VOLUME 1

Part 1

“Ah…….”

The doctor looking at the ultrasound frowned.

No, no, no. Please don’t.

Lying on the examination table, Seowoo squeezed her eyes shut. Her balled fists shook with nervousness.

“It’s a miscarriage.”

Her fervent hopes were dashed by the unfavorable premonition.

A piercing beep echoed in her ears. The doctor’s words felt like a death sentence.

“One fortunate thing is that it seems to be a natural miscarriage, so there won’t be a need for a separate surgical procedure. It might be a bit better for your body than undergoing surgery artificially.”

Fortunate… Is this what counts as fortunate?

The doctor offered reassurance that a natural miscarriage might be slightly better than surgery for the next pregnancy.

Seowoo, who had seen enough of the crimson blood-soaked even her pants earlier in the morning, fell into contemplation.

It had been a week since the ultrasound confirmed her pregnancy.

According to the original schedule, she should have been coming today to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, but she ended up at the hospital due to this unexpected turn of events.

“It’s your second miscarriage… but it’s a bit vague to call it a recurrent miscarriage. Still, if you have plans for another pregnancy, you should be prepared…….”

“…”

“Patient Yoon Seowoo?”

The doctor called out to her as if nudging her out of her daze.

“Do you need to make an appointment for your follow-up…….”

“Uh, no. I’m fine.”

“Well, I’ll prescribe you some anti-inflammatories and antibiotics for now, so take them, and I’ll see you at your next appointment.”

Eventually, I miscarried again.

Her hope quickly turned to despair. The nurse busied herself with tending to Seowoo.

‘Please, save me. Please, I beg you.’

She recalled herself clinging to the nurse, wailing, after losing her first child.

Now she understood. That it was all futile.

She had hoped the second time might be a bit better, but she was so wrong.

The efforts to erase the ominous feelings, the past week seemed like a distant dream.

She hoped for the safety of the child. She had believed that if she prayed fervently enough, her wish would reach Him…

“Ha.”

Tears finally streamed down her strained eyes. Seowoo had to remain motionless there for a long time, unable even to muster the strength to wipe the tears flowing down her cheeks.

***

“Miss Seowoo.”

The sudden voice brought her eyes back into focus.

After leaving the doctor’s office, she sat in a chair in the waiting room, dazed. She wanted to rest due to the excruciating pain in her lower back, but going home felt no different from hell to her. 

Seowoo slowly got up from her seat and replied.

“I’ll go somewhere for a bit.”

“Your mother-in-law called.”

Myeong-hye, her mother-in-law, had been keeping track of Seowoo’s every move through her secretary. She probably knew everything about today’s visit to the hospital. 

Just like she knew about the doctor’s appointment a week ago.

After all, Myeong-hye’s acquaintance was the director of the women’s hospital, she should have already heard the news by now.

Still, she didn’t say a word, which meant she was waiting for Seowoo to speak.

That fact suffocated Seowoo.

“Just tell her I went out after the appointment.”

“But…”

“I’ll make sure to go home. Please, don’t worry, Secretary Kim.”

Secretary Kim would be reprimanded if he said she lost Seowoo, but Seowoo couldn’t afford to worry about him right now.

After all, he was Myeong-hye’s person, too, and Seowoo wanted to be out of her sight, even if only for a moment.

“I’m sorry.”

As if unable to comply with her words, Heejae lowered his head.

Seowoo, who had been quietly observing Secretary Kim, pulled at the corners of her mouth and spoke softly.

“Secretary Kim.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I had a miscarriage today.”

At Seowoo’s confession, Heejae’s broad shoulders twitched. He’d accompanied her everywhere she went, but he hadn’t been able to follow her into the doctor’s office, so he didn’t know the full story.

He was too flustered to say anything after hearing about the miscarriage directly from her.

“So that’s it. I wanted to be alone for a while.”

Heejae looked awkward at Seowoo’s pleading voice.

At first glance, Seowoo smiled, but the corners of her eyes quickly turned red. However, Heejae was also in a position where he had to follow orders, so he couldn’t listen to her request.

“You seem to be going through a tough time.”

Seowoo laughed bitterly at his lack of response. Seeing him embarrassed because of her, she couldn’t cry anymore.

What fault did he have?

In the end, Seowoo adjusted her bag and let out a small sigh.

“I’m sorry for causing trouble.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Let’s go home quickly.”

Passing by him, who was still bowing his head, Seowoo took the first step.

With every step she took, she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen.

***

“What’s wrong?”

As soon as she arrived, she went straight into Myeong-hye’s room. Myeong-hye was sitting elegantly on the bed reading a book. Seowoo knelt in front of her on a cushion.

Not knowing where to begin, Seowoo pursed her lips and took a breath.

“Are you not going to say anything?”

Thud.

The sound of the book closing echoed in the room.

Unable to wait any longer, Myeong-hye closed the book and removed her reading glasses, putting them down in front of her. Seowoo clenched her fists at the somewhat bitter tone.

“I’m sorry.”

What did I do wrong, exactly? I didn’t do it on purpose.

Seowoo, more than anyone else, wanted to be pregnant.

Today, her heart felt even heavier with sorrow.

“What are you sorry for? How am I supposed to understand if you just say that without any explanation?”

Though Myeong-hye knew everything, she pretended not to. It was a silent threat, demanding Seowoo to speak up for herself.

The last chance Myeong-hye gave had been wasted in such a futile manner.

Seowoo struggled to keep herself composed, fearing tears would well up at the slightest touch.

“I had a miscarriage.”

“……miscarriage? When did you get pregnant?”

“I confirmed it a week ago… but I ended up having a miscarriage.”

There was a moment of silence. Seowoo never thought she’d say she had another miscarriage…….

On the other hand, she felt a little bit of relief.

This was her chance to end this whole situation.

Seowoo chewed on her inner cheek, waiting for Myeong-hye’s decision.

“What others do so easily…….”

Tsk tsk.

Myeong-hye sighed and clicked her tongue. After a moment of silence, she spoke again.

“I’ll give you a week.”

“…….”

“Pack your things and leave this house.”

In the end, it was divorce.

It was both funny and sad that the decision about the divorce lay with the mother-in-law rather than the couple themselves.

One week.

In five days, her husband, Jiwook, would be leaving for the United States on an overseas assignment.

If I hadn’t lost the baby, could I have stayed with him?

The thought of leaving the house had always been on her mind, but now that it was actually happening, everything seems blurry.

“It’s truly regrettable that it turned out like this.”

Regret.

It was a voice that didn’t convey any regret at all. Tears fell onto Seowoo’s clenched fists.

“It’s better not to tell Jiwook anything since you’re getting divorced anyway. Don’t bother him while he’s working.”

“…Yes.”

“Go on, then.”

Seowoo slowly got up and bowed, bending her waist. She had to steady herself as her vision was dizzy. When she finally made it out of the doorway, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes for a moment.