Chapter 17

She gazed at the waves lapping her toes for a long time. Ryu-il stood with his hands in his pockets, watching her.

“You said you wanted to see the sea, didn’t you?”

“I did?”

“When you were seven.”

“Oh.”

“When I said I’d gone, you insisted you wanted to go too.”

“I remember. We had fun reading sea books together, then you went alone and I got sulky. Didn’t you just leave me behind? I still remember that because it was the first time you did that, Oppa…”

Excitedly continuing the conversation, she suddenly realized she’d called him ‘oppa’ and shut her mouth. In her memories, he was always ‘Ryu-il-oppa,’ so it slipped out. Ryu-il pretended not to notice and shrugged.

“That was to visit my parents. We scattered their ashes at sea.”

Now she was the one at a loss for words. She hadn’t known and had cried and complained when he went to the sea alone.

“It must’ve hurt your feelings, but you were young too. You didn’t know anything, and I, four years older, was too harsh.”

His low voice mingled with the sound of the waves. He let out a soft laugh and continued,

“Looking back, I felt really sorry, so I always thought I’d have to come to the sea with you someday.”

She didn’t know what to say. In the silence, she thought about all the words they hadn’t shared over the years.

She hadn’t known he carried that memory. They’d seen each other often, but never really talked. If not for today, Ryu-il would never have told her. Because they were already distant, and would have to part eventually.

Still, sharing this time seeing the sea with him was sweet. She squatted, splashing the water with her hand, and suddenly asked,

“Why did you tell me not to visit you?”

“…Huh?”

“When you were in the military. I wrote you letters, but you replied like that.”

She’d also suddenly brought up old memories. She figured she might as well ask things she’d never had the chance to.

When he gave her his notebooks and went to the army, she wrote him a couple of letters. She never would have, but thinking back, his being stuck in the army gave her a little courage. The first letter was just formal thanks for the notebook and saying she was doing well. He replied just as formally.

After a few such exchanges, she finally added a cautious question: could she visit him? Ryu-il flatly refused. After that, she stopped writing.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Ryu-il asked incredulously.

“What kind of crazy guy asks a high school junior to come visit him in the army?”

She blinked, then burst out laughing. It wasn’t about drawing lines—it was just a completely reasonable answer.

Now that she’d said it, it was nothing, but not having asked had brought her this far. She giggled to herself for a long time.

“I did read your letters.”

Ryu-il kept his hands in his pockets, gazing at the distant waves. His hair danced in the sea breeze. She felt she could get lost just looking at him, but couldn’t look away.

“You always started with the weather at Ryu Gil-jae.”

“Oh, right. I learned somewhere that letters should start with the weather.”

There weren’t many letters, but they all started the same way. Spring came to Ryu Gil-jae, it’s so pretty; snow at Ryu Gil-jae is so atmospheric; the autumn leaves make Ryu Gil-jae so colorful these days…

“You said Ryu Gil-jae wasn’t your home, but you marveled at the people who made such a place.”

“Yes, that’s true. But I really meant it.”

She committed the sight of Ryu-il looking at the distance to memory. The blue sea and high sky far from Seoul, the sparsely populated beach, the faint smell of the ocean…

She promised herself she’d remember this as long as she’d remembered their childhood. Even as she grew old and her vision blurred, she’d keep this memory.

“I’ve never seen a place as beautiful as Ryu Gil-jae. It’s funny, but I feel lucky to have spent my childhood there. Even if I leave Ryu Gil-jae, I wonder if I’ll ever see a place as nice.”

“You wrote that in your letters too.”

She was amazed that he remembered such trivial things. She forced herself to look away and smiled. The waves swept past her feet.

“Huh?”

As she glanced around, she spotted something and her eyes widened.

“There’s a lighthouse! I’ve never been to one, can we go?”

Ryu-il nodded and led the way. She followed after him. The sunlight, fresh sea air, and long shadows on the sand were all wonderful.

