Chapter 3.1 – The Onion Experiment that Listens to Bad Words

There’s an experiment.

If you grow onions and speak bad words to them, they grow better than onions that hear good words.

Normally, you’d think it’s the opposite, but apparently, onions that hear nasty words fill up with grit and grow vigorously.

“That’s what it is. Cherry, your thing is like an onion that grows better when it hears bad words. Not that it’s full of malice.”

“……”

Cherilian looked at Tina, who explained proudly with a strange expression.

So in the end, it’s just filled with toxins? If it’s similar to him, corrupted by external factors, then it’s a fitting metaphor.

Unaware of her husband’s complicated feelings, Tina sat in the chair Cherilian had pulled out for her.

As she drank the water he poured for her, she started complaining about muscle aches in her thighs.

Then, as soon as the servant brought their meal, she changed her expression to one of prim composure.

Sitting in the dining room, waiting for breakfast with Tina, Cherilian almost sighed as he saw the dish in front of him.

There were roasted onions on the plate.

Feeling cold, Cherilian cut the well-roasted onion into pieces with his knife, muttering,

“Did that onion… really grow full of grit and malice?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

Tina, busy with her chicken br*ast, swallowed and asked. Cherilian brushed it off, but his mind was full of other thoughts.

If the onion that heard bad words actually liked them… would that be crazy?

Cherilian chewed on his familiar self-loathing. Tina’s vulgar insults were no longer just a method—they were now a precarious preference.

‘How did I become such a hopeless pervert…’

Cherilian wasn’t just sitting back in this situation. Not wanting to be dragged around by the succubus’s instructions like a will, he was searching for related people and items outside the temple in his domain.

As a result, he was even tricked into buying a germanium ore with no effect at all. (This is absolutely a secret from Tina.)

Tina, with her innocent eyes, tilted her head, completely unaware of her husband’s confusion and irritation. She seemed hesitant, as if she had something to say.

Forcing himself to clear his mind, Cherilian smiled and asked,

“Why are you looking at me like that? If you have something to say, go ahead.”

He wondered if he should add that she should refrain from treating the food as a lewd, corrupted onion during meals.

Fortunately, Tina was not a wicked farmer who would further corrupt the onion. Sweet Tina carefully watched Cherilian for his reaction and asked,

“Cherry, aren’t you busy today?”

In fact, he had cleared his schedule for a cozy date with Tina today.

When he happily let her know, Tina’s sky-blue eyes sparkled brightly. Cherilian smiled warmly and asked affectionately,

“Is there anything you want to do?”

“Yes. Actually, there’s a place I wanted to go…”

As Tina smiled, the onion, full of grit and malice but also suspicious happiness, became anxious.

* * *

If Tina hadn’t firmly said, “I want to go here!” Cherilian would have taken her to the city’s most luxurious and delicious restaurant.

Afterward, they’d ride a boat along the river, drink cocktails with ice, and he’d buy her a bouquet from a child selling flowers on the street.

That was the kind of romance Cherilian Biente wanted to enjoy with Tina.

But where they ended up was in the middle of the city’s busiest marketplace, at the most crowded hour.

“……”

Cherilian was quite uncomfortable. Of course, his annoyance wasn’t directed at his wife, who had brought him here for something she wanted to do.

He was just tense because the noisy, crowded place didn’t seem safe for Tina at all.

The city where the Duke’s mansion was located was one of the largest in the southern Kingdom of Velia, a hub of transportation and commerce, bustling with people.

Wearing his hood up, Cherilian’s sharp eyes scanned for any unidentified dangers near Tina.

‘Why are there so many people today?’

He wrapped his arm protectively around Tina’s shoulder, making sure she wouldn’t get swept away or hurt in the crowd.

Unaware that his tall, broad-shouldered, imposing presence was making many people whisper and avoid them, Cherilian kept watch.

“Is this really where you wanted to go?”

“Yep.”

Tina strode ahead confidently.

“How do you know your way around better than someone who’s lived here all their life?”

“I’m just good at finding my way.”

Holding his hand and walking half a step ahead, Tina marched on with pride. He’d thought she was only good at finding forest paths, but she navigated the maze-like city streets just as well.

Cherilian’s lips curled in satisfaction as he discovered another of his wife’s strengths.  

However, that smile faded into a straight line as Tina headed toward a direction far from anything luxurious, into a more secluded area. The fantasy and romance he’d pictured in his mind seemed to blur bit by bit.

Her destination was an alley lined with small and large restaurants.

“Ah, it’s this way!”

She eagerly read the numbers and symbols assigned to each alley, then slipped into a lane where the crowd had thinned out.

Tina, excited, grabbed Cherilian’s hand and pulled him along.

Soon, they arrived at—

“What is this place…?”

Cherilian lifted his hood slightly to check the sign.

[Grandma the Swearer’s Eternal Stew Shop]  

‘Why does something like this exist?’  

[*Sometimes Grandpa the Swearer comes too]  

‘So the old couple are both swearers?’  

[**There is no Aunt Grandma the Swearer!]  

‘Why does it say there’s no aunt grandma?’  

[***She passed away]  

‘…Rest in peace.’

“……”

Cherilian rubbed his dry eyes. He was already tired.

The door to Eternal Stew Shop was wide open. Inside, there were surprisingly many people, and the smell of boiled pork and various vegetables stewing together filled the air with a thick, delicious aroma that made his appetite stir.

“Let’s go in.”

Cherilian paused for a moment. The idea of packing cute teacups and going on a picnic like in childhood nearly rose to his throat.

“Is this really the place you wanted to come?”

Tina, annoyed by the repeated question, finally snapped.

“Stop asking!”

If she’d bitten his cheek, he wouldn’t have felt so wronged. Cherilian’s spirit wilted under his wife’s irritation.

He trudged after Tina into the shop, looking like a cat awkwardly trying to adjust to a new home.

As the two stood awkwardly at the entrance, a rough, raspy voice thundered at them.

“Don’t just stand there like fools! Sit your b*tts down in an empty seat!”

It was a welcome so rough it almost stung. True to its selling point of swearing, the greeting was as blunt as could be.

Tina hurried to find a seat and, seeing Cherilian only frowning, grabbed his arm and pulled him along.

Once again, Cherilian let himself be led, shuffling along like a lifeless doll.

Unlike Cherilian, who wore a hood to hide his identity, Tina simply tied her hair neatly and looked around with curiosity.

Even with the hood, he couldn’t cover his whole face, so people inside the shop glanced at him.

It was a rare sight to see such a handsome couple. The customers’ pace of eating stew slowed considerably.

The swearing owner began pacing between tables, urging people to hurry up and eat and get out.

Tina, thrilled by the new experience, kept looking around until someone came to take their order.

“Look over there, Cherry.”

She giggled and pointed at a sign, which made Cherilian chuckle dryly.

[Swearing is free and refills are available. As long as you act stupid!]

Just then, someone must have acted stupid, and the two got to witness an example from the sign.

“You idiot! Who told you to smack your lips while eating!”

‘Learning table manners for the price of a bowl of stew—how impressive,’ Cherilian thought sarcastically. He tried to guess why Tina had chosen this place for their date. It wasn’t hard to figure out.

“Did you come here for reference, Tina?”

If that was the case, he felt he might want to interfere with her efforts.