Chapter 4

‘Aaaah! Please… don’t… don’t do this, Mother!’  

‘You have to bear Kreuten’s heir! Since your husband isn’t here, I have to help you myself!’ 

Shaking in shame, she was forced to accept a leather-made object between her legs. Her dry, aching body protested, but they didn’t stop. Her lower body was exposed before the servants who held her down.  

Liliana would never forget the men who stared at her with gleaming eyes.  

She swallowed dryly.  

Her lower body still ached. She remembered the servants who, under the guise of watching over her as she slept with the warmth of a horse, would stand outside and harass her with crude remarks.  

‘Duchess. It’s me, me. Yesterday, I held your legs and spread them myself. Ah, before that, I even undressed you from your nightgown. Please, look kindly on me just once.’  

She could still vividly recall the men who shamelessly pleasured themselves in front of her with red eyes. Liliana shook her head, her face pale.  

Her heart pounded wildly. One year—could she really endure it?  

Liliana stepped away from Raven, putting some distance between them.  

“Oh my, Lily. Why do you look so unwell? Should we call a doctor?”  

Rachel grabbed her. Liliana turned her head sharply at the grip that dug into her arm.  

“Ahh!”  

Liliana screamed, shaking off the hand. Raven quickly supported her.  

“Lily?”  

“I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t expect you to be so startled…”  

“…Breakfast seems out of the question. Mother, could you call the doctor?”  

“Of course. I’ll send Sir Cherville to your room.”  

Raven thought for a moment, then shook his head.  

He didn’t know how Liliana had been cared for, but he was sure Cherville’s medicine wouldn’t help her.  

“Please send Silvia.”  

“Ah.”  

The Grand Madam and Rachel exchanged glances.  

‘What should we do, Mother?’  

Silvia was an excellent doctor. But she had no connection with them, so they hadn’t managed to win her over.  

‘It’ll be fine. Nothing will happen.’  

They had worked so hard to leave no trace on Liliana’s body. And before Raven arrived, they had checked—there wasn’t a single scar.  

“Yes, Brother. I’ll do that.”  

Raven nodded to the two and then lifted Liliana in his arms. She was definitely lighter. He could feel she weighed much less than she had on their wedding day. Raven clenched his teeth.  

Someone must have been siphoning off money. Or else, they had starved this already small and delicate woman!  

“D*mn it.”  

Liliana trembled and closed her eyes.  

“What’s wrong?”  

“A-are you angry at me?”  

What was that supposed to mean? Raven raised his eyebrows.  

His fiery temper threatened to flare up, but he suppressed it.  

“Of course not.”  

Liliana let out a small sigh of relief.  

“Then why are you upset?”  

Noticing Liliana’s anxious eyes, Raven awkwardly raised his lips. It was his best attempt to reassure his fragile wife.  

“Upset? Of course not. I’m just worried because you’re sick.”  

Raven slowed his pace. Fortunately, Liliana didn’t seem as unwell as he’d feared. She was pale, but her mind was clear and she spoke firmly.  

“…You’re worried? I’m sick, and you…? Why?”  

Liliana asked, puzzled.  

“Since you’re saying nothing, I don’t know what’s going on. But during this divorce mediation period, we are still husband and wife. So of course I’m worried.”  

“…If I’m sick, you’re upset?”  

“Yes.”  

Liliana tilted her head.  

Until now, Liliana had only known people who hurt her—she had never experienced someone comforting or embracing her. No one had ever sympathized with her sorrow or understood her pain.  

But now, Raven was saying he was upset if she was sick?  

Why?  

“Why is that?”  

“Lily. Do you really not understand?”  

“Of course.”  

Raven let out a long sigh. Liliana’s bedroom door swung open. He set her down on the bed and drove out all the maids trying to enter.  

“When Silvia arrives, have her knock.”  

“Yes, Your Grace.”  

He locked the door.  

