Chapter 4 – Cheap Romance (Part 2)

The child was found in an unexpected place, having walked quite a distance on his short legs. Chan-hoo, who was running around next to some graffiti left under the Han River Bridge, ran up to Soo-yeon and said,

“It’s an orca, the predator of the sea. Orcas harm all creatures but not humans.”

“Chan-hoo!”

Soo-yeon’s mother ran over and hugged Chan-hoo. Chan-hoo’s father, who had been standing there blankly holding the backpack and the child’s tracking bracelet, also ran over and hugged his hat. Soo-yeon felt like a complete outsider in the tearful family reunion scene. She did not feel sad about it. There was someone else she was looking for.

As she looked around, Soo-yeon spotted a man getting out of the back seat of a black sedan. The moment her eyes met Hee-tae’s, who was standing under the orange light, Soo-yeon’s feet moved on their own. She ran towards Hee-tae and hugged his waist. He was like an orca, someone who harmed everyone but her.

“Ah… I must have been the one who lost the child.”

Hee-tae sighed lowly as he faced Soo-yeon, who was in his arms. His sigh carried an undeniable sense of relief. From the moment Soo-yeon ran towards him as if possessed, all the resentment from the long absence melted away like snow. Even the urge to question why it was so hard for her to come to him when she had said all sorts of things to him vanished. Holding Soo-yeon, he spoke as if letting out a deep breath.

“I was grinding my teeth, ready to ask whose child it was, whether you had secretly given birth and raised a child. But seeing you like this, I can’t say a word.”

“……”

“You have a way of making a fool out of people.”

Soo-yeon couldn’t say a word as she felt his hand gently cradle the back of her head. Hee-tae was just as speechless. She had run to him as if possessed, but she couldn’t explain this foolish and awkward situation. All she could do was hurriedly blurt out what she felt she needed to explain.

“……He’s not my child. He’s my biological mother’s son.”

“I figured. I ran over thinking the kid didn’t look anything like you, so I wanted to see the dad’s face, but luckily he wasn’t here.”

Hee-tae responded to her words with a lighthearted joke. Today, his mischievous words felt different to Soo-yeon. Nothing had changed from before, but his embrace was warm. It felt considerate of him not to ask why she was so desperate to find a child that wasn’t hers. He probably already understood the situation from what he saw, given how perceptive he was. Knowing Soo-yeon didn’t want to explain further, he cleverly changed the subject.

“Enough about the child. I have something to say to you, Chae Soo-yeon.”

“…Go ahead.”

“I missed you ridiculously while we couldn’t see each other.”

Hee-tae said with a hearty laugh. Soo-yeon, who had been caught up with a foolish man and had stepped into the realm of gangsters. Soo-yeon, who had appeared suddenly at an official event, looking stiff and flustered. Soo-yeon, who had glared at him during a blind date with a face that looked like it was about to crumble. Soo-yeon, who had held back tears as she walked into the exhibition hall. Soo-yeon, who had painted on his back, pouring her passion into the early dawn. He missed all those faces. Living like a beast who only knew how to thrust and fight, Hee-tae learned to wait through his longing for her.

“……Jang Hee-tae.”

Soo-yeon pulled away from his embrace and spoke in a faint voice. She wanted to talk about the emotions pouring down like a torrential rain, ignoring the unresolved issues from that day. But she knew that ignoring the problem for a moment of sweetness would make it return someday. Soo-yeon started the conversation by going back to the tangled knot in their relationship.

“What I wanted to say to you that day… it wasn’t that.”

Only after reuniting with Hee-tae did Soo-yeon finally speak about that day. Both then and now were embarrassing situations. Back then, Min-jun was sprawled on the floor, and today, she shamelessly asked him to find her half-brother. Nothing had changed, but Soo-yeon mustered the courage to reveal her inner thoughts.

“But nothing has changed since we first met at the golf course… I’m still so pathetic. Even now, I’m shamelessly asking you to find my mother’s son.”

