How many refusals was this now?

Somehow feeling he understood the reason, Cassian smiled bitterly. For days now, a shadow had clung to Cassian like an afterimage that would not fade.

The sight of that affectionate pair. That night when it seemed as though only those two existed in the world.

“Your brother doesn’t seem to be visible today.”

“Lu? He said he had to write a reply to send to Father today. He’ll be at the Queen’s townhouse.”

When he brought up that shadow, she even corrected his form of address with a kind helpfulness. Something was plainly visible in the contrast between how she treated Cassian and how she treated the one she called her brother.

His stomach twisted in an instant. Cassian looked at her. The pale lavender dress, the same as that night, swayed in the warm breeze.

The fashion that had swept through the palace came naturally to occupy his mind. The nobles, each one keenly sensitive to trends, had made quite a noisy show of changing their clothes.

A remark came out naturally.

“It seems you haven’t bought a new dress.”

“Pardon?”

“I believe I’ve seen you in that outfit a few times.”

Her hand moved slightly and covered her red lips.

“Your Majesty really…… pays me a great deal of attention. You notice such fine details. I’m surprised.”

“It’s only natural to watch someone you hold in your heart.”

At the utterly direct expression, she let a slight smile show. The cheek that had been only pale seemed somehow to have flushed a little.

Then she smoothed her skirt. The fabric slid smoothly against the tips of her gloves.

“It’s a dress I love. Father chose it himself for my coming-of-age ceremony. I still feel his heart from that day when I wear it.”

For a dress worn at a coming-of-age ceremony, it did not look particularly expensive. Even so, it may have been the best a baron of Tristan could obtain.

The woman’s quiet words continued. Her voice, tinged with something dreamlike, was remarkably endearing.

“The gift Your Majesty gave me is far too much for me to wear about, and I prefer something like this. Suited to my station. But already…… I hear my name going back and forth on many people’s lips.”

Just as the fashion for bold primary colors had been called Rose de Marguerite, this new fashion for pastels was being called Belle Violette. It was a nickname easy to misunderstand at first hearing.

“I have no such ability. Somehow I find myself standing in the middle of Sehera’s imperial court.”

It was a voice full of displeasure, as though this did not align with her values. The eyes looking up at Cassian held a small grievance.

“Simply because Your Majesty desires me. I have already indicated my refusal any number of times.”

“……Yes.”

The man offered a straightforward affirmation to the woman’s complaint.

“I desire you.”

A force came and took hold of her gloved hand. She tried to pull away, but it held her and would not let go.

It was a subtle change in the man who had always yielded when she pushed him away, who had always followed when she pulled free. The woman recognized it immediately, and her small resistance dissolved into him.

“I wanted to learn about you and draw closer, little by little, calmly. But I find I cannot help growing more impatient with each passing day.”

“That……”

The woman who had been about to say something fell silent. The small hand caught fully in his grip only trembled.

“Belle.”

At that call, she averted her eyes from Cassian. Her head turned, and soft golden hair fell loose. The white line of her throat. The sight, so pitifully exposed, made his chest ache.

A small action, a quiet voice, everything his eyes took in right now. All of it was a trap ensnaring him. The most rapturous one in the world.

“Whatever you wish for, I will grant it. So please stand at my side.”

It was effectively coercion. The hand holding hers, as though to prove he would never let go, was proof of that.

The woman, who had understood all of it, blinked quietly and asked.

“Whatever…… you say?”

“Yes.”

“Then even if I asked you to k*ll someone, you would do it?”

Cassian fell silent for a moment. There was no clearer refusal than this. The methods were truly varied.

All the more reason he wanted to break her down.

“You did not forgive the Duke of Blumir.”

At the mention of the past, Cassian answered calmly.

“The Duke of Blumir and you are different. Different people, different matters.”

“But that’s not fair. This country you built, the one you dreamed of, isn’t like that.”

She spoke as though she knew well the ideals Cassian had established. It did not grate on him.

On the contrary, now as before, he felt that she understood Cassian Pendragon as a person remarkably well.

“But what if I acted for the benefit of my homeland? What if I willingly offered Sehera to Tristan for Tristan’s sake? What if I asked for a few of Sehera’s duchies as a wedding gift? What would Your Majesty do then?”

“……”

Laughably, it was a moment when two separate rational minds within Cassian clashed furiously.

His reason as Emperor held him back, but his reason as a man thought, what were a few duchies? Even if Sehera’s territory were cut in half.

“This isn’t a rational thing to say. But Cassian.”

The name caught on his tongue was unbearably sweet. He nearly wanted to nod without a thought and tell her to take all of it willingly.

“I’m simply saying something this absurd because I know my own station very well.”

Having spent a lifetime watching those consumed by greed, encountering someone who spoke of knowing her own station left him bewildered. It would have been far better for him if she were a little greedier.

If he gave her what she wanted, she would have willingly come into his arms.

“I’m still not certain. I don’t want to swear my first and last eternity before the God I serve with a heart like this.”

“……Belle, you.”

Cassian murmured as plaintively as he could manage.

“You lifted the cross I was carrying.”

“Pardon?”

“You drew the nails from my palms and took the crown of thorns from my head. And so.”

He did not want to let go of the hand he held.

“No matter how many times you refuse and say you will not.”

He did not want to lose her either.

“I cannot let go.”

Not ever again.

“That is too cruel a thing to ask of me.”

“……You were the one who said you would be patient and make an effort. But when you say this, I……”

She paused, seeming to recall something from a few days ago. She lifted her head sharply.

He wanted to stop breathing for a moment at the sight of her caught in the night.

“Is this because of Lu?”

Lu. Not brother, but the intimate name. The hand gripping her small hand tightened. The somewhat roughened fingertips spoke of his twisted heart.

“As the Queen said, Lu and I are close without formality, but only up to a point…… we’re family.”

With each word she continued, only a savage impulse shook him. He was going mad. He did not even want to hear that name.

He pulled her toward him without warning. He drew her into his arms so she could not escape.

At the sudden movement, the woman struggled within Cassian’s arms. He ignored her thrashing and held her down.

Even pressed forcibly against him, she seemed to exist somewhere impossibly far away. Like grains of sand, she seemed as though she might slip through his fingers at any moment.

Perhaps because of that, the past he thought he had bid farewell to seized Cassian without warning.

The person who could not become Cassian Pendragon’s. The person who nonetheless had to be his.

The person who could not remain Cassian Pendragon’s even in death. The person who nonetheless had to remain his.

The shadow of that time slowly consumed Cassian. Only one thing remained unswallowed by the shadow of the past. The clear floral scent drifting from the woman before him struck his nose with dizzying force. Lavender, was it.

A scent said to have a calming effect, and yet his reason felt more paralyzed for it. The monster in his chest, which he had always thought he controlled well, threw an ugly tantrum.

“Let go, please let go.”

Only then did a faint, frail protest reach his ears. The hand holding her tightened further, ignoring the resistance.

“Your Majesty. Please……”

“You said family. You said brother.”

“This is because of Lu…… I was right.”

This was the abyss a man revealed. Hard body and soft body pressed together without gap. The temperature passing between them was unfamiliar. The difference between the living and the dead was clear.

A somewhat rough touch, ill-suited to his gentle appearance, bound her waist firmly. Fingers climbing slowly along the curve of her body.