Last night, crying with him felt like a distant lie. Not touching him now felt more natural for them, like when she’d followed him everywhere as a curious child. Old memories seemed to return like magic. They felt natural together now.

“I used to love the lighthouse keeper song.”

Up close, the lighthouse was rather shabby, but she spoke cheerfully.

“I still sing it alone sometimes.”

They climbed the plain lighthouse stairs together. She’d boldly suggested it, but there was little to see in the empty little lighthouse.

The glass, not cleaned for ages, made the sea look less impressive than with the n*ked eye. Still, she kept tiptoeing, hoping for something special.

“Maybe there’s a trace left by a lonely lighthouse keeper, like in the song lyrics.”

Finally, as she was looking around, she jumped up to see some faint writing on the ceiling.

“Come here.”

Ryu-il wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up. Her body pressed softly against his, her feet left the ground. With her view now close to the ceiling, she saw Ryu-il’s face below.

“Can you see now?”

From the moment she felt his solid warmth, her heart dropped in embarrassment. Considering all they’d done before, her reaction seemed almost silly. She tried her best not to show it, stumbling as she tried to read the faint writing on the ceiling.

“Ah…”

Disappointingly, the writing didn’t hold any great secret. It was just a playful message left by lovers: ‘Yuna♡Seoho Forever.’ She mumbled with a slightly deflated feeling,

“It’s nothing special.”

At the same time, her body slowly began to descend. Ryu-il was starting to lower her. Just as her feet were about to touch the ground,

She felt something between their pressed bodies. His lower half, swollen and full of heat, pressed embarrassingly against her. She was flustered, but Ryu-il looked indifferent. Instead, she was the one blushing and shifting awkwardly.

“Wh-what’s going on…?”

She stammered, and he replied in a calm, composed tone,

“You don’t know why?”

“…Actually, I do.”

“Why is it happening?”

“Because your blood vessels are dilated…”

At her answer, Ryu-il’s eyes curved slightly. His shoulders shook ever so faintly as he laughed, and that look stuck in her mind like a star. Their gazes locked. Without knowing who moved first, their breaths mingled.

“Mm…”

Unable to resist, she kissed him.

“…Mmm…”

She’d kissed him countless times, but never like this—outside, fully clothed, in a sudden, impulsive way. She initiated the kiss, but it was so immediate that it didn’t matter. The soft press of his tongue and the moist touch of his lips made her heart thump painfully.

“Haa…”

She kissed him deeply, her feet off the ground in his arms. Now, the wide sea in the distance and the peaceful gulls flying by faded away; the small, old lighthouse felt like the whole world. As their breaths mingled, they exchanged dazed glances again and again. Before thoughts could catch up, she kissed him again.

The kiss could have lasted forever, but it stopped when they heard people climbing the stairs. They separated quickly, as if caught doing something wrong. The elderly couple who entered the lighthouse smiled knowingly.

“Oh my, we interrupted the lovers’ time.”

“Don’t be so silly in front of young people.”

“I just meant they look good together…”

The friendly old couple bickered playfully but looked apologetic. The two of them smiled awkwardly and left the small lighthouse as if guilty. The stairs leading outside felt like a door to another world.

Only after stepping into the sea breeze did she come to her senses. Ryu-il walked a few steps ahead, then asked,

“Shall we get lunch?”

She nodded shyly again.

“…Yes.”

It felt like she was out with a childhood friend from the neighborhood. Ryu-il drove himself, looking relaxed and confident behind the wheel. She almost wished his car wasn’t so nice.

They ate Japanese food at a fancy restaurant overlooking the sea. Ryu-il was mostly quiet, but he casually pushed her favorite side dishes toward her.

It reminded her of something from long ago, when he felt like an older brother.

“I want to travel by car like elephants and giraffes. It’s suffocating being stuck at Ryu Gil-jae.”

“But only adults go on trips. When I’m an adult and can drive, I’ll take you.”

“Wow, really? Then I want to sit next to you!”

The clueless little Jung Hee-won inside her heart bounced with excitement.