“…Soo-yeon.”

“Honestly, I didn’t want to show you these family issues, but I just can’t seem to hide anything from you. Earlier, you were the only one I could think of. I didn’t know any other way…”

Soo-yeon had always been honest with Hee-tae, exploding in anger whenever he guessed her inner thoughts. Now, she seemed to understand why he did that. He was curious about her. He was so curious about her inner thoughts that he enjoyed tormenting her, but he was ultimately wrapped up in her soft heart and ended up here. Soo-yeon could finally tell Hee-tae the inner thoughts he had been so curious about.

“Everything I said that day was true. I grew up like a flower in a greenhouse, and you are someone completely different from me. But I didn’t want to hurt you with those words.”

“…….”

“That day, I just… I went because I missed you.”

Soo-yeon confessed the feelings she couldn’t even be honest with herself about, with a sigh. Before making excuses, she went to see him for one reason. Because she missed him. She realized that she had been aware of him the moment he disappeared from her side.

Even while painting a pine tree on his back, she didn’t want to admit those feelings, but she eventually did. However, she couldn’t muster the courage to start another tumultuous relationship and ran away, only to end up back with him. She contacted him as if pushed by the situation, but she felt that she would have called him one late night anyway.

“Chae Soo-yeon, why do you seem so mature today?”

Hee-tae found Soo-yeon’s honesty unfamiliar. He regretted the words he had said to turn her inside out. Waiting for her, those words became daggers that pierced him. For the first time, Hee-tae, who was used to hitting people with words or fists, felt the dagger he had planted in someone else return to him. At the same time, Soo-yeon was bothered by the words she had said to him, hoping he would come to see her at least once for such trivial reasons. She wanted him to show her that he was doing well, even if he didn’t choose her. But Soo-yeon, who hadn’t been doing well at all, revealed her soft heart.

“I always wanted to live like an adult, but I couldn’t do that in front of you.”

“…”

“I tried to hold back my anger, knowing that if I said something bad, I would want to apologize. But I couldn’t do that with you.”

“…”

“I think I wanted to see you under the pretext of apologizing for saying bad things.”

As she became an adult and a public figure, Soo-yeon lived by hiding her inner thoughts. Even if she wasn’t okay, she pretended to be okay. Because of that, her inner self didn’t grow, and she became someone who would have fierce arguments with Hee-tae. Knowing that she would want to see someone to apologize after a fight, she didn’t fight with anyone. She always formed relationships in such a cowardly way.

“Hee-tae, you saw me clearly. I can give, but I’m stingy about receiving.”

Soo-yeon had always formed defensive relationships. Receiving anything felt like a debt, so she returned it like repaying a debt. In that aspect, she might have been more calculating than a loan shark like him. She could give generously, but receiving was too awkward for her. Externally, she was the proud daughter of President Chae and a beloved artist in Korea, but inside, she was different. She was the product of a strategic marriage, a person who became known by drawing every day. She was an ordinary person who didn’t receive stable affection from her parents and was stingy about receiving love because of that.

“But that day… It wasn’t that I didn’t want to accept your feelings. I was just at my lowest then. If you had seen that…”

Soo-yeon couldn’t finish her sentence. She couldn’t bear the thought of Hee-tae seeing her ex-boyfriend, who borrowed money because of her. She couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing that and feeling pity for her. Hee-tae pulled her into his embrace as she tried to force out the words.

“I know. I understand now.”

“You do?”

“Back then, it sounded like you were telling me not to invade your life. It hurt so much that I just said nonsense.”

Hee-tae hugged Soo-yeon tightly, burying his head in her neck. It was the first time he used a soft word like “hurt.” But there was no other way to explain it. Seeing them still acting like there were lingering feelings between them over those five long years of dating made his head boil with jealousy.

For the first time, Soo-yeon felt that the Hee-tae, who had always seemed like a beast charging at her, now seemed like the younger man he had always claimed to be.