Striding over, Raven knelt before Liliana and took her hand. After standing at the crossroads of life and death on the battlefield, kneeling meant nothing to him. Raven’s pride lay in this mansion and the nation he protected, not in such gestures.  

“If you’re sick, of course I’m upset. Because you’re my wife.”  

Raven knew how much regret could come from not speaking one’s true feelings when death was near. So he was honest and expressive.  

When death approaches, everything becomes meaningless.  

Only regrets remain.  

“Because I’m your husband. And also because I fell in love with you at first sight.”  

Raven confessed honestly. Ever since that ball, Liliana had never left his mind.  

“What?”  

Liliana blinked in surprise at the words she’d never heard before.  

“…You really didn’t know. Then why do you think the Kreuten butler came to see you? There was no connection between us.”  

“B-but…”  

“I wrote the marriage proposal myself and sent it.”  

Liliana recalled the proposal letter she had received.  

[While I was at war, I lost my wife, and you lost your fiancé who went to war. Such a remarkable coincidence—perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if we filled the empty spaces by marrying each other?]

Where in that letter was the love at first sight he spoke of? Liliana simply couldn’t understand. She shook her head.  

“N-no way!”  

“How can you say that? I know my own heart, not you.”  

“S-still…”  

Liliana lowered her confused face.  

“Still? Lily, I fell in love with you at first sight, and that’s a fact that can’t be changed. I remember exactly what expression you wore and how you walked that day.”  

“That day?”  

Liliana was stunned by the story she’d never heard before. She had thought it was a marriage based only on money and circumstances.  

“It was at the King’s birthday ball. The day you danced with old Rolbert. You were wearing a blue dress.”  

Liliana’s pupils widened. She remembered that day too. After Steven’s death, she had suffered under Earl Everset for a month. He was desperate to sell her for the highest price.  

‘Before your value drops completely, I have to sell you quickly. How about Viscount Rolbert?’  

‘Father… Viscount Rolbert is fifteen years older than you!’  

‘Age doesn’t matter! Money does. Do you think you can go out and earn enough to feed our family? Someone like you? Liliana, write a letter to Viscount Rolbert begging him to marry you!’  

‘I don’t want to…’  

She had written the letter while crying, after being slapped repeatedly. Only after calming down did the King’s birthday ball take place, and there she met Viscount Rolbert for the first time.  

White hair, skin mottled with age spots, yellow teeth peeking between wrinkled lips. Worse than his foul smell was the way he looked at Liliana, as if she was a courtesan.  

That’s right. Viscount Rolbert didn’t want a wife—he wanted an expensive courtesan to warm his bed and satisfy his desires. Liliana held back tears and wore the dress her mother had chosen, forced to dance.  

One, two, three.  

One, two, three.  

She felt like a ballerina spinning inside a music box. And yet, did she meet Raven that day? She had no memory of it.  

“I-I don’t know.”  

“It’s not that you saw me, but that I saw you.”  

Raven’s sharp gaze caught the trembling in Liliana’s body subsiding. Even while talking, he was watching her reactions closely. Raven stood up and carefully sat beside her.

Sharing warmth would help to calm Liliana.  

“Falling in love at first sight… does that mean you still have feelings for me? Even now?”  

Liliana turned to Raven. Because they were closer, Liliana’s scent flooded over Raven. Holding the back of Liliana’s hand, Raven spoke softly.  

“Lily. ‘Feelings’ isn’t the right word. You don’t need to use such a broad term. What I have for you is affection.”  

Raven corrected Liliana’s wording. Liliana’s face flushed bright red and she shook her head.  

“N-no way…”  

“What do you mean, ‘no way’?”  

“There’s no way someone could like me!”  

Liliana shouted, briefly forgetting her fear. But that moment of courage quickly faded as her shattered self-esteem caught her again. She shrank her neck and glanced at Raven.  

“A-are you angry?”  

Raven frowned and asked,  

“Why would I be angry?”  

“Because I just… raised my voice.”  

Raven thought maybe the problem was more serious than expected. To make such a frightened, squirrel-like expression over raising her voice…