PAGE 9. Carol

“Well, island people don’t cross the sea before their twentieth birthday. They say it’s unlucky for life.”

“Unlucky?”

The gaze looking down at the winter sea was strangely excited. When her narrow shoulders twisted slightly, her round nose bridge and flushed cheeks turned toward Lucio.

The girl who had jumped onto the passenger ship bound for Delling just before departure, which Lucio had boarded, replied with a cynical laugh.

“Grandfather passed away, and the two who were my friends deceived me for months, so how could it get more unlucky than this?”

At the sharp criticism, the guilty party silently bowed his head.

Though he had confessed unable to bear the guilt, wrong was still wrong. Especially knowing how much Asha relied on letters that came once every two weeks or once a month.

Asha snorted at the restless gaze of her former friend and added.

“And don’t talk to me like before. Did you think I’d easily forgive you just because you confessed?”

“That’s, no, but……”

“You told me because it seemed like things with Rosette would end anyway.”

If he had continued his relationship with Rosette, no matter how heavy his guilt, he wouldn’t have suddenly spilled everything like this.

At least if he had consulted with Rosette.

“You just wanted to ease your conscience since it was a relationship that wouldn’t work out anyway.”

“That’s, Asha……”

“So, should I thank you?”

The blue-green eyes, deeper than the rolling waves, turned back toward the deck. At the gesture firmly refusing conversation, Lucio hesitated briefly before returning to the cabin.

Her hair tied long fluttered along with the white ribbon.

Though she had lived looking at the sea for over ten years, this was her first time going beyond it. Because of the belief prevalent in Iota.

Even Aila, who had been doing her share since before becoming an adult, only boarded a ship to the mainland after passing her twentieth birthday.

‘What? Where are you going?’

‘Kasoche.’

‘Where exactly is that?’

‘At the very end of the kingdom. Anyway, it exists.’

‘You’re going there alone? Now?’

‘You told me to think about what I’d do.’

At the sudden notification, Aila frowned once then nodded. The tone saying ‘It’s your life’ had contemplation and resignation ambiguously mixed.

If it had been grandfather, he would have strongly opposed even after her twentieth birthday. He would have worried about everything, and at the very least would have packed together saying he’d accompany her to Delling.

But grandfather was no longer there.

The old man who made weaving nets his pastime, who had survived several times with his bare body in rough waves, was gone.

Gone.

“Grandfather……”

The voice close to crying scattered faintly.

Though it was weather that wasn’t even winter compared to the north, Asha felt a cold like pain.

It was cold.

Though she had hastily put on outerwear and a shawl, the wind brushing her earlobes was numbing. Her blue-green eyelashes fluttered a couple times, and the moisture that had welled up cleared a little.

“Carol.”

When she spat out the name she had been chewing in her mouth, a subtle warmth circulated in her body. Asha straightened her waist that had been leaning against the railing and moved her mouth again.

“Cas.”

That kid hadn’t intentionally stopped writing letters. While obediently reading through complaints and pleas he hadn’t caused, he had struggled to somehow reach Asha.

Even if that action of endlessly, endlessly writing letters couldn’t become a rational solution.

Asha, facing the cold wind, thought of the letters she hadn’t received, the person who had left her, and the person she had left behind.

Aila who had been bewildered and Rosette who had looked flustered.

“Rosette.”

The prettiest thing among what her greedy sister had left behind. The most precious thing.

‘If you became friends with me easily, then you would have gotten bored like with that puzzle. You wouldn’t have been more curious about me.’

It was a confession unbelievable to have come from the most popular girl on the island, who had seemed cheerful without a care.

Asha, who recognized that she herself had neurotic tendencies, stopped trying to understand the feelings of her former friend again.

No matter how many times she reviewed it, no matter where she traced back from, the conclusion was the same. As long as Asha was herself, it was an emotion she’d never understand.

She had coveted Rosette’s brilliance. Very briefly, but she had truly coveted it. Asha recalled the dazzling purple hair, even teeth, and peach-colored lips.

The hand extended freshly, the vocabulary that strangely kept distance, the healthy shoulder blades soaked in seawater……

“It’s okay.”

Now, it didn’t matter either way.

The important thing, what she wanted to do, what she had to do was one thing. Until reaching the coldest place in the kingdom, the girl who had embarked on her first journey decided to hold only that one thing.

※※※

“Oh my, are you alright?”

“I’m, fine. Thank you.”

“You still look young, what brings you all the way to the capital?”

“I’m going to meet a friend.”

Asha awkwardly pulled up the corners of her mouth and accepted the water offered by a stranger. Riding a carriage for the first time in her life was more arduous and exhausting than anything she’d read in books.

Either sleeping as if she’d fainted, or actually fainting.

The longer the journey went on, the more haggard her complexion became, enough to evoke sympathy even from complete strangers.

Asha, clutching a small suitcase like it was part of her body, pressed her lips tightly together and leaned her head against the carriage window.

Between cities, there were still many unimproved roads. Each time, her lower lip was completely chapped from forcibly enduring the churning in her stomach.

Though she had boldly run to the dock, the process was far from romantic.

A body that had been weak since birth wouldn’t suddenly improve just because it had experienced dramatic events like ‘grandfather’s death’ and ‘friend’s lies.’

Such refreshing growth was only possible in adventure novels.

Asha, who had retied her loosened hair, blinked slowly. To go to Kasoche, to the north, you absolutely had to pass through the capital.

Asha hadn’t known this fact until she got off the passenger ship.

Because she hadn’t had time to research and plan carefully. Grandfather had passed away, Carol hadn’t betrayed her, and even if that betrayal had been true……

Because she missed that kid.

‘Hey, you, Asha!’

‘I told you not to talk to me.’

‘No, sorry, I’m sorry! Where are you going? Do you know how to get there?’

Right, it was a bit embarrassing, but until Lucio shouted like that, she hadn’t thought of any plan.

Her realistic, even somewhat cynical thought process hadn’t worked properly in that moment. A journey with ‘why’ remaining but ‘how’ missing couldn’t be easy.

Fortunately, Lucio’s father, the optician Magnum, had told her where the stagecoaches stopped and how to get to the north.

It was just as reckless an act.

“You’re like my daughter, so I can’t feel at ease…… This is your first time here, isn’t it?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.”

She fainted countless more times without knowing she was fainting, endured throbbing pain, and survived the stagecoach.

The capital where the king and prime minister resided was incomparably vast compared to Iota, but there was no time to admire everything.

“All the way to that distant place, how old are you? Your parents?”

“I have debts to settle.”

Occasionally there were people who found her suspicious due to her appearance that was younger than her age, but she dealt with them appropriately each time.

Lying to people she was seeing for the first time, people she’d never see again, was easy.

To care for a sick relative, to meet a newborn nephew, to pay debts, to collect debts…… Asha, who moved while giving appropriate responses whenever asked, fastened her hastily bought winter coat and looked outside.

When she rubbed the frozen white window with her finger, it became a little transparent.