Deep Boredom - Part 4

The terrace unfolded before her in a slightly blurred view. The sight of the man smoking while wearing a robe alone had a calming effect.

She had quickly realized that the afterglow of their relationship was diminishing, but the misery of it struck her anew every time. Mixing their bodies together every day, Rasha still felt excitement and anticipation every night she spent with Chedev. But now, it was difficult to find that same excitement and tremor in him. S*x had become a tool of pleasure tainted with indifference for him, devoid of any other meaning.

Rasha lifted the blanket and examined the disheveled space between her legs.

There was more than enough seminal fl*id spilled inside, overflowing beyond the point where it had been sprinkled. Chedev had the stinking pleasure of watching his earlier ej*culation leak through her tightly closed entrance as he pushed his c*ck all the way to the root.

Although she wanted to wipe it away due to her discomfort, her body felt weak and it was too much of an effort. She thought of the man who would have noticed her condition in the past and would have personally cleaned her with a damp cloth. It only made her feel more despondent inside.

The reason why the afterglow lingered in her mind occasionally was because through that act, she could confirm his love. What Rasha valued was not the noble and elegant attitude he presented, but the clear affection embedded within that attitude.

“……”

“……”

Suddenly, their eyes met.

Chedev withdrew his arm from the railing and entered the bedroom. Between his slightly open robe, his well-defined muscles revealed themselves discreetly. He approached her, careful not to let the smoke reach her, and sat on the edge of the bed.

The gesture of brushing away her disheveled hair felt both simple and devoid of emotion.

“The guests are expected to arrive at the mansion soon.”

“Guests…? Who?”

He only gently stroked his head without saying a word. As Rasha looked up at the silent man, a chilling intuition passed through her spine.

It must be that woman.

She was recently making a fuss around the mansion, set to become Chedev’s wife and the lady of the manor…

Chedev, noticing Rasha’s trembling pupils, seemed to have conveyed everything with that alone as he rose from his seat. There was no hesitation in his actions, and even the accompanying words were nonexistent.

That dry and indifferent attitude once again sent Rasha spiraling down to the depths.

The color that lingered in Rasha’s eyes faded like sand. Suddenly, her pride gave way, and in its place came self-doubt that left her speechless.

“Well, then let’s put an end to this, too.”

If last time she was cautious, seeking consent, this time her tone was closer to unilaterally declaring the conclusion. As she headed towards the bathroom, perhaps with the intention of washing up, she abruptly stopped in her tracks.

The pale moonlight was obscured by clouds, leaving a dark dawn. The solitary lamp inside the room, casting a dim light, illuminated the motionless silhouette of the rigid man.

Looking at his back, Rasha felt not happiness but a sense of melancholy. And a slight taste of bitter loneliness. She couldn’t understand when the time spent looking at his back alone had become so long.

Chedev turned his body. His expression was not clearly visible, hidden by shadows.

“Why are you saying that again?”

As he took a step forward, the glimmering strands of light delicately revealed his beautiful facial features. Rasha couldn’t tear her eyes away from the traces. Even now, just by looking at that face, her heart would beat erratically… Overwhelmed by a sense of injustice, a surge of emotions welled up uncontrollably.

While blinking her moistened eyelashes a few times, she found herself back on the bed. Chedev’s touch gripping her chin was not aggressive, but it carried an undeniable force that she couldn’t escape.

“Since the last time, what do you mean by stop?”

“Let’s break up.”

An expressionless face brought forth an unusually prominent cold impression right before his eyes.

“Break up…?”

Chedev scrutinized her eyes as if he was meticulously examining every detail, and slowly contemplated the words Rasha had uttered. Tension and heavy silence enveloped the space between them.

Not long after, Chedev twisted his lips in annoyance. It was a chilling response.

“Say something reasonable.”

Rasha leaned closer, her lips meeting his for a moment before they separated, and she stared blankly at Chedev’s lips.

“How are we supposed to break up?”

Either he’d heard something truly absurd, or she didn’t know how to do it. It’s a tricky question. Chedev’s brow furrowed as he watched Rasha turn away without a response.

“Hmm…”

He moved his lips away from her chin, slipping toward her ear, and gently nibbled on her earlobe. Stimulating Rasha’s sensitive nerve was Chedev’s customary way to initiate s*x. It was the same now. Avoiding his hands that were reaching out more forcefully, Rasha twisted her body.

“I don’t want to. Not now… I don’t want to do it.”

Her body and mind were in disarray. She didn’t want to indulge in pleasure that was forced upon her in this state. It was evident that in the end, only her miserable heart would be left all alone.

She w*t her chin, turned her shoulder to avoid his forceful advances, but Chedev persistently followed her and kissed her lips here and there. His large hands that were gripping the sheet were now caressing her round br*asts.

“Chedev… hah… Che-dev…!”

“Can you break up with me?”

Suddenly, a voice pierced through her ears, causing her heart to thump.

It was a strange occurrence. I had been considering the breakup with him all along, but why did it feel like my insides were crumbling in an instant?

Ah, Rasha finally realized that she herself hadn’t fully grasped the reality of the breakup. They had been together for almost seven years. Within the time they shared, nothing was in vain. Their love was vividly and perfectly embedded within those seven years. The memories were proof of that.

Breaking up would be like denying and discarding that entire period of time. She couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Somehow, a chill ran down her spine. Maybe Chedev wanted her desperately to hold onto him through these words. But the b*by… Now, his seed had taken its place inside her womb, unbeknownst to anyone.

The thought of uprooting all of this was not only unfamiliar but also terrifying.

Her mind became tangled with confusion for various reasons. Chedev embraced Rasha’s waist and whispered into her ear.

“I can’t break up with you.”

“…”

“So, never mention such things again.”

Isn’t it weird. It was clearly like a confession, yet it didn’t sound like a confession at all.

That night in the summer, when the grasshopper sang fervently. It must be because I still vividly remembered the confession he made when his heart was still overflowing with genuine love. The emotions Chedev poured out at that time and his current confession had different density and intensity.

As evidence of that, Rasha’s heart sank without any fluttering vibrations of excitement.

Instead of forcing himself to embrace her as she rejected the relationship, Chedev chose to head for the bathroom, where he intended to relieve the raging erect*on in his lower abdomen when he stood up. Normally, he didn’t force her to have s*x if she didn’t want to.

But now it was becoming a poison.

Once again, alone in the bedroom, Rasha felt her stomach clench, and her hands shivered slightly as she rubbed her still-flabby stomach in search of warmth.