning incredulously. As he closed the distance, his scent grew stronger.

Even as her heart was squeezed by the imposing presence of his large frame, she couldn’t help but take in his scent with relief, unable to deny herself.

Feeling pathetic about herself, a sigh-like chuckle escaped her.

“Why were you crying in the middle of the square instead of where you were staying? Did you get kicked out or something?”

“…”

Pathetically, his words were true, leaving her speechless.

He must have already known that this miserable silence was an affirmation. Eloise, feeling lost, had only one thought in her mind.

I need to get out of here.

‘He’s angry because he wants an apology, right? He must have felt wronged. After all, he and I are not equals. Above all, to get my bag back…’

Eloise barely managed to move her lips.

“I’m sorry for leaving like that that day. I…”

“That’s not what I want to hear right now.”

Did he not want an apology? 

His voice rumbled low.

His still cool voice, as if he was holding back anger, made her shrink back.

“What happened?”

“…”

Eloise couldn’t understand his intention in questioning her, nor did she think he had the right to do so. Naturally, she had no obligation to answer.

But more than anything, she lacked the courage to recount what had happened.

She didn’t want to become any more pathetic in front of him, who appeared so flawless.

It was quite ridiculous that she still had pride to protect despite looking like this.

“Where are you staying?”

“I’ll start looking today.”

At those words, Ansel let out a cold sneer and muttered in a terribly low voice.

“Go home, back to Maybury. Immediately.”

It was a command-like statement. Eloise protested in a suppressed voice.

“…I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“You don’t know what happened to us after that day. You have no idea what I’m feeling right now…”

When she lifted her trembling chin, their gazes finally met.

His cold gray-green eyes, with pupils darker than the night, were fixed on the woman in front of him as if nailed in place.

Eloise felt as if her legs would give way under his relentless gaze.

Her delicate wheat-colored eyelashes tensed up.

“I resented you. So much… But it’s all in the past, so I’m trying to let it go. Resenting you won’t change anything. To be able to say this, I’ve had to…”

“…”

“Please. Don’t appear in my life anymore. Just let it flow as it is…”

Whether it was because emotions welled up, Eloise couldn’t finish her sentence.

She looked as if she might collapse at any moment. Even so, her face, desperate to the point of pain, shook his rationality.

“…Are you serious?”

“It’s laughable, but I worried about you…”

Her continued response was neither an affirmation nor a denial.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing well.”

Murmuring with a face as faint as mist, Eloise reached out toward her bag at his feet.

She intended to turn away. Facing him was truly burdensome.

Especially for her, whose heart had already crumbled, it was even more harmful.

“…Ah!”

However, forgetting that she was injured, Eloise grabbed the handle carelessly and dropped the bag due to the burning pain.

Before the bag even hit the ground with a thud, Ansel had already grabbed her wrist.

“You said you’d pretend nothing happened.”

Ansel’s brow furrowed deeply as he examined her hand, covered with dark red scabs.

“Is it just my imagination that it doesn’t seem that way?”

“Sir Ansel, this hand…”

“Stay at my place.”

“…”

At those words, her heart plummeted helplessly. It was a statement so unclear in its intent that it made her doubt her ears.

Pale-faced, Eloise quickly withdrew her trembling hand, thinking.

Perhaps he came to exact revenge on me. How much more does he need to torment me…

“Eloise, I’m not asking you.”

When she looked up, Ansel’s eyes were profoundly deep. It felt as if she would be swallowed by that gaze.

“…What do you mean…”

At that moment, Eloise realized that the distance between them was close enough for their breaths to mingle, and her heart pounded fiercely.

Amidst the overwhelming tension, her anxious breathing scattered chaotically.