10. Lost Salvation

Blink. Brown eyelids appeared and disappeared.

Under tremendously long eyelashes, eyes the size of baby fists stared at the person standing before them. Despite expressing through slightly flared nostrils and anxiously stamping hooves that things were quite different from usual, the other party appeared calm.

“Brill, why do you look so displeased? Want to go out?”

Swoosh. Brill shook his mane irritably. The human woman who had been stroking his cheek stepped back one step and disappeared somewhere. Yes, at least you have some sense, that’s a relief……”

Or not. The woman with bob-length hair that barely brushed her shoulders held a carrot in her hand.

Brill didn’t hide his contemptuous look. You stupid human woman, haven’t you noticed that the master is different from usual today? Wearing strange clothes he doesn’t usually wear, wearing strange shoes, and leaving you alone in the stable for so long. Normally, he should have come looking for you by now.

“Brill, is this not enough? I’m sorry. Just wait about half a year, and I’ll ride you myself. Shall we be satisfied with a walk today? I wonder if the doctor will allow it.”

Stupid human, Brill thought inwardly as he crunched on the carrot. A bland earthy taste spread in his mouth.

The stupid human woman appeared on a day in mid-winter.

That day, Brill was carrying his master on his back, roaming quite a wide area. A bearded human man who earned the title of neighbor simply because he lived closest to their house called out to them.

‘Doctor Caleb! We see you often these days. Do you need anything?’

‘The weather is too bad. There might be people who have lost their way.’

‘Kind sir, I don’t know who would come to this countryside, but if anyone is fortunate enough to be found by you, doctor, it would be tremendous luck. May God’s grace be with you.’

After exchanging greetings with the man and trudging through the deep snow, Brill inwardly cursed. Master, you might be comfortable riding on my back, but what sin have I committed to be stepping through this snow? What will you do if I happen to fall ill?

However, Brill never fell ill. Because the master’s strange outings ended that day.

Celian— the master called the lost person who appeared that day by that name. Brill, who had lived long with humans, noticed that this was the human woman’s name.

The woman, smaller than his master, had dull brown hair. With so many pretty brown colors in the world like Brill’s coat, it was pitiful that she was born with such an unsightly brown.

Meanwhile her eyes resembled the sky, and though he felt sorry for the woman, he thought they terribly mismatched her hair color. If there were a mare with such coat and eye colors, she might be cast out from the herd. The reason was simple. Because she was ugly.

The stupid human woman didn’t have the ability to read Brill’s thoughts. Despite Brill’s obvious display of displeasure, the human woman clung to Brill from the very next day after she appeared.

At first, it was somewhat annoying. For Brill, who was used to his master’s low voice, the human woman’s high pitch was as noisy as a magpie’s call.

His master also started talking more in turn. It was the worst environment for Brill, who loved quietness.

‘Celian, what’s all that?’

‘I made some raspberry jam. I’d like to sell it at the market, could you help me?’

‘Why make such things, I told you you don’t need to do anything.’

‘But I enjoyed the sweet smell.’

Raspberry jam sounds delicious, I like sweet things too…… While listening to their conversation and just licking his lips, Brill changed his strategy. It was the result of following his animal instinct that targeting this human woman rather than his strict master would make his horse life easier.

His judgment was quite right. After letting her blink at him a few times and allowing her to touch his mane whenever she came to the stable, before long, the human woman appeared with hands full of sugar cubes. Something the master would never give unless there was a need to go to the market.

From that day on, Brill withdrew his evaluation of this human woman.

This human woman is pretty.

Perhaps because he decided to look at her favorably, everything that hadn’t sat well with him started looking pretty. It seemed his changed evaluation was partly due to her hair that had grown about a hand span, matching her eyes. Humans must change their hair like clothes, that was Brill’s conclusion.

Moreover, the human woman recently cut off her unsightly colored hair.

While listening to the conversation between the human woman saying she would cut it as short as his master’s, and the dignified master saying that was absolutely not allowed, Brill supported the master for the first time in a while.

Fortunately, her hair survived around her nape after the master’s nagging. Though a strange yellow light remained where the ugly brown dye had faded, it didn’t feel too out of place because of her naturally light hair color.

Anyway, such a human with no aesthetic sense whatsoever.

And she’s even oblivious. How did the master end up picking up such a lacking human? The human who looked like the master that he saw long ago was quite lacking too, but somehow this human woman seems to take it a step further, causing mountains of worry.

A child born from a lacking human would surely be lacking too, it’s fortunate they at least have me…… Brill followed Celian out of the stable, pretending to give in. 

* * *

 Doctor Caleb’s ranch was in the middle of a desolate field. Thanks to this, encounters with others were extremely rare. The doctor told the few neighbors that Celian was his distant relative.

Celian held Brill’s reins and walked slowly. The horse that had been throwing a tantrum about something in the stable became docile as soon as they came outside. Though the slow walking pace should have been unsatisfying, he followed her without urging to go faster.

“Brill, the weather is wonderful. Even though all we can see is grass and sky, I can feel that it’s spring.”

“Neigh.”

“Yes, you think so too. I’m sorry you have to see this beautiful scenery alone. The baby won’t be born until autumn, you see.”

“Neiiigh……”

“But autumn will be pretty too. Right, Brill? How is autumn in this neighborhood?”

Neiiiigh, was the horse’s answer positive? Celian, walking with a smiling face, pushed down her hat and lifted her head.

It had been about four months since she came here. During that time, she had noticed her pregnancy and honestly confessed it to Doctor Caleb. That it was Izer’s child, but she didn’t want to let him know.

Doctor Caleb just looked at her quietly and said one thing.

‘You should stop dyeing your hair.’

The day she learned that hair dye was like deadly poison to the fetus, she cried all night.

Fortunately, the baby was fine. Thanks to Doctor Caleb being familiar with caring for expectant mothers, she learned one by one about what actions were dangerous to pregnant women. Horse riding was included among them.

Celian placed her hand on her belly hidden by the apron. The baby was still quiet.

‘Perhaps it’s still too early to feel movement. Since I can’t know exactly when the child was conceived……’

When she thought about the child, her heart felt full.

She worried about the child’s appearance. Whether it resembled her or him, it would be a face that couldn’t help but stand out. Moving to another country after giving birth and when the baby was old enough to run around would be the only answer.

Though realistically it wasn’t an easy thing, Celian pushed her worries aside. The child had already endured many hardships following its mother through the winter. When there weren’t enough good thoughts to share, worries were absolutely unacceptable.

She thought positively, but quite realistically. After a few years, she might be able to write a letter to the ‘future’ Marquis Berienne.

James III gave General Berienne’s daughter generous compensation for the dishonor that had been cast on him. To Doctor Caleb’s words that Duke Chesterfield was behind James III’s decision, Celian had only responded with a light smile.

It was enough that he was doing well. As Celian was about to continue her halted steps, she turned her head toward Brill. The horse that had been following her obediently stood rooted to the spot.

“Brill?”

He showed no sign of moving even when she pulled the reins slightly. Celian urged the horse.

“Brill, let’s go. It’s almost time for lunch.”

Neiiigh.

“Brill, I’m hungry. The baby said it’s hungry too. We need to go prepare lunch now.”

Ah, she sensed someone’s presence just then. While struggling to pull the reins, Celian continued speaking.

“Doctor, you’ve come at a good time. I think Brill is upset about something again. If you could watch him for a moment, I’ll go get a carrot or……”

“—lian.”

“……”