Chapter 25

“So, is she dating the person she likes?”

“What nonsense. Absolutely not. She’ll never date him. She shouldn’t, and she won’t!”

Derkan suppressed the urge to click his tongue and coughed. Lucien seemed to be under the impression that Serenia liked someone else, but it was strange how he got so fired up about it while insisting they were just friends. It was as if he was obsessively convinced that his feelings couldn’t possibly be love or affection.

“Then what’s the problem? You’re not stealing someone’s lover, so is there any reason you can’t be Serenia’s lover instead of just her friend?”

“That’s…!”

Lucien’s lips moved silently. He seemed ready to shout something, but his eyes widened and he couldn’t continue. Derkan patiently waited for Lucien, who appeared to realize the contradiction in his own words as his face flushed and paled by turns. Waiting calmly for Lucien’s confusion to settle, Derkan sighed and stood up.

“It’s complicated to reach a conclusion right away, but really think about it.”

“……”

Lucien, still crouched, looked up at Derkan, who had already stood. With that lost expression, he looked much younger.

Finally, Derkan couldn’t resist and gently ruffled Lucien’s hair. First loves always bring heartache, so he understood, but he hoped their difficult times would be a little shorter—because Derkan genuinely liked both of them.

“To be honest, being lovers sounds grand, but it’s simple. It’s just about liking someone. You enjoy being together, you want to always be with them.”

“Is that why you got married?”

“Already thinking that far ahead? Haha. Yes. I married my wife because I never wanted to part, because I wanted to be with her until I died.”

Lucien, who hadn’t even confessed yet, was asking about marriage, and Derkan joked that he’d soon be looking for a tutor for his future children. Lucien, embarrassed, roughly shoved Derkan’s hand away, his face turning red.

“Wow, I get to see the commander embarrassed. Truly, the world is full of surprises.”

“Quiet.”

Lucien jumped up, told Derkan to get back to work, and left with a sulky face. Every hurried step showed his inner turmoil, and Derkan watched his figure until it disappeared.

“Our commander is certainly decisive…”

He could only hope that decisiveness would finally be used in the right direction. Hoping both of them would look deeper into their hearts, Derkan hurried off to focus on his own investigation.

* * *

No matter how well Serenia tried to cover it up, the longer Lucien avoided her, the more she noticed. She realized Lucien was deliberately keeping his distance.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Last time, at least Serenia had a clear reason—she broke their promise first without explaining. But this time, she couldn’t figure out the cause, which made things worse. The one who cares more is always at a disadvantage, and Serenia’s heart began to shrink and falter.

Serenia had come here solely for Lucien. Of course, everyone at headquarters was kind to her, and she liked her work, but when Lucien started avoiding her, she couldn’t help feeling a hollow emptiness inside.

She was a little angry, but mostly she was sad and disappointed. If Lucien had acted coldly like before, she could have closed her heart and given up. But when they did meet, he was just as kind as ever, making Serenia even more troubled.

“What time is it already…”

Naturally, they saw each other less, and spent fewer nights together. Serenia realized how scary it was to get used to someone’s warmth. She hadn’t noticed when Lucien was always clinging to her, but now that he was suddenly gone, her bed felt unusually large. Ironically, she used to sleep alone all the time.

That night, Serenia volunteered for overtime she didn’t need, guarding the office, and sighed as she looked at the clock. Even the late sunset had sunk below the horizon, and stars were beginning to appear. Headquarters was close to her lodging, so the commute wasn’t a problem, but it hurt that she couldn’t go home with Lucien again.

Turning off the office lights, Serenia started to leave, then turned back.

“Maybe I’ll wait a little longer?”

She sat at Lucien’s empty desk, swept her hand over the surface, then folded her arms and lay down. She felt as if, if she didn’t meet him now, they would drift apart forever.

If it was going to be like this, she shouldn’t have reached out again. She’d spent years trying not to see him, trying to forget him, and now even that was impossible.

With a small, resentful sigh, Serenia glared at Lucien’s commissioning ceremony photo on the desk, tapping the young Lucien’s face in the picture with her fingertip. As she reminisced, her eyelids grew heavy, and the moonlight behind her gently coaxed her toward sleep.

“Tonight, I have to see him…”

Eventually, Serenia fell asleep clutching Lucien’s photo frame.

Not long after she drifted off, hurried footsteps approached the office.

“Where could she be…”

Lucien, sweating from running, burst into the office and stopped dead. It was long past quitting time, and he’d been searching all over headquarters after hearing she hadn’t returned to her lodging. He’d come to the office last, since the lights were off, but there was Serenia, peacefully asleep at his desk.

“She’s such a workaholic. Why is she working overtime at this hour?”

Even as he grumbled, Lucien lowered his voice so as not to wake her, and quietly approached. He wondered why she was at his desk, not hers, but saw she’d been looking at his photo.

The picture didn’t mean much to Lucien anymore, but Serenia was holding it tightly. For some reason, his chest tightened, and Lucien gazed at her hand for a long time.

He knew Serenia was waiting for him. He just didn’t know what to say if she asked why he was avoiding her, so even though he knew she was hurt, he couldn’t bring himself to approach.

You appear in my dreams.

You confess to me in my dreams.

When you confess, I’m so happy I can’t control myself.

He couldn’t bring himself to say any of it. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship by revealing feelings he couldn’t even understand.

“This relationship…”

He could almost hear Derkan’s voice asking if there was any reason they couldn’t be lovers instead of friends.

Lucien sat on the desk, gazing at Serenia’s sleeping face. Moonlight poured in from the window, sliding down her nose. As he gently stroked her hair, Serenia smiled and nuzzled into his touch, even in her sleep. Her cute, affectionate gesture brought a smile to Lucien’s